There was a knock on the door, and I answered it wearing my bathrobe. It was one of my partners, who was coming over for a visit.
He joined me in the bedroom. We sat on the bed talking for a moment, then he started kissing my knee. I mentioned I hadn’t eaten yet, so we headed into the kitchen so I could heat up some leftovers.
We keep stopping to kiss each other (as lovers do). He started playing around a little more seriously, and took me by the hand and took me back to the bedroom.
Afterward, he said “It’s all your fault.”
“How is it my fault that you men can’t control your urges?”
Laughter followed my question as we had just finished a spontaneous mutually agreed upon satisfying love making session.
Yeah, I know, it sounds like the blame game is being played there. But he did in fact have my full enthusiastic consent for that time. Consent, power and control have been issues for a very long time in my life until recently when I realized WHO really had/has the power over EVERYTHING in my life. And that’s me.
Consent can be implicit as well as explicit. Since we were in a relationship, and because I did have the power to say no, he knew it would be okay to continue. If at any point it had not been okay to say No he would have stopped, as he had in the past when I have said no.
Vixen (RagingAlphaBitch on Fetlife) is a member of CSPC who has learned the high value of consent. Her recommended links on consent — and ours — can be found at The Consent Page.