Celia Waddell, Community Weaver
Sex positive content sponsored by the Center for Sex Positive Culture.
I love orders. Orders are a good way to make the submissive playmate take action. This afternoon I received some very sideways orders. My dominant playmate said, “I believe you will wash my rope and bring it back to me.” I wasn't convinced. They had just tied a piece of rope against my labia and around my hips. I was a bit pre-occupied. Was this an order? It was.
I do intend to mostly obey orders from this particular playmate, choosing in each moment to obey or not. The language of this 'order' made me confused. My mind leapt to asking myself if I believe it or not. I didn't believe it. Perhaps I would wash the rope and tie it into a rope cock. Perhaps I would tie it to my bed and make them come and get it. Perhaps.......and my mind was off to a thousand silly possibilities.
I wish they had said, “Woman, wash this rope, tie it nicely and give it to me on our next date.” I like it because it's clear and because it helps my attention stay on task. Giving direct orders can take some practice. Try saying them to your mirror in the morning. Would you believe yourself? Would you obey? Are you worth it? Chances are, if someone is playing with you, they know you are worth it and are excited to do most of what you want.
Expect that it will take practice with each person to come to understand the orders the same way. When I top, I love giving very precise orders. If I say, “Finish this paperwork and leave it on my pillow.” I won't respond well to the paperwork being left on my bedside table.
Give some thought to what you will do if your playmate disobeys an order. For some relationships, disobedience can be a deal breaker. How tolerant do you want to be? Consider an agreement that allows the submissive partner a chance to call a time-out and discuss the order.
Remember that orders that seem clear might not be. The same words don't always mean the same thing. Ordered to do the laundry, a playmate might:
Drop things off at a service and have a spa day
Stress about doing it right for hours, research the web and feel very put out
Or spend a similar amount of time that I would spend
Culturally, we're taught to “be polite.” The urge to stick extra words in orders is simply cultural baggage. Ignore it. Keep your orders free of extra words. It will be easier for you and for your playmate(s).
Please login first in order for you to submit comments