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Welcome to the Center for Sex Positive Culture.

Orientations are Tuesdays at 5:00, Thursdays at 6:30, and Saturdays at 4:30. See our event calendar or the event guide page for more information. And…

Check it Out!

It’s OLD HOME weekend at the Center, with THE GRIND on Friday and the FETISH NIGHT on Saturday!  Clear your calendars and call in sick Boys & Girls & Other Genders!  This is gonna be worth it!

Warm up on Friday with THE NOONER as your daytime party, and don’t forget to join us for BONDAGE IS THE POINT on Sunday night.  It’s a heck of a weekend!  Maybe call in sick on Monday too!

 

 

Volunteers Needed for PRIDE

The Development Committee needs YOUR help with building the PRIDE float! It’ll be a cut above this year & carpentry and art skills are helpful, but not necessary. Please contact execassist@gmail.com if you’re interested in being one of our much-needed helpers. Thank you!

In a Sex Positive World, There Are No Moral Judgments

Sex Positive World 1In thinking about a positive sex culture, I sometimes go to the place of “everyone should have more sex!” As a sex worker for almost a decade, I hear (I’m a phone sex operator operator) first hand how much sex (and touch) can help people feel like people. Within this line of thinking, I mentally gloss over people who choose to be chaste, or who choose to live in chaste relationships. Continue reading

Shop to Support the Center

polyamoryWhatever you need to buy, you can invest in the Center for Sex Positive Culture at the same time. Maybe you’ve noticed that red “donate” button pop up on your phone when you go to the Center website, or maybe you’re just now looking up and to the right on the front page (http://thecspc.org) and finding a “Shop to Support” button. What’s that about?

Anytime you shop online through the “Shop to Support” campaign on our website, between .5% and 9% is donated to the CSPC. And you don’t have to give up anything to do it. Just click on the button, then click on “See all merchants” at the bottom of the popup. That will lead you to the page where you can browse merchants and select the one you need.

What are you looking for this weekend? Sexy clothing? Try Fredericks of Hollywood. Sexy times? Browse the personal products through Drugstore.com.

If you’re looking for a less sexy kind of fun, shop games through Gamestop, or buy movie tickets through Fandango. Target is an option. Or buy experiences and restaurant coupons through Groupon.

Are you looking for local companies? Starbucks, Microsoft, and Nordstrom are all among the options. If you’d rather your dollars go strictly to eco-friendly and/or fair trade products, there are some great merchants worth checking out. Today I bought 9 books for $22 and free shipping through Better World Books, which donates a used book to someone in need for every book I buy.

You could try getting your coffee through Equal Exchange, buying clothes through American Apparel or Threads for Thought, and getting your eco-friendly supplies through Reuse it.

If you’ve started shopping for Mother’s Day, think of shopping through our site. Try JustFlowers, Ghirardelli’s, or The Body Shop. There are over 150 merchants so you can find what you need. Eyeglasses, electronics, pet supplies, auto parts, shoes, leather boots … you can find it all through the Center’s front page.

Give it a try, and know that whatever your purchase, your money will help support the Sex Positive Culture. One note though, purchases through Amazon.com help support the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture rather than the Center.

So please, shop through the site this weekend and buy something. Let your friends know about this program — they can help too. And know that your participation is appreciated.

In a Sex Positive World, Sex Education Goes Beyond Disease Prevention

Sex Positive World 1In high school, I watched a demo of how to put a condom on a banana. We didn’t have a sex ed class. This was just something our biology teacher thought we should know. So he brought in someone from Planned Parenthood one day, and did an overview of STD’s the next day, and boom! We were educated and ready to DO IT!

This year in March I learned a similar skill from a sex worker in “Sex Ed 201.” Except instead of a banana, it was a partner with a strap-on dildo.  And instead of her hands, she used her mouth. I went straight home and practiced until I couldn’t stand the taste of latex anymore. It’s … ah … harder than it looks.

The two hours of sex education I had in high school was more than most teens get today. According to this  John Oliver segment on sex education, in 2015 only 22 states required sex education. Of those, only 15 required that it be medically accurate. The majority of sex education classes in high schools are “Abstinence Only” classes.

Clearly basic anatomy, disease prevention and contraception are a good place to start.  Throw in consent, gender identity, how to maintain boundaries, an “all sexual identities and preferences are okay” message, and a chance for kids to ask the questions they have and get real-world based answers.  Then you’ve got a solid starter curriculum.

But as we continue to grow beyond high school, we also continue to learn. In a sex positive world, sex education is fun and informative and goes waaaay beyond How to Not Get Syphilis or Pregnant.

If selected wisely, a partner can be a great source of knowledge.  I learned basic oral sex technique from a co-counselor at a Y camp, and Kink 101 from my manager at Hot Dogs N’ More (he was the “more”). I learned  healing erotic touch from a guy who lived in his van and looked like Jesus. A woman in Hays, Kansas taught me to seduce people by playing the opening riff to Suite Madame Blue.  And I continue to explore new sexual horizons with my partner, who is sex-positive, open-minded, and very skilled. #LuckyMe!

The Foundation calendar for next month shows me I could learn about self-pleasuring, pick up some tips about ropes and whips, massage the finer points of consent, avoid some of the common poly pitfalls, or learn to suspend myself — and the workshops keep coming.

I recently took a workshop called Erotic Spanking. I thought I knew everything about erotic spanking.  But I learned some things, not the least of which is that there are people much braver than I willing to bottom for a workshop on Erotic Spanking.

At the Center I’ve learned by watching, talking to people, and attending parties that have demos as part of the party.  Just last week I learned how to be deeply hypnotized while watching a demo in hypnosis.

Beyond the Foundation and the Center, I’ve found lots of other tutors.  There are sex positive groups in support of specific identities, kinks, lifestyles, and skills.  I could ask someone at  Babeland how to use that weird bendy looking thing.  I could go to a munch or hey — I could attend the Seattle Erotic Art Festival  this weekend and learn about body-painting, creating cartoon characters, or striptease.

The world we live in is becoming more sex positive all the time. Online, there are websites a-plenty, forums and discussion groups about every possible imaginable kink. There is a lot of bad information, but there is more good information.  FetLife is a great place to start.

Googling your particular interest can also yield great results.  “Asexual intimacy tips” yields 338,000 results “Advanced female masturbation tips,” 292,000. “D/s submission tips,” 1.5 million.  Whatever your deal, there are websites, videos and how-to’s. This Google thing is a powerful force. Use it wisely.

In an increasingly sex positive world, the options beyond “How Not to Get a Disease,” flourish.  So all thanks to today’s adult sex positive culture, which offers more possibilities than ever.

Now, how can we some of that basic information to teens?

Virginia Lore is teaching a workshop this weekend at SEAF: “Love Letters from the Heart and Further South” at 3:00 on Saturday in the Literary Lounge. Her blog is Sex and Justice.

This is the 10th piece in the 12-part series.  You can find an index to the rest of the series here.

Genderbread

Genderbread-Person-3.3

This image of The Genderbread person is shared by permission from Sam Killermann of It’s Pronounced Metrosexual.  It separates out five different areas of our sexual being in the world:  gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, sexual attraction and romantic attraction.

 

Genderbread-Person-3.3

Click for larger view.

 

All Gender Identities Are Welcome

Sex Positive World 1Growing up a transgender girl who didn’t know that she was a girl, I was awash in all manner of hateful and harmful imagery. I grew up with characters like Buffalo Bill, Dil, and Dr. Frank-N-Furter, all of whom who told me that trans women weren’t really women. We were predators, mentally ill and sexually deviant men to the core. I cannot tell you how much harm that can do to a young woman.

For many years I lived with shame as one of my deep and abiding friends. The sort of shame that told me I was wrong. Wrong in a way I didn’t understand. It was a shame that sits in the chest like a knot, hurting me anytime I thought of it.

If that sounds dark that’s because it is. There’s something about the prejudice facing trans women that’s tied intimately to our sexuality. There are about men who can’t stop thinking of themselves as gay for being in a relationship with a trans woman despite being heterosexual. The world sees women that were born with penises as some sort of sickly attractive freak show. All of cisgender society has a huge hang up about trans women when it comes to sex. And for trans people ourselves, having to live in that society teaches us to hate who we are. We are little more than disgusting objects.

So I carried that knot of shame around with me every single day. It hurt like you wouldn’t believe. I wasn’t able to be authentic in any part of my life and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why, that is, until I finally had an identity crisis and realized that I was transgender.

It was shortly after meeting an actual real live trans woman and seeing Janet Mock and Laverne Cox in the news and on TV that I suddenly recognized what was wrong with me. When I came out to myself and acknowledged that I was a trans woman I felt that knot of shame vanish. I’m still healing from that injury, but I wish I’d never had to carry it in the first place. And maybe in a better world I never would have had to.

Because in a better world, a sex positive world, being transgender wouldn’t be such a crime. I’d be able to find porn by, for, and starring trans women, porn that didn’t fetishize and objectify us; it would be a healthy normal. I’d be able to discuss my sexual compatibility with any potential partner without fear of rejection or harm. Because my sex traits would be seen as a healthy normal.  And whether I engaged in a long term and loving sexual relationship or just casual sex, I’d be seen as any other woman would and not be stigmatized for who and what I am. Poly or monogamous, serial or not, transgender women would be given a grant of normalcy that we usually have to fight for desperately.

In a sex positive world, sex would be a source of joy for trans women, not a deep well of shame that we’re told to drink from time and time again. Those of us that are sexual — and we do come in every variety of sexuality under the rainbow — would be free to explore that side of ourselves without worry. And those of us that are asexual would be able to be asexual in a world that didn’t see them as broken.

It’s not the same as creating a world where gender identity is truly respected, but creating a sex positive world would go a long way towards making people like me feel normal and authentic and free to be ourselves.

-Alexandra is a transgender woman from the Pacific Northwest trying her best to help light up a world that can often be a little dark.

This piece is part of a 12-part series, In a Sex Positive World.  You can find an index to the rest of the series here.

 

Support Groups on Site

Do you know about the support and discussion groups that meet on site?  These are independent groups listed on the calendar for the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture.

  • Intimate Polarity – people in or interested in lifelong monogamous relationships, 4th Saturday, 3:30-5:30pm
  • MaST – Seattle – people in or interested in Master/slave, Owner/property or other Power Differential relationships, 1st Wednesday, 7-9 pm
  • Poly Potluck & Discussion Group – 3rd Sunday, 5:30 – 8 pm
  • Right Side of the Slash – people who identify as bottoms/submissives/etc, 3rd Mondays, 7 – 9 pm
  • Sacred Sexuality Meetup – exploring sexuality through Lee Harrison’s book, Sacred Kink, 2nd Saturday of odd months,  3:30-5:30pm
  • Sex Geekdom -people who love having geeky conversations about sex – 2nd Thursdays, 7 – 9 pm
  • Survivors of Sexual Abuse – a peer support group for any survivor of childhood sexual abuse and incest – 1st Mondays, 7 – 9 pm
  • Switched ON! – people who identify as switches – 3rd Thursday of even months, 6:30 – 8 pm
  • View from the Top – people who identify as Tops, Dom/mes & etc. – 3rd Mondays, 7-9

 

Nine Men in the Shower

JamesinShower
JamesinShower

Photo by: Daniel McGlothlen. All photo models have signed agreements and are 18 and over. See more of the photos here.

We at the Center for Sex Positive Culture are proud of our new shower. It was the culmination of months of fundraising and hard physical work. It has bondage-ready hard points in the walls and ceiling, a hose bib with hot and cold water, a toilet, a urinal and four shower heads. It’s beautiful and it’s ready to party.

So when Jim Duvall, one of the folks who built the new shower, mentioned late in February I should consider hosting a one-time-only men’s party in the Main Space to celebrate this achievement it seemed exactly the right thing for me to do. Jan, the CSPC Managing Director, immediately agreed. And she gave me permission to host a little photo shoot in the shower for my buddies to create shower-related promotional materials. And that’s where my adventure began. Continue reading