Featured post

Kinky Cabaret – December 8th


Join us for a night of comedy, burlesque, music, kink and visit from Uncle Jeffery, your favorite Gay Uncle.

Your Emcee
Jeffery Robert
Comedy by
Tambre Massman
Burlesque by
Miss Violet DeVille
Ms. Candy Apples
Elwood Fluze
Whisper DeCorvo
Music by
Musique a Trois


This is a fundraiser for the Center’s move into our new building! Doors open at 7, show from 7:30PM to 9:45PM with more fun to be had after the show with Kinky Karaoke!

18+ until 10 PM

$15 at the door for the show and Karaoke and $5 after 10PM

At the Skylark Lounge
3803 Delridge Way SW, Seattle, Washington 98106

Sexually Active Seniors Have Better Memory

According to a Coventry University study of 6,800 men and women ages 50-89, those who were sexually active performed better on memory tests than those who were not.  Subjects were given two tests. One was a memory test in which people were asked to remember a list of 10 common words immediately after hearing them, and then again following a brief delay. Another was a test for executive function in which subjects had to identify the missing number from a numerical sequence.

Women who reported having had sex in the last year performed better on memory tests than their abstaining counterparts; whereas, men performed better on both tests.

Click here for the original study.

Helping Others Helped Me

I started volunteering very soon after I joined in August of 2010. I didn’t know anyone, and knew very little about the kink community, although I had been polyamorous for most of my life. There were a lot of other vanilla newbies who joined at the same time. We banded together to explore as a group, and this “buddy system” worked very well for us. So we designed a program to help other newcomers. By February 2011 I was running the Passport Program, a sort of “welcome wagon” to help educate and orient new members. There have been hundreds of people who’ve participated in the program in the last five years.

Now, the thing about educating people is that you have to be educated yourself. So I did a lot of research, talked to a lot of people, went to workshops, and as my knowledge grew I was able to pass more along to new members. I’ve also partnered with several other volunteers over the years, who shared their experience with me and with new members. I got to know the Center very well, and concepts and practices of the kink community. And I was able to share my own experiences as I explored my own sex-positive path.

Parties at the Center were also essential to my growth. My favorites are separated into two kinds: socials and impact parties. Socials like the Poly Social and Boarding Pass and the Hump Social let me talk to new people in a low-stress environment. These are where I met most of my play partners. I most enjoy playing at BDSM parties that are impact-focused. Especially those that have music with a driving beat, the better to smack to. My favorites are In Irons and the Grind. These parties also allow sex, which is a big plus for those of us whose play involves it.

I sometimes run into former Passport members at these parties. It’s really gratifying to have people look me up months or even years later and tell me how much the Passport helped them fit in and feel comfortable at the Center. People have meet friends and even partners through the program.

So, I know my efforts have made a difference, both for new members and for me. Now the Passport program has expanded and we welcome a lot of non-members too. For some it’s their first exposure to the Center. That welcoming presence has been significant to a lot of people. Many who participate in the program go on to become volunteers themselves. It’s a virtuous cycle: the help you give others expands your own experience, and so you’re able to even better help others. So volunteering helps the whole community – and the person it helps the most might just be yourself.

–Panda has been a member at the Center for six years.  His previous article is Stepping Stones to Sex Positivity.

Consent Culture in YA Literature

Sex Positive World 1Steady yourselves, I’m going to recommend an article in Glamour magazine.

But first I want to talk about Veronica Mars. You remember Veronica Mars right? A TV show a few years back, it featured Kristen Bell as a high school girl who helped solve cases that came in to her Dad’s detective agency. But what sucked me in right away was her backstory. Continue reading

On Stigma

Sex Positive World 1In a world full of people that live a sex positive life, it can be hard to navigate certain subjects, one of which is disease prevention.

I have been in the kink/leather community for the past 5+ years and I am also a gay man living with HIV for the past six years.  I know all too well what it is like to have stigma attached to my life.  I have navigated the sex sites, the apps, and sexual encounters, during which time I have been marginalized by more people than I would care to mention.   Continue reading

Volunteer Spotlight: Bluebottle

Logo_Flame_BlackMy first kid was actually conceived at the Spot,* in the big bondage bed. It was one of those things that was brought up during orientations for many years afterward and I’ve had several partners who have gone – “oh that was you? – cool!!”

I’ve enjoyed volunteering when I can, I’ve done that at some of the first Paradise and SEAF events and its been very rewarding. For the folks who, like me, sometimes find it hard to be extroverted and meet folks, volunteering is a great way to do that. I would highly recommend it.

I remember awhile back volunteering to help get the Raw space up and going, knocking doors through, tearing up the old stage and clearing up so much crud! I was one of many, and there were folks who did oh-so-much-more than I. However, several things stick out in my mind. Continue reading

A Case of Consent

There was a knock on the door, and I answered it wearing my bathrobe. It was one of my partners, who was coming over for a visit.

He joined me in the bedroom. We sat on the bed talking for a moment, then he started kissing my knee. I mentioned I hadn’t eaten yet, so we headed into the kitchen so I could heat up some leftovers. Continue reading

Member Experience


Logo_Flame_BlackMy first experience with the Center was when I was visiting from Kansas in 2003 and the friend I was staying with brought me to The Wetspot, and more specifically to The Grind. He’d been telling me that it would blow my mind, and he was right! People were so open about what they wanted and who they were – with regards to gender, orientation and sexuality. Even from the start, I was at ease, comfortable even. There was just something so freeing about being where I didn’t have to pretend about who I was and what I enjoyed – I finally felt like I found where I belonged. Continue reading

Big Ideas?

Big Idea Meeting
Tuesday, 7-9
CSPC Raw Space

Have an idea for a new party or event? All of the exciting parties you’ve attended at the Center for Sex Positive Culture were started by our membership! Members come up with the big ideas, form teams, and volunteer to staff the events. Continue reading

Make It Yours

“People are counting on us.  The Center is counting on us.”

Long, long ago (well, 1999) in a galaxy far, far away a young cafe owner stepped into a new world with a rag-tag team of rebels and outlaws. Against all odds, they defeated the empire of repression and conformity to establish a new age of Light and Sex Positivity.  Finally, there was a place where all (over 18) could come together and explore and express who they really were. Though the Dark Side kept sending obstacles and tax forms, and though the insurance would no longer cover candle play, our heroes battled on and gathered many together on the side of All that is Good in the Universe. Continue reading