Too often people conflate Sex, Intimacy and Relationship into one sticky mess. And then they wonder why their lives get so complicated. Nekole and I realized that we needed to take apart these three subjects and that’s why we created our workshop.
In our workshops over the last year, we’ve discovered that everyone has different definitions of these three words. We did separate workshops about all three subjects and the Intimacy and Relationship classes were always full. And then we came to our What Is Sex workshop and we had the smallest attendance of any of our classes.
I’ve been thinking about this and I’ve got several theories as to why that might be. The first theory is that everyone thinks they know what Sex is. They think they don’t need the class. But from the conversations we had during that class and at the other classes, that was obviously not the reason.
The second theory is that Sex is laden with guilt and shame and people just don’t want to talk about it. Now we’re getting somewhere. Sex is a hot button. It’s volatile and scary and no one really wants to admit that they do it (I know, I’m exaggerating; however, it is the one topic that people will giggle uncomfortably about, even those who consider themselves sexually enlightened.) It’s the most challenging of our subjects.
The irony is that of the three, the most misunderstood is Intimacy. It’s kind of a “I know it when I see it” type of encounter. It’s the most conflated with Sex of all three and it’s the one that scares most people the most. It’s the vulnerable part of Sex, Intimacy and Relationship.
Relationships are all around us. They vary in Intimacy and in Sexual encounters and we truly couldn’t exist without them. For me, they bring the most satisfaction. One of our take-aways from the individual workshops was that all of us have one of these three that is more prevalent in our lives. For me, that’s Relationship. For Nekole, it’s Intimacy. I need Relationship more than I need the other two.
What do you need? Join us this weekend for our first Sex, Intimacy and Relationship Intensive and find out. You’ll walk away with all kinds of insights and discoveries.
–Allena Gabosch, Founder of the CSPC, will be teaching this intensive with Nekole Shapiro, author of the EmbodiedBirth curriculum and sex eduator.