(Free advice worth every penny, from Mistress 7)

If you’re dismayed by the lack of in-person dating during social distancing, try to remember that you can still be flirty even when getting within arm’s reach is verboten. If you feel like that sexy person six paces ahead of you in line might just be the person of your dreams, wave until you get their attention (do not go tap them on the shoulder) and try out one of these sexy lines for our strange times:

·       I see you’re shopping for essentials, too. I had no idea this grocery store carries vibrators!

·       I practice safer sex. How do you feel about full-body latex suits and respirators?

·       You have an amazing voice. That’s become *very* important to me lately.

·       I’m into medical play, and your N95 FFR is really doing it for me.

·       Hi! You look nice. Are you wearing a ring under those gloves?

·       I don’t need to get within six feet of you to make you feel amazing.

·       Wanna have some phone sex from within closed cars across the parking lot from each other?

·       You have pretty eyes, and I’m sure there’s a nice smile somewhere under that face mask.

·       How’s your schedule look around June, or whenever we’re allowed to commingle again?

·       Are you COVID-bonded with anybody? Would you like to be?

… and the line which in the past was sometimes considered unattractive:

·       I literally haven’t been out of the house in weeks.

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t respond positively, take heart. They probably won’t recognize you without protective gear, so you might have a chance to try again post-pandemic.