by Emma Atkinson

Welcome back to Consent Corner!  We’re talking with Consent expert Rachel Drake about autonomy and how it relates to great interactions.  I hope you had a chance to think about autonomy (homework from last time) because in Rachel’s thinking it’s about figuring out what you and your partner(s) want for your body, mind, and spirit.

The body connection might mean considering what devices might be brought into play, and the nature of the boundaries you set with respect to them.  It could represent how - and if - you want to be touched.  Safe words or safe signs?  You get to decide.

Honoring your mind could lead you to think about the words that you want to hear in an interaction, or words that ought to be avoided.  Will there be role play, and what roles will we play?  What constitutes a power dynamic, and is it relevant?  How can we interact in ways that enrich us all as much as possible?

What if you’re not sure what you want?  Or, what if part-way through the experience you sense that it’s not quite what you thought it might be and you’re not sure if you still want it?  Good Consent means that you get to pay attention to how you’re feeling and share it in real time with your partner(s).  And, your partner(s) gets to respect your wishes and keep you comfortable, and everyone wins!

How could we honor our spirit?  What might aftercare look like, immediately afterwards and in upcoming days?  It’s highly likely that thorough attention to what our mind and body want will automatically give us what our spirit wants.  And, everyone wins!

Homework:  what would an experience look like that honors you in body, mind, and spirit?  What would it sound like, or taste like, or feel like?

Extra credit:  try out one of your ideas with a friend and get some feedback.  Because, you know you want to!

And, give us feedback at info@thecspc.org.