by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Dearest Readers, 

Can you believe it? We are quickly approaching the anniversary of bringing you a full year of Consent Corner! Emma and Rachel want to keep this corner of the world fresh and interesting for you, so we decided to meet up in person over the weekend to brainstorm and discuss the future of this column. 

We are excited to report that we engaged in some great consent negotiations to be extra safe. After all, we are still in a pandemic and this was the first time seeing each other in person since February of 2020! Informed consent, and what we need to disclose before social interactions is changing all of the time and varies from person to person. We get asked a lot of questions about how to navigate the changing landscape of social interactions. In a nutshell, it’s all about respect. Just like with a safer sex talk, using the 4 Pillars of Consent is super helpful! (In case you need a memory jog the 4 Pillars are: Capacity, Information, Agreement, and Autonomy) 

It’s important to be honest about your capacity,  we have all been through a lot, and it’s okay to not be social at all, renegotiate boundaries or cancel if you find yourself nervous about meeting up.  Share information transparently: your vaccine status, if you have been traveling, social indoors or in crowded spaces, or if you have been exposed to COVID-19.  Also something to consider; what are the COVID-19 protocols for where you are meeting up? Create agreements around where you are comfortable meeting, the level of physical contact, the length of interactions, and mask etiquette. And as far as autonomy goes:  be open to the needs of everyone involved and be compassionate about cancellations.  Being a safe person who accepts “no” gracefully (even when disappointed) is a huge part of what makes interactions truly consensual.    

Homework:  consider how your interactions are evolving in our changing (and challenging!) times.  And, consider posing your questions to us at:  info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel