By Kelly McAllister

Why does the CSPC community matter to me, you ask?

Simply put, this community changed my life.

My community affords me the acceptance and space to live more authentically and to accept myself more readily. I strive to live without pretense in every realm of my life and in many ways, this is easy. Both my self concept and esteem are pretty solid and I know that folks see me through the lens of their perception (thanks to don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements).

However, I had a hard time not judging myself for the things I like, and honestly have liked as far back as my adolescence. Finding the community at the CSPC allowed me to see that not only am I not alone in my kinky predilections, but some of the people who like the same things I do are truly amazing human beings. 

I really don't have many vanilla friends now and those who are, aren't judgemental. This shift allowed me to be more authentic, more of the time. I don't have to separate my sexual life from the other aspects of myself, so it simply integrated, rather than feeling like an isolated part of me. While my sex/kink life is certainly a large part of me, it no longer feels so separate - so siloed. I am simply me, which feels beautiful.

Thank you to everyone in this community with whom I've crossed paths, either for a moment or continuously for years.

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Kelly sits on the CSPC’s working Board of Directors and serves as our HR Director. She welcomes conversations with damn near everyone, and is hard at work recruiting members/volunteers and helping those new to kink develop ways to explore their sexuality safely. She can be reached at kelly@thecspc.org.

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