Frolic Presenter Bios!

Welcome Back Presenter Ms. J!

Classes she will be teaching:

Fireplay 101: C’mon Baby, Light My Fire 

Do you want to learn fireplay instead of just watching it? Ms. J will take you safely from nervous fire novice to enthusiastic pyromaniac. In this class you will watch, learn, and (with time permitting) try a tiny bit of hands-on fireplay yourself.
Ms. J begins with an explanation of general preparation and fire safety for you, your bottom, and your venue. Then construction and fire kit contents. Learn to warm up your fire bottom by starting small and increasing the amount of flame to get your bottom’s endorphins flowing. Tips for bottoms will include communicating with your top, a breathing technique to process the sensations, and aftercare for the bottom.  
Come on, try it, become one of Ms. J’s baby fire-dragons!

Fireplay 301: The Firestorm 

So, you learned basic fireplay, and now you want to learn those bigger, better, badder fire techniques. Ms. J will teach you how to use the fire glove, play with mousse, use flash cotton, play with butane bubbles, and throw a fireball. Each of these topics will include their own specific safety tips and techniques. As time permits, a hands-on portion will be included. 

It is not required that you attend the Intro to Fire class, but if you are new to any type of fireplay, it is highly suggested that you attend it, as safety tips in the advanced class build upon safety learned in the Intro class. 

Sensual Savagery

A delicate brush of the hand up the breast...slowly traversing up the neck...pausing slightly to caress the ear...then a formidable fist full of hair...the hushed whisper “I’ma fuck you up…while your partner just watches and does nothing!” The slow retreat of the hand as though this interaction was a sensual and intimate exchange between you two.

The juxtaposition of soft and sensual with the sadistic will leave your partner’s head swooning. Mixing massage with pressure points; the bump-and-grind for a tease of sexual intimacy on their leg with a knee to the genitalia; passionate kisses with a nip to the lip; a sweet hug with the deprivation of air will leave them in a daze. This class is a delightful compilation of rough body play, pressure points, and sexual intimacy directly appealing to any connection and reaction junkies. Come play with Ms. J to discuss and see how to make your inner Sensual Sadist flourish.

Devil’s Fire / Micro-branding / Cell Popping

What is Devil’s Fire, microbranding, cell popping, and body modification? Are they the same or are they different? Does a rose by any other name still smell as sweet? Does that metal by any other name still burn as fiercely???

Ms. J will discuss tools and fuels, negotiation, techniques, safety, and aftercare. Is your scene about creating a design or giving them a floaty endorphin high? You will learn how to make your design and transfer it to your bottom. A demo portion will be included so you can see this type of play in action. 

Ms. J - BIO

Ms. J (she/her) identifies as the Happy Bouncy Sadist, Nana-Dragon pyromaniac, Agent of Chaos, Mama Bear to many, Connection Junkie, Purveyor of bruise poking, a bus-driving RACK playing mostly toppy kinda girl, and a blissfully married monogamish human. 

Although best known for her kinky fireplay passion, Ms. J also enjoys rough body play coupled with soft and gentle contact for that ultimate mind fuck in impact play, blade play with a sharp and shiny to slice off your clothes, the sticky sloppy wet sensations of food play, and drive-by dork play. Want to make her day — ask her to slap you!

Finding Freedom in Fear: Part 2

By Turtle 

Read Part 1 HERE.

Part 2 will cover techniques and other referential possibilities that you can utilize to diminish the fear effect over time.

• Techniques: 4Rs and 3Cs

• Foods

• Over the Counter: always do your own research and consult your physician 

• Skills

• Apps

The four Rs of Resilience:

1. Rest - sleep

2. Relaxation - stress relief

3. Replenishment - diet

4. Release - exercise

Following these well-documented ideas can help set the stage (your body and mind) for successful scenes, relationships, and a fantastic life.

It's easier to be in control of your “self” if you set yourself up for success. Get adequate sleep by practicing good sleep hygiene. Most of your REM cycles are toward the end of your sleeping cycle. Make sure the last part of your sleep period is undisturbed. If you feel your body start to be reactive, immediately start using calming techniques. 

Relax doing something you really enjoy. If you can't do your favorite hobby, for example,, then use a positive memory of it to begin quieting your mind. Imagine yourself running or playing the flute, painting, or riding a motorcycle, whatever you love.

Everyone knows how important it is to eat properly. However, many are stuck in the old food pyramid taught in elementary school. The incredible amount of research available can be overwhelming. Start by reviewing the basics or talk to a licensed nutritionist. Sometimes this may mean preparing healthy meals for the next day for a special playdate later in the evening. 

Exercise in whatever manner you can. Exercise can consist of meditation and envisioning yourself doing something athletic that you enjoy. People will often make excuses because they don't have the time to get out and do their preferred activity. Or they might have a difficult diagnosis that interferes with the ability to exercise. So, we need to do what we can mentally. This might be sitting in one place and clenching your toes, then slowly moving up your body, squeezing and relaxing all the muscles as you go. You are checking in with yourself. The more you do this, the more cognizant of your internal landscape you will become and it will help you move forward to remaining healthy as you get older.

The three Cs of handling anxiety:

1. Calm Techniques - calm your body

2. Coping Strategies - correct your thinking

3. Communication Skills - confront your fears

The three Cs are the next step to building resilience by handling how you respond to your experience. 

We all have moments of “cognitive distortion.” This is often displayed by assumptions that cause us to jump to conclusions using faulty logic and then overthinking by chasing the idea around and around and around in our heads.

This can happen by assuming the “what” others think of us or the “why” others did something a certain way. It ramps up our anxiety and releases the hormones that raise our blood pressure and breathing rate. Then, should we apply that anxiety to whatever event or thing we are nervous about in the first place, the wheels come off our ability to reason. We become prey in our lizard brain, running from an apocalypse. 

Calming your body can be done with a wide variety of techniques ranging from rhythmic breathing to visualization to simply being present at the moment. The internet, your friends and family, and the doctor will all have ideas for you. Try out many different techniques and keep those that work best for you personally!

Coping strategies can be doing a stable repetition of activities that take your brain “offline” from the rat race. This can be as simple as reading, writing, having a slow cup of tea, a long bath, gaming…anything that allows your gray matter to shift gears daily. These also include more advanced ideas such as personal or group therapy, support groups, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

The more advanced technique discussed above can also be utilized to confront your fears, reframe what you are experiencing, and communicate your needs both to others and yourself. It's healthy to question yourself and challenge your thoughts. Some patterns are ingrained in us as children and this is the best way to make choices for yourself versus just rewriting someone else's history. Accept your anxiety and ask yourself what it is trying to tell you. Perhaps something you learned by rote as a child is irritating your current self because you have a core belief that needs to be questioned and refrained.

Brain Foods: 

Just a short list of foods that have been shown to help focus and mental resilience. Which ones do you enjoy?

Extra dark chocolate, leafy greens, broccoli, avocados, green tea, chia or flax seeds, beans and lentils, bananas, honey, eggs, peanuts/natural peanut butter

Over the Counter/Natural Remedies: (always do your own research and consult your physician)

• B-9 & B-12 (to help metabolize serotonin)

• 5-HTP (for focus)

• CBD

• Kava kava

• Chamomile 

• Lavender

• Omega-3 fatty acids

• Folic Acid

• L-theanine

• Magnesium 

• Ashwagandha

• Valerian root

• Vitamin D

Skills

1. Meditation

2. Music

3. Relaxation Techniques

4. Breathing - breathe through the panic

5. Avoid stimulants like coffee, alcohol, caffeine, energy drinks

6. Exercise

7. Share your feelings in a safe atmosphere 

8. Challenge yourself for growth (face your fears, imagine the worst and rewrite the possibilities, look at real documented evidence to apply against fearful thoughts, exposure therapy)

9. Take time out and reward yourself.

10. Go back to the basics of living. Stick to a routine.

11. Remind yourself of ways to stay safe. Have a plan.

12. Learn to be assertive and build your self-esteem.

13. Don't try to be “perfect.” It's a false illusion. Be yourself! 

14. Have fun!

Apps

Apps for your phone and computer can help develop resilience, expand your horizons, unlock personal growth, and increase your well-being and fulfillment. Do your own research and use one that actually stimulates your mind so that you'll use it effectively. 

Finding Freedom In Fear, Part 1

by Turtle

Trigger Warning: The following article discusses cutting, edge play, and blood play.

Fear is one of the basics of the human experience. People argue whether it's physical or emotional, or whether both feed off of each other to create a more intense experience. There's also quite a bit of confusion for non-psychology professionals about where anxiety ends and fear starts.

[TW: Edge Play (cutting)] 

Feel free to skip ahead to the next section. 

I'm remembering my first *attempt* at a cutting scene. My owner, at the time, did not prepare me for what was to follow. He hung up plastic, but I was sitting in my required pre-scene pose and couldn't see what was being set up. When I was told to stand, I could see a medical setup and scalpels. 

I froze. I didn't blink. I didn't inhale or exhale until prodded to take my position standing at the cross. 

“Breathe,” he whispered in my ear. He touched me firmly to calm me, holding my shoulders square. 

I squeezed my eyes shut. My pulse accelerated like a bomb in my chest. I fought to maintain my breathing, focusing on the very act itself. The world narrowed to a cataclysmic single point. I heard him snap on gloves. The fire of the scalpel cut lightly on my upper back. I felt a drop of warm blood drip slowly, rolling in an infinitely micro motion down my spine. I learned what the word “swoon” means. My view of the world tilted, warped like looking through water. The ground upended. I was ignominiously on my ass on the plastic, cold concrete sharp on my skin. 

He was disappointed but realized I needed different tactics. Aftercare was imminent. 

On another day, we sat in his man cave. He laid out all his tools for the scene. He explained how they were used. The dynamics of skin and choosing patterns as well as what I can expect to experience. 

Another day, I watched him do several small cuttings on other people. I assisted by handing him tools and caring for the bottom. 

Finally, he told me that we'd be doing a cutting scene the following week. I was assigned to think up every dire situation and try to imagine it. It's rather difficult. (Understatement!) Lastly, on that fateful day, he had me do the scene setup. Instead of standing, I sat backwards in a chair. I chose two small designs and traced them on tattoo paper, a triquetra and a pentagram. The scene was an exponentially divergent intimacy in comparison to my previous attempt. 

The decorative cuttings were refreshed several times over two years. They can still be seen as faint scars on the back of each shoulder. 

I've come to love blood play. 

I'm certainly a long way down the road from passing out.

[END TW]

Anxiety and fear are reactions to events and objects — real or imagined — that a human is triggered by. Things we sense as a threat to ourselves psychologically, emotionally, or physically. They trigger our “lizard brain” to dust off our survival instincts. Most will act to protect themselves and what they care for in whatever manner that they can, no matter how extreme it appears to other viewers. Fear trips into phobia when it alters our normal responses and interferes with life. 

You are an entire being. Everything you experience affects the rest of your reality. Whether it’s anxiety built up due to a big, stressful event (e.g., a death, a wedding, moving) or a bunch of smaller issues (e.g., being late from work, low sleep, poor diet, high anticipation), the stockpile of stress can escalate high anxiety to a state of pure fear when you enter a new BDSM or sexual experience. You become much more sensitive to upsetting your internal weathervane. 

Your inner self can be operated with the awareness of how the dominoes fall so you can prepare to avoid it. Physically, your heart rate and blood pressure quicken. This is due to the amygdala early warning system alerting your body to prepare to “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn,” flooding your body with hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. If you are paying attention, you can feel the flush like a wave crashing through your body. The emotions you are feeling at that instant dictate how you react to the hormones; pleasure or fear. 

NOTE: I'll tell you how to hijack your brain for pleasure later. 

Some of your brain will short out, while the rest takes off like a Ferrari in the European Grand Prix. Your reasoning is offline and rationalizing is now impaired. 404 Error! 

Determining what is real and NOT real goes out the window. Although many people are still convinced they are acting rationally, it's clear their brain chemistry is altered. 

People who enjoy horror movies or who have harnessed their fears can learn to wait out the hormone flush rush to experience the high of leftover dopamine once the fear subsides. Dopamine elicits pleasure. It's called the excitation-transfer process. It is one of the reasons people are drawn to BDSM and new sexual proclivities.

How to deal with high anxiety and fear in the moment. 

1. Miscount. Ask your partner to have you repeat after them. Then, they just miscount numbers. Example: 43, 72, 12, 55, 1. It interrupts your brain pattern. 

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 method. 

1. Name five things you can see. 

2. Name four things you can touch.

3. Name three things you can hear. 

4. Name two things you can smell.

5. Name one thing you can taste.

3. The 3-3-3 method is similar. 

1. Name three things you can hear.

2. Name three things you can see. 

3. Name three different body parts. 

4. Relaxation Technique: Shrug your shoulders up to your ears and hold for a few seconds. Then, drop them back to their normal position.

5. Breathing to four counts. 

1. Count to four slowly as you breathe IN through your nose. 

2. Count to four as you breathe OUT through your mouth. 

6. “Squirrel!” Distract yourself with your go-to giggle today. I saw a video of a dog who learned to catch the same poor mole over and over for his treat fix. Then, he taught his doggy friends. Someone just saying “moles for dog treats” will set me to internal giggle. 

Lastly, how to hijack your own brain! 

This requires practice but is well worth it. Choose a memory of true joy, a huge moment of transformative joy. I have a short list of go-to best hits. My best friend's memory is of getting married. He turns instantly into a big, happy, romantic goof! I love it! 

You will imagine it fully, using all your senses. Full senses: smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, see it. Be in that moment! If it was sunny, feel the sun on your skin. Practice it randomly several times a day until you can instantly be there in your mind. Then, when you feel that hormone flush, let yourself be in that joyful moment and your brain will switch the gear from fear to pleasure. It takes practice, but is well worth the effort! Neuroplasticity for the win!

Sex Trivia Answers - 12-7-2023

Hello you smart, sexy humans!

As promised, here are the answers for the sex trivia that we ran in the November 16 issue. A huge thanks to our trivia masters, Naomi Price-Lazarus and Breona Mendoza! We can't wait to see what questions you bring us next time. And a friendly reminder to join the Papaya Project for in-person sex trivia on December 13th!

Question #1

All of these were common treatments for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) during ancient times EXCEPT?

A. Applying fresh ginger to the anus or vagina

Question #2

Which of the following is NOT a kinky behavior done by these deep sea creatures?

D. Octopus males enjoy asphyxiation during mating

Question #3

What percent of partnered LGBTQ adults said they met their match using online dating?

C. 24%

Question #4

What hand motion stimulates both the G-spot and the P-spot?

Come-hither motion

Question #5

At what age can humans start experiencing erections?

A. In utero

The winner is…

Unfortunately, nobody got all the answers correct! (It's harder than it seems, isn't it?) But that just means there will be another opportunity for prizes next time! Sex trivia runs in the second newsletter each month, so you'll have another chance starting on December 21. Keep it smart and sexy!

If you have any questions or comments, please contact Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org.

Sex Trivia 11-16-23

Get ready to spice up your inbox with our new Sex Trivia segment! We're here to tickle your brain with some tantalizing intellectual treats. In each biweekly newsletter, we'll erect your curiosity with some sizzling trivia questions. The catch? You'll have to wait until the next newsletter for us to announce the winner! “I see you shiver with antici…pation!” The more you play, the more chances you have to score some fabulous prizes down the road. Enjoy playing!

Question #1

All of these were common treatments for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) during ancient times EXCEPT?

A. Applying fresh ginger to the anus or vagina

B. Douching or washing genitals in oil

C. Cauterizing (burning) herpes sores with a hot iron

D. Using mercury for the treatment of syphilis or gonorrhea

Question #2

Which of the following is NOT a kinky behavior done by these deep sea creatures?

A. Lobsters consider their urine a love potion

B. Sharks give love bites during mating

C. Mobula rays do belly flops to impress their mates

D. Octopus males enjoy asphyxiation during mating

Question #3

What percent of partnered LGBTQ adults said they met their match using online dating?

A. 2%

B. 9%

C. 24%

D. 48%

Question #4

What hand motion stimulates both the G-spot and the P-spot? Write in your answer.

Question #5

At what age can humans start experiencing erections?

A. In utero

B. 3-5 years old

C. 8-10 years old

D. 13-15 years old

Bonus!

What questions do YOU have about sex? Is there anything you're itching to know more about?

Submit your responses via our Google form HERE!

SEX TRIVIA LOGO BY PAPAYA PROJECT ORG

If anyone wants to try their hand at the full sex trivia, the next event is happening at Stoup Brewing in Capitol Hill on December 13! Buy tickets HERE! Sex Trivia began in 2022 as a way to provide a fun space to learn about sex, and to support comprehensive and queer-centered sexuality education. A portion of each ticket will be donated to a selected nonprofit organization whose mission aligns with our values of access, equity, and reproductive justice.

Prize

The first person to submit their response and answer all questions correctly will win two tickets to a future Sex Trivia night at Stoup Brewing on Capitol Hill. Winner will be announced in our December 7 newsletter.

Who are our brilliant trivia masters?

Naomi Price-Lazarus (she/her) is a sexuality educator, event facilitator, and dance party host. Naomi is the Founder of Papaya Project, a Seattle-based non-profit organization that offers comprehensive sexuality education and community-building events to youth and adults. With a queer-centered and pleasure-focused approach, Papaya Project aims to destigmatize and expand understandings of identity, sexuality, bodily autonomy, and pleasure. Naomi also creates and sells art that celebrates sexual anatomy and pleasure (@PapayaProjectOrg). Naomi spends her free time playing sports, baking cookies, and traveling around the world.

Breona Mendoza (she/her) is a queer sex educator, sex therapist, author, and avid supporter of self-love in all respects of the word. Her book, Clitaurus Chronicles, is a sex education story that uses art and metaphor to convey important lessons around communication, consent, and pleasure. She owns and operates a therapy practice called Colorful Therapy where she works with youth and adults to build relationships skills, self-love, and liberation. She spends the rest of her time cultivating a sex-positive community, eating absurd amounts of peanut butter, finding excuses to play dress up, and contemplating ingenious ways to empower people to become more comfortable and loving with their parts. Follow her @ClitaurusChronicles.

Honor system

We know that Google is a convenient and helpful tool, but please look upon this as an intellectual challenge; something fun and educational to help us learn and grow within the sex-positive and kink communities. Please don't look up the answers and respond simply to win stuff.

If you have any questions, please contact Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org.

Sex Trivia Answers

Hello you smart, sexy humans!

As promised, here are the answers for the sex trivia that we ran in the October 19 issue. A huge thanks to our trivia masters, Naomi Price-Lazarus and Breona Mendoza! We can't wait to see what questions you bring us next time.

Question #1

Oil-based lubes can be used for all of the following things EXCEPT?

B. Latex barriers (most condoms and safer-sex barriers)

Question #2

The first female condoms, reputed to have been used over 2,000 years ago in Ancient Greece, were made of what?

C. Goat's bladder

Question #3

Which of the following are aphrodisiacs?

E. All of the above (artichokes, chocolate, and chili peppers)

Question #4

What is the record number of orgasms in one hour?

D. 138

*Sylvia Konior broke the world record of most orgasms in 1 hour with 138 orgasms in total. During each orgasm a photo was made of the facial expression. The work was completely created by the artist herself. You can find the series of photos on LensCulture.

Question #5

Which of these animals have sex for pleasure (you can choose multiple)?

A. Bonobos

B. Rhinos

D. Penguins

The winner is…

Unfortunately, nobody got all the answers correct! (It's harder than it seems, isn't it?) But that just means there will be another opportunity for prizes next time! Sex trivia runs in the second newsletter each month, so you'll have another chance starting on November 16. Keep it smart and sexy!

If you have any questions or comments, please contact Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org.

Sex Trivia 10-19-23

Get ready to spice up your inbox with our new Sex Trivia segment! We're here to tickle your brain with some tantalizing intellectual treats. In each biweekly newsletter, we'll erect your curiosity with some sizzling trivia questions. The catch? You'll have to wait until the next newsletter for us to announce the winner! “I see you shiver with antici…pation!” The more you play, the more chances you have to score some fabulous prizes down the road. Enjoy playing!

Question #1

Oil-based lubes can be used for all of the following things EXCEPT?

A. Pure silicone-based sex toys

B. Latex barriers (most condoms and safer-sex barriers)

C. Bare bodies without contraceptives/barriers/sex toys

D. Toys with metal, glass, or ceramic

Question #2

The first female condoms, reputed to have been used over 2,000 years ago in Ancient Greece, were made of what?

A. Snake skin

B. Lamb intestine

C. Goat's bladder

D. Seaweed

Question #3

Which of the following are aphrodisiacs?

A. Artichokes

B. Chocolate

C. Chili peppers

D. A and B

E. All of the above

Question #4

What is the record number of orgasms in one hour?

A. 7

B. 32

C. 67

D. 138

Question #5

Which of these animals have sex for pleasure (you can choose multiple)?

A. Bonobos

B. Rhinos

C. Crows

D. Penguins

E. Salmon

Bonus!

What questions do YOU have about sex? Is there anything you're itching to know more about?

Submit your trivia responses via our Google form here!

Prize

The first person to submit their response and answer all questions correctly will win two tickets to a future “Sex Trivia Night” at Stoup Brewing on Capitol Hill. Winner will be announced in the subsequent newsletter.

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

7:00 PM - 9:00 PM

If anyone wants to try their hand at the full sex trivia, the next event is happening at Stoup Brewing in Capitol Hill on November 1! Buy tickets HERE! Sex Trivia began in 2022 as a way to provide a fun space to learn about sex, and to support comprehensive and queer-centered sexuality education. A portion of each ticket will be donated to a selected nonprofit organization whose mission aligns with our values of access, equity, and reproductive justice.

Who are our brilliant trivia masters?

Naomi Price-Lazarus (she/her) is a sexuality educator, event facilitator, and dance party host. Naomi is the Founder of Papaya Project, a Seattle-based non-profit organization that offers comprehensive sexuality education and community-building events to youth and adults. With a queer-centered and pleasure-focused approach, Papaya Project aims to destigmatize and expand understandings of identity, sexuality, bodily autonomy, and pleasure. Naomi also creates and sells art that celebrates sexual anatomy and pleasure (@PapayaProjectOrg). Naomi spends her free time playing sports, baking cookies, and traveling around the world.

Breona Mendoza (she/her) is a queer sex educator, sex therapist, author, and avid supporter of self-love in all respects of the word. Her book, Clitaurus Chronicles, is a sex education story that uses art and metaphor to convey important lessons around communication, consent, and pleasure. She owns and operates a therapy practice called Colorful Therapy where she works with youth and adults to build relationships skills, self-love, and liberation. She spends the rest of her time cultivating a sex-positive community, eating absurd amounts of peanut butter, finding excuses to play dress up, and contemplating ingenious ways to empower people to become more comfortable and loving with their parts. Follow her @ClitaurusChronicles.

Honor system

We know that Google is a convenient and helpful tool, but please look upon this as an intellectual challenge; something fun and educational to help us learn and grow within the sex-positive and kink communities. Please don't look up the answers and respond simply to win stuff.

If you have any questions, please contact Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org.