Consent Corner 1.20

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers!  

Pride month is almost upon us, so it’s time to get your freak flag out of wherever it happens to be, and get it ready to proudly fly.  The LGBTQIA+ flag is big enough to represent all of us in all of our varied splendor.  

We’d long thought that pride and humility were at opposing ends of some sort of spectrum.  Remember the expression “pride goes before a fall”?  That kind of pride seems boastful, self-centered, and apt to lead a rude awakening.  

We now believe that pride and humility are lovely together.  We’re imagining them all lubed up and commingling in joyous harmony.  Is it getting hot in here?  Whew!  Okay, we’re back.

Before we elucidate the thought, here’s a quick note:  humility is not the same thing as humiliation.  Humiliation is thinking less of yourself (I’m ashamed of how long it took to make this salad) and humility is thinking of yourself less (I wonder what she thinks of this salad?).  

Pride month reminds us to joyously appreciate ourselves for the wondrous beings that we are.  And, with humility, we can help others do the same.  Doesn’t that sound like fun? 

One of the things that Pride month brings up is self-acceptance. We would like to invite and challenge you for Pride this year to think about the following: What does self-acceptance mean to you in your own life? Have you consented to be yourself? Do you need more information about how you land on the beautiful spectrum of orientation possibilities, be it sexual attraction, relationship dynamics, or kinks? 

With good consent, you allow you to be yourself and your partner(s) to be themselves.  Doesn’t that sound like fun, too?  

Feeling curious?  We give our consent for you to email us at:  info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other “ - Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.19

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers!  Can you believe it’s Spring?  Can Summer be far behind?  

Earth Day is coming up and it’s a good time to think about respect.  Consent is about respecting yourself and others, and Earth Day reminds us that we need to respect the planet as well.  We’ve only got one planet, and there’s no spare planet we can move to if this one becomes unhealthy.  Do you know those people who look different from you and speak a different language?  They’re your neighbors.  We’re all neighbors on this planet, so we have to get along with each other.

We’re officially promoting the concept of respect as a guiding principle in being a good neighbor.  Respect is much more than tolerance or acceptance.  It’s about appreciating what makes you and your neighbor unique and special, and looking for ways to build stronger connections with each other.  Building these connections makes us all more aware, more informed, and once we understand each other we’re more willing to help one another.

Here’s a secret that you might already know:  Helping others gives you far more in return for what you give.  Maybe there’s more you can do to help others, with your myriad skills and abilities, than you’re already doing.  The CSPC, for example, would love to see you at a party, munch, meeting, or other event. We’re under new management - come check us out!  

Homework:  In honor of Earth Day, consider a way to show your respect for the Earth and your neighbors on it, and give it a whirl.  We think you’ll be glad you did.  

Got respectful thoughts for us?  Share them at info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted 

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.18

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers! Spring is here, the days are getting longer, and hope is in the air.

And, happy April Fool’s Day!  It reminds us of a wonderful tarot card, and if you guessed the Fool, you’d be correct.  The Fool is often depicted as walking along, seemingly oblivious to their physical surroundings and about to step from solid ground into the air.  In the tarot, the Fool represents new beginnings, opportunity, and potential.  It symbolizes a first step on life’s journey.

We’re all about creating a consent framework that gives you the opportunity for a beautiful and love-filled life.  So, take some to ponder how the Fool’s spirit of potential can enrich your relationships.  Remember that everybody plays the fool sometimes.  And, there’s no exception to the rule.

Feeling foolish? We’d love to hear about it at: info@thecspc.org. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.17

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers! Spring is almost here and there’s an almost visible hope in the air. Can you feel it? Can the reopening of the CSPC be far behind?

A local nonprofit organization that sponsors an annual kinky camping event - The Gathering Northwest - recently hosted a discussion with folks representing local venues about what a post-pandemic reopening might look like. Maybe you’ve visited The Streamhouse or Kitsap Aces, or attended The Gathering NW or Leather Reign. Representatives of these groups talked about what precautions they might take upon reopening, and they pondered requiring proof of vaccination, social distancing, and masks. Everyone who holds a leadership position said that they want to keep you as safe as possible. But we need your help in being mindful of consent, which includes being transparent in sharing information and knowing your own capacity to uphold your autonomy and the autonomy of others. That way your sexy self can visit these events again and again! 

What seemed clear is that there are a lot more questions than answers, and there are going to be a lot more conversations about risk-sharing. You are responsible for you and for giving your consent. You want to be safe and to minimize the risk of something bad happening. The venue/party/conference wants you to be safe, too. They want your visit to be one you’ll remember with a smile. 

When you attend a party/event/happening, you give your consent to it as it is. What advice can we offer you? We’re so glad you asked. Get your documentation together for tests, shots, etc. Read what you’re signing. Ask questions. Get clarification if you’re puzzled. And, trust your gut, or at least respect what its intuition is trying to tell you. 

Your gut is probably reminding you how good it felt to be in the company of kindred spirits. Thank you for doing your part to build the community we all want. 

Questions? Hit us up at: info@thecspc.org. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel 

Consent Corner 1.16

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers, and welcome back to the cuddliest Corner.  We’ve missed you terribly!  Stay sexy until we can be with each other in person:  safely, lawfully, and with the utmost enthusiastic consent.

Our friends in the European Union passed a law that goes into effect soon and it’s being called The Right to Repair.  If you’re making large consumer products - like, for example, refrigerators - you have to make them repairable.  You have to sell parts, make a manual available, and allow folks to open it up and work on it.  

To us, it’s a reminder to care for each other as best we can, and to think about fixing rather than tossing aside.  People are with us for a time, and it may be time to put a particular relationship aside.  You have the right to remove your consent and end a relationship. But, consider that you also have the right to repair it.

You may choose not to exercise that right.  You may be unsuccessful in making suitable repairs.  Or, the repairs may work out even better than you could have imagined.  

Repairing rather than trashing is respectful.  It promotes the long-term sustainability of the planet, the community, the CSPC, and our relations with each other.  Consider having a conversation about consent that supports you in mind, body, and soul.  Remember gratitude for what others have offered you.  With gratitude, enough becomes a feast.  We’re most grateful for your continuing support.

Got fan mail for us flounders?  Send it to info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.15

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers!  Welcome back to the place to talk about all things consent-related.  We’re here to answer your questions in a friendly, non-judgmental way.  

It’s a new year, and it might be a good time to consider updating your consent framework(s).  You don’t necessarily have to, but it might be worth considering.

In the previous column, we took a side trip into what we can do when faced with new information.  Something we thought was true turns out to not be true.  Our understanding of a situation turns out to differ from a partner’s understanding of it.  You thought they loved it when you (fill in the blank) and it turns out they’re not as thrilled as you imagined.  

When we get new information, we update our knowledge base.  For example, you may experience the addition of a new partner into your relationship(s) - either by your choice or another’s choice.  Or, health issues may arise in relationships.  Things are different, and these changes will probably affect the nature of your interactions, either for a while or from here on out.

How can we create a consent framework that promotes each other in body, mind, and spirit?  We’re glad you asked.  This might be a good time to look through previous Consent Corner columns and review what you’ve learned so far.  

It might also be a good time to ask us a question at info@thecspc.org.  And, stay tuned because there’s lots more to come in the Corner that will help you continually improve consent frameworks.  

“Be excellent to each other.”  Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.”  Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.14

by Emma Atkinson

Hello lovely readers!  Can you believe it’s February already?  We hope 2021 is going well for you.  Spoiler alert:  it’s not so much about consent this time and I’m flying solo.

Last time we talked about change and its myriad challenges.  I’ve just discovered that one of my favorite concepts about change is technically incorrect. Maybe you’re more well-informed about this than I am.  That’s likely true in many subject areas.  Just in case you’re not, here’s what I’ve recently learned.

Apparently the Chinese character for the word for “crisis” (or “change”) does not consist of the characters for the words “danger” and “opportunity”.  John F. Kennedy is credited with creating this concept and it has become a truth in much of the Western world.

No less an authority than Wikipedia debunks this idea, and other Internet sources call it Pollyanaish.  These sources note that the idea comes from misinterpreting the characters as they’re written.

Please feel free to consider me a Pollyanna.  There is a gift in every situation.  Sometimes you have to wait a while to see that gift.  Sometimes it may seem like ages until you see that gift.  Years ago I was denied tenure at a prominent East Coast university.  At the time, it seemed like the worst thing that could possibly have happened.  Today, it’s a gift.  I wouldn’t be here in the spectacular Pacific Northwest and I wouldn’t know you.

Sometimes you have to look hard to see a valuable lesson in adversity.  Sometimes you have to decide to laugh instead of cry.

Feel free to maintain a grateful attitude in life, just because.  And, feel free to share your thoughts at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

Consent Corner 1.13

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers!  We hope your year is going well.  As for us, so far so good. 

There’s change in the air all around us and it might be a good time to check in with loved ones you haven’t spoken with in a while.  Folks like us in traditionally marginalized communities - LGBTQ+, kink-friendly, BIPOC, etc., etc. - are noticing increasing signs of political division, not only at the national level but where they work and where they call home.  

Those of us fortunate enough to live in the Pacific Northwest aren’t seeing as much evidence of unrest as other areas.  We know that folks around here tend to be open and accepting, which is one reason both of us choose to live here.

Not all communities can say the same.  Not all areas seem to be making their neighbors feel wanted.

One of our core tenets at the CSPC is that you’re wanted here.  So long as you’re respectful of others, you’re welcome here.

It’s OK to not be OK right now.  It’s OK to ask for help.  Check in with loved ones, near and far.  Are they OK?  Can I offer a compassionate ear?  Am I OK?  Love and nurture yourself and you’ll find the compassion to love and nurture your loved ones.

There’s a t-shirt we love that reads “Change is good - You go first.” Change is hard and scary.  Even a good change - one you’ve been anticipating - can be challenging.  So, check in with your people.  Please, and thank you.

Want to check in with us? We’re at: info@thecspc.org.

Consent Corner 1.12

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers and happy 2021!  We hope you had the best possible holiday season, given the challenging pandemic circumstances.  

We thought we’d offer some resolutions to keep in mind for the upcoming year.  As ever, please take what suits you and leave the rest.

• I’ll celebrate more things - because, well, why not?

• I’ll remember to be grateful more often - ditto.

• I’ll honor myself in body, mind, and spirit - that’s the essence of consent. 

• I’ll continue to practice good consent in all of my interactions - because you know that practice makes things better.

• I’ll continue to check out what’s going on in Consent Corner - okay, it’s shameless self-promotion, but you know you want to!

• I’ll try to give others the benefit of the doubt when I can - that’s a key message in Malcolm Gladwell’s new book “Talking to Strangers”, because we don’t always know what others are thinking or feeling.

• I’ll step up where I can to help build stronger communities - the CSPC can benefit from your wisdom, love, and skills.  Get more involved and help build the kind of community you want in your life!  

Got some great resolutions you want to share?  Got some feedback?  Send it to:  info@thecspc.org.