Leadership Spotlight: Meet Jadzia!

This is the nineteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our super-volunteer and Party Co-Champion of the All In! Pan Party (coming next Friday, May 27!) and LaQueer, Jadzia Quacks.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Jadzia Quacks

  • Pronouns:

    • She/They

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • Trans and Queer for gender and orientation. Kinkster is the best one word for my Kink and bdsm roles, though I am always exploring, always questioning. 

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • I became a member in 2018 

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • I had some experience with kink before before coming out as Trans and Queer, and before moving to Seattle, so I wanted to find play partners and community. More so I wanted to explore what sex, intimacy, and kink meant to me as a person who is Queer and Trans. I came to the Center for Sex Positive Culture because it advertised itself as a space that was body pody positive, sex positive, and inclusive of all gender expressions. I was not disappointed.

    • I enjoy impact play as a top or bottom. I like to push (firmly but slowly) at the edges of my comfort zone in regards to sex and intimacy. I also get off on helping others to explore their own understandings of those topics.

  • Email/title/role:

    • As Co-Champion of LaQueer and All In! I can be reached at LaQueer@thecspc.org or Allin@thecspc.org. I don’t have an official title with the Center, but I have at one time or another covered every position at an in-person event. Along with some others, I Champion LaQueer and the All In! Pan Party. I also co-host the Queer discussion group that meets online.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • I started volunteering as a way to get into parties for free. It also gave me a reason to stand around and not feel awkward for standing around. I kept trying different roles as a way to push at the edges of my comfort zone and force myself to have some responsibility and accountability. When Sadie and Sakari were stepping back from hosting the All In! Pan Party, I took over co-Championing duties with another volunteer. Out of a need to secure an EC for that party, I took the steps to become certified for that role. Then when LaQueer was getting started again, people who were interested reached out to me and we made the party happen. Other than getting in for free, I like to volunteer because I like to help others have a space to explore as I did; and because I have never been the only Trans person at a CSPC party, I wanted to reinforce that visibility for myself and others. 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • LaQueer and All In! were my favorites before I became a lead in making them happen, and they still are. I love Fresh Meet because I am a Tasting Top there, and that party gives me the chance to help introduce new people to impact play as well as consent and negotiation. I have a lot of fun at Myself! and Power Play Mixed Tape as well. 

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • Video editing/graphic design.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Try to spend time with friends, build community, hunt for pervertables, learn more about kinky stuff. 

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I live with two roommates and one cat, who occasionally lets me pet him.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I was born 9 months and 1 day after my parents were married.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks:  

    • I love impact play, topping or bottoming. I find anyone who owns themselves to be sexy. I have only encountered a few things that squick me out, but I wonder if they will continue to do so over time.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • I just hope we keep the spreading the ideas of sex positivity, body positivity and consent culture, in whatever situation we find ourselves. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Spend some time deciding on what you want, and what is possible. Determine your boundaries and what zones of comfort exist around those boundaries. Don’t ever forget you have the ability to stop doing what you are doing. 

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • I think we need to define and maintain healthy boundaries, within ourselves and with others. I believe that doing that promotes healthy communities where we together or as individuals can be our true selves. 

Huge gratitude from the CSPC to Jadzia and our other volunteers! Interested in supporting your CSPC community by joining in the volunteer action? You can learn more and begin the volunteering process with the online orientation at https://thecspc.org/volunteering.

Leadership Spotlight: Fleur Bellerose

This is the eighteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Discord Coordinator and Party Champion of Kinderkritters: Wired (an online ageplay/petplay event coming May 28!), Fleur Bellerose.

  • Name and/or scene name:

Fleur Bellerose

  • Pronouns:

She/they

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

I’m a polyamorous, panromantic, demisexual, nerdy, transgender demigirl. I’m a collective of personalities (DID) working together in a single body. I am the matriarch of House Bellerose. In kink scenes, I’m mainly an ageplaying switch, but I often have big Mommy domme vibes.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

I began volunteering in May 2021. After moving to Washington in the middle of a pandemic, the CSPC has provided opportunities and spaces that I would never have thought possible.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

Originally, what brought me to the CSPC was its events. Prior to Covid, I was hosting ageplay events in Michigan, and when I heard about Fucking Precious and The Sandbox I saw an opportunity to volunteer and perhaps even to educate my local community while I follow the science behind ageplay and age regression. Like many ageplayers and regressors, my interests in these topics began long ago, though I only began including this side of myself in relationship dynamics in 2016. I couldn’t be happier with that decision.

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

You can reach me at discordcoordinator@thecspc.org. I’m currently acting as the Discord Coordinator, which means I run the CSPC’s Discord server and oversee everything that goes on there while providing additional organizational tools to its volunteers and board members, as well as a welcoming social media platform to its volunteers and any interested members.

  • What was your path to your current position?

As I’ve been managing online communities for over a decade, and running Discord servers since before it became one of the most popular online communication platforms, hosting cozy online spaces comes as little challenge. When I began volunteering, the CSPC was searching for someone to run its Discord server. When I filled the position, there was a massive overhaul of the server to be done, and I’m now also self-hosting a Discord bot to help with moderation tasks and user-friendly features like self-assignable Discord roles. Since then, I’ve been seeking out other volunteer opportunities within the CSPC to help serve my local community.

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

Thus far, The Sandbox. Having a virtual event based around ageplay mid-pandemic was a massive boon to my partners and I. One of my littles will never forget one of the stories told there, and to this day she’ll giggle and blush if you look at her and say, “bee bo”!

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

Surviving by any means necessary, just as many others.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

I legitimately enjoy the work I do in community leadership, and that’s part of what I do as a passion and hobby. I cook for my House, and do so quite well. I’m a nerd, and play a lot of different types of video games, board games, and tabletop games. And every now and then, I’ll take a blushing newbie little under my wing to show them the ropes.

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

I’m currently rooming with the partners in my polycule. They and I are House Bellerose, and the bonds between us have become nigh unbreakable.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

I’m autistic, with ADHD, CPTSD and DID. For those of you whom that means something to, I say this: if you can’t find a place for yourself in the world, make your world fit to you. Find people that love, accept, and care for you, and show it every day regardless of your flaws.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

Turn ons? Ageplay, diapers, hypnosis, petplay, edging, intelligence, spanking, chastity, rope, and bondage. Both in submissive and dominant roles and probably in that order too, unless bondage mixes with ageplay, in which case it goes right to the top! All of these are huge turn ons for me though, along with humble intelligence. I’ve been experimenting with impact and primal play in dominant positions, and I’m curious about how I’d look in leather. But most of all, consent. It ain’t hot if you can’t not.

Squicks? For one, disrespect in its many forms, whether it’s a lack of communication or a violation of boundaries. I’m definitely not a pain slut. Watching others inflict pain on someone’s most sensitive bits is unsettling to me, as is blood play. Scat grosses me out. I’m not here to shit on anyone though, YKINMKATOK. (Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s OK)

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

Education is key. Knowledge is power. I want to help provide my local community with as much knowledge and as many tools as possible to continue progressing sex-positivity as a widespread part of modern culture.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

Definitely put yourself out there as much as possible. Make sure to be patient, as we’re all volunteers here and have lives outside of the organization. Finally, don’t lose heart if you mess up, as it’s part of the learning process. Be honest, admit your faults, and always seek to know more.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

Absolutely. Huge shoutout to Aimee and her Bluestocking Bookshop back in Holland, Michigan. I began running events in person for the first time at her bookshop. Without her, I probably wouldn’t be here volunteering with the CSPC! Another huge shoutout to our volunteer DJ Napalot who took these photos. Hit him up here if you want your own: djnapalotpro@gmail.com.

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

Accept honest mistakes. Life is a journey and learning is a never ending process. Be forgiving as a default, but also do not put yourself at risk doing so. Love unconditionally, but also know to love oneself. Be honest and communicate efficiently, including when it comes to one’s own needs. Be your own priority when you must, but give back whenever possible. Balance is essential.

Huge gratitude from the CSPC to Fleur and our other volunteers! Interested in supporting your CSPC community by joining in the volunteer action? You can learn more and begin the volunteering process with the online orientation at https://thecspc.org/volunteering.

Leadership Spotlight: Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti

This is the seventeenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at one of our co-hosts for the Neurodivergent Discussion Group and More Amore: a Consensual NonMonogamy Discussion, Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti (scene name is GloriaJN)

  • Pronouns:

    • she/her/hers

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • Cisgender female, Bisexual, Solo Polyamorous, Switch (had been mostly a bottom and was just starting to learn how to top before the CSPC temporarily closed), breast cancer survivor, neurodivergent: autistic, with ADHD/ADD, PTSD, Anxiety/Depression and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury).

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • I joined in 2006. I don’t remember the exact month, but I just know it was some time after May. That’s when I began dating my new (at the time) partner, who introduced me to the CSPC.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • Well, as I mentioned above, I went to the CSPC with my partner. I had heard of it, and was curious about it, but I was too afraid to go by myself, because somehow, I thought I’d have to be willing to have sex as soon as I walked through the door! (Don’t ask where I got that idea from, because I don’t know.) Not only that, but I thought I had to be open to any and all types of sex and kink; in other words, I had to be up for everything. (Don’t ask where I got that from, either.) Once I went for the first time with my partner, I realized that wasn’t the case. We were able to watch other people playing, and then we went to the back for sex. It was nothing like I expected! It was just really chill, and I felt I was able to go at my own pace.

      Before COVID, my main areas of interest involved mostly getting flogged and occasionally whipped and spanked. I haven’t been tied up nearly enough, and I was only suspended once. That needs to change! And also, vanilla sex is sometimes really nice, with the right person.

      And now, during the pandemic, I’ve rarely attended any activities. I just want to make sure I’m comfortable venturing out, especially around a lot of people.

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

    • My role at the CSPC is “co-host,” as I’m a co-host for the Neurodivergent Discussion Group and for More Amore: a Consensual NonMonogamy Discussion, both of which are CSPC online events. 

 I guess my primary title or role is “Educator.” The classes listed below have been presented at conferences all over the US and in Vancouver, BC. I’ve been on polyamory/non-monogamy panels, as well as panels of “sexperts” at the CSPC. I’ve also been on polyamory/non-monogamy panels at colleges, including the times that we (me, Allena Gabosch, and one other person) spoke to some Human Sexuality classes at Highline College. Finally, I was part of an LGBTQ panel, also at Highline College, as well as at Franklin High School in Seattle. Both times, I talked to the students about Bisexuality.

The classes I teach are:
“Transcending Shame” (the most popular one and the first class I created)
“Polyamory 101: From Threesomes to WE-SOMES!”
“We Do Not Live Single-Issue Lives,” a class on Intersectionality, which is also becoming popular.

My e-mail address is notgloriajean@gmail.com; you can email me if you want to know more information about the classes I teach, if you’re interested in hiring me to do a presentation or a keynote speech, or if you have questions about anything. You can also email me to find out my schedule. I used to include that on my website (www.notgloriajean.net), but when the pandemic hit, those dates became obsolete, but I haven’t yet gotten around to updating my itinerary!

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • In January 2011, I took a free class at the now closed Sharma Center, called “Sexual Shame.” I thought it was a good class, and as I sat and listened, I had two dominant thoughts: 1) “This is helpful information, not just for sexual shame, but shame in general.” And 2) “I could totally do this!” (What I meant was that I could teach a class on shame.) But I kind of put it on the backburner until 2015/2016, when I began to hear about conferences that were looking for presenters. The first thing that came to mind was that Sexual Shame class that I took in 2011. Plus, I remembered what a major role shame played in my life, and that my family and the church used it to keep me in line.

      Suddenly, the name, “Transcending Shame” popped into my head as the name for the class. I presented it for the first time in April 2017 at Converge Con in Vancouver, BC. It’s definitely evolved over the years.

      Now, I’ll usually include shame-related quotes from various teachers, authors, celebrities, etc., in my PowerPoint presentation. But over the years, I’ve come up with some quotes I really like, that I’ll put on the slides:

      "Shame is isolating, which is why having community is so important."
      "Admit the guilt, but don't give in to the shame!"
      "I am never, ever again going to be anybody's source of shame."

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • Wow, that’s a really good question! I know that when the Center was having nightly events (and sometimes, two events the same night) and I was volunteering a lot more, I had several favorite parties. There used to be the Hump on Wednesday nights (a party I helped create), and the Grind on Thursday nights, both of which were probably my favorite parties. Now, even though I very rarely get to attend parties in person (and I hope that changes soon), I’d say my favorite parties are La Queer and Power Play Mixed-Tape, which was another favorite when we were in the old building.

      But in the meantime, I’ll just say that my favorite parties (or events) are the Neurodivergent Discussion Group and More Amore: a Consensual NonMonogamy Discussion, mainly because I’m a co-host in both groups.

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • My job title, that I’ve done since the mid-1980s, is “Artists’ Model.” In other words, I’m a “muse” for various students and experienced artists, in painting, drawing, and sculpture classes and sessions.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Now, that’s a good question! This is going to sound so weird, but I discovered the @Gorillas community on Twitter a couple or so months ago, and started following them. The way I found them is, one night, I was reading tweets that led me to other tweets, and I was finally led to a tweet showing a female gorilla who was in heat. The way she moved and wiggled her butt to try to get her male partner’s attention looked like she was twerking! As you can imagine, lots of memes came from that video! I also follow them on YouTube (“Gorilla World”). And you know, sometimes, I just crack up laughing at their almost slapstick antics. Other times, I get a little teary-eyed when I see how much they love each other. It’s so evident. Anyway, I never run out of material to watch!

      Here’s another thing I like to do in my free time: since May 2020, I’ve been working on my memoir. I haven’t had a lot of time to work on it lately, but I hope that once things settle down for me, I can sit down and devote my time and energy to it. The name of the memoir is "A Different Drum: A Black, Autistic, Polyamorous, Mentally Ill, Former Fundamentalist Christian/Cult Member and Breast Cancer Survivor WHO JUST WANTS TO FIT IN."

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • For the past five years (January 2017-2022), I lived in an intentional community in Seattle’s University District, made up of 13-14 housemates. With the onset of the pandemic, however, people gradually started moving out. I still live in the U District, but I now live alone in an “apodment” (not apartment). It’s much smaller than I anticipated, so I’m still arranging things and throwing stuff out! After that’s complete, I plan to finally get some plants.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • My favorite song of all time is the “Blue Danube Waltz” or as it’s also called, “The Beautiful Blue Danube,” by Johann Strauss. I’m including the YouTube video so, if anyone says, “Oh, I don’t know that song,” I can tell them, “Oh, believe me, you know this song! Everybody does!”  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkkOlXME85E). The version in the YouTube video was played by the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, with Leonard Bernstein as the conductor. That’s EXTREMELY important to me because Leonard Bernstein was bisexual.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

    • My turn-ons are cuddling, with long, luxurious, never-ending hugs, especially the kind where I feel like the other person and I are melting into each other (my primary love language is Physical Touch, after all). Another turn-on is deep kissing with lots of tongue. I’ve got lots of other turn-ons, but I’ll just mention one more: when someone (dear friend, partner, or lover) looks at me longingly; I guess you’d call that a “come hither” look.

      What squicks me is: 1) clothespins for the purpose of being placed on my nipples. Someone did that to me years ago, without my consent, which was bad enough. But they also took pictures, and I remember how distressed and scared I looked. Apparently, that was a turn-on for the photographer. Anyway, clothespins are traumatizing for me. 2) Bukkake squicks me. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I just can’t look. 3) Finally, hook pull suspensions are more than I can handle. By the way, I agree with the saying, “Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Okay” (YKINMKBYKIO). These kinks are just not okay for me!

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • My hope is that we find a permanent building SOON! I really miss going to the Center practically every night. It was definitely a community for me; what’s sad is that I didn’t realize just how much of a community it was until it was gone. Sure, we have Gallery Erato, but it’s just not the same. I got so used to having multiple activities throughout the week, and making lots of friends who I wouldn’t have met if not for the Center. The CSPC is also where I met one of my partners, over 10 years ago.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Whether they’re new to the Center or kink, I’d advise them to take as many classes as possible, to get an idea of what they’re into and what’s out there, as well as to gain skills. I’d also advise them to attend a tasting or two, just to get an idea of what they’d like and what they would absolutely never do! I’m sure these are also good ways to meet other play partners.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

    • Yes! The Seattle Erotic Art Festival (www.seattleerotic.org), April 29-May 1, 2022, a Pan-Eros Foundation event, is at the Seattle Center Exhibition Hall. I’m especially excited about it because for the first time, I was one of the judges for the event!

      Southwest Love Fest: Symposiums & An Annual Conference on Relationships, Identity, Community & Non Monogamy
      April 22-24, 2022 | VIRTUAL CON via Zoom (https://www.swlovefest.com)

I'll be presenting "We Do Not Live Single-Issue Lives"

Finally, if you’re polyamorous or curious, and live in Denver, CO (or plan to visit in May), there’s the Annual Rocky Mountain Poly Living Conference (https://www.lovingmorenonprofit.org/conferences/polyliving/rmpl-denver/), May 13-15, 2022. I don’t yet know what I’ll be presenting, but I know it’ll be great, so come on down!

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • As far as I can see, we’re already doing that. People are good about checking in with me, to see how I’m doing. Plus, some members are my Facebook friends, which lets them know what’s going on in my life. So even though it’s not the kind of community that I had grown to love, I think it’s starting to get there again, slowly but surely.

Leadership Spotlight: Mina

This is the sixteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our new Captain of the Setup/Strike Team, Mina.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Mina 

  • Pronouns:

    • She/Her

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • Cisgender Female - Bottom

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • Less than a year.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • As a new resident to WA, I wanted to challenge myself to create a social circle that didn’t involve co-workers. I was fortunate to stumble across CSPC on Fetlife and the rest was history! Not only am I able to socialize, I’m given the opportunity of sexual exploration and discovery. 

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

    • Captain Setup/Strike Team, setupstrikecaptain@thecspc.org. Keeping things in order and ensuring that things run as smoothly as possible for an event brings me Zen. I'm looking to establish contact with Hosts/Champions/ECs for La Queer, Fresh Meet, Power Play Mix Tape, Femme Dominion, Myself!, and any other in-person events that are currently being hosted at the Gallery. I'm open to any advice or tips!

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • After a few setup/strike shifts, my natural curiosity for organization came butting out and Skitty caught a whiff of it. Now, here I am! 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • Currently, my favorite in-person event is Myself! so that I may indulge in my voyeurism kink. The blatant invitation to watch sexual activity in public with no inhibitions or reprecussions is titillating. I hope to attend a Power Play Mix Tape event in the future.

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • Patient Care Coordinator with a local clinic.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • I am a homebody who loves to read a variety of romance novels as well as indulge in some quality streaming time. Pre-Covid, I enjoyed playing board games and card games with friends.

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I’ve found it to be more financially sound to be a part of a house sharing situation. So technically I have roommates, but we’re all in our own little world so much that we’re practically strangers. It feels like living alone until a common area snafu happens. 

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I’ve recently started a hoodie collection a couple months ago. It’s my goal to collect hoodies that have designs that show off some kind of quirky knowledge about myself or commemorate a traveling opportunity.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

    • Turn-On: Open communication, open affection, and sexual confidence. 

    • Squicks: Emotional manipulation and pauciloquents.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • My hope for CSPC is a space that we can call our own. I’m excited to expand the types of parties and scenes that we can have!

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Dive in with both feet! If you’re shy like me when it comes to socializing, then volunteering can give you a purpose to focus on while meeting new people..

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • I think CSPC does an amazing job at being present for their members. I look forward to the day when we are able to host in-person munches again. 

  • Anything else we should know?

    • I’m an open book. There’s no such thing as TMI or a dumb question. 

Leadership Spotlight: Eirikah

This is the fifteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our newest Board Member, Eirikah.

  • Name/scene name:

    • Eirikah Delaunay

  • Pronouns:

    • she/her

  • How do you identify?

    • I identify as a polyamorous bisexual cis-woman, sadomasochist, and typically Dominant-leaning Switch.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • I’ve been a member of the CSPC for 10 years.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • I first experienced and embraced kink and sacred sexuality at 18 years old after being raised Baptist in the American Deep South. I kept these essential parts of myself super private for the next two decades out of fear of judgment. I felt isolated in my belief that sex-positive community was just a fantasy found in books and movies. I relocated to Seattle with my family in 2010, and a year later an online date mentioned The Crucible in Washington, DC. Through the magic of Google (BDSM+club+Seattle), I found the CSPC. My first event was a social night to scout the vibe before attending a tasting event the next night. I was so nervous that my partner and I sat in the car in the parking lot for a half hour before going inside. When we finally did, we found a circle of people just like us--many ages, many genders, many shapes and sizes, all smiling--who enthusiastically welcomed us, showed us the space, and were excited to see us again the next night, where I got to try “take down and struggle play” as a kink thing for the first time. I had finally found “my people.” 

  • CSPC e-mail, role, areas you cover:

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • Over the years, I’ve enjoyed participating in the Sacred Sexuality group and the Erotic Hypnosis group at the CSPC. D/s is a core element of all my erotic relationships, and I loved the dynamic of Libertine Social Club, Wildfire, and the Ladies’ Sovereign Tea. As a bit of an introvert who likes to play hard, however, my favorite event was Monday Madness. I loved the smaller, quieter, more intimate gathering with many of the folks who’d spent their weekends volunteering at the larger weekend events and did their own playing at Monday Madness. I also loved the tasting events as a way for folks to learn more about what they enjoy and how to practice different kinds of play more safely, and I loved the intensity and creativity of Asylum.

  • Career or day job:

    • After a long career in academia, I am now a somatic sex+magic coach at Desire Alchemy (https://desirealchemy.com) who offers individual, partnered, and group coaching for people curious and excited about using effective communication, magic, sexuality, kink, and/or power exchange relationships as vehicles for personal growth and bliss. 

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • I love spending time with my partners, hanging out in nature, gardening, reading, reading tarot and astrology charts, and making art.

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I live with my nesting partner, a huge floofy cat with too many names, and a jungle of plants he desperately wants to eat. My two adult children live nearby, but not with me.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you:

    • I co-owned an independent hip-hop record label in the early 2000’s.

  • Turn-ons: 

    • Turn-ons: flirting, language, curiosity, collaborative kink, laughter, boundaries given and received with clarity and gratitude, personal responsibility, kindness. “More, please.”

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

    • I’m looking forward to helping strengthen the sense of community within the CSPC. All of us have resources to contribute, and all of us can benefit by sharing the resources we have. Energy, enthusiasm, volunteer time, financial donations, great ideas, visibility--all of these resources and many others are essential to creating a welcoming and supportive space where diverse folks can celebrate, develop, and explore sexuality and sensuality.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Connect with an existing volunteer! We would love to help you connect with the service opportunities, events, and other like-minded humans that you’re looking for.

Black and white photo credit: Mitzie Gibson

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Leadership Spotlight: 7

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This is the fourteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board Secretary, 7.

  • Name and scene name:

    •  Erik 7 Johnson, a.k.a. L 7 (my female incarnation, who more commonly goes by Mistress 7). For the sake of simplicity you can just call me 7.

  • Pronouns:

    • they/them/theirs, he/him/his (only when Erik 7), She/Her/Hers (preferred pronouns of Mistress 7), ve/ver/vis (playing around with these)

  • How do you identify?

    •  I’m the co-embodiment of a male-bodied, non-binary, trixic, top-leaning switch (Erik 7) and a female-identifying Domme (Mistress 7).

    • A co-embodiment is not the same as having multiple personalities. It’s not like only one of us is here or in control at a given time. We just co-exist in and share one body.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • A bit over two years.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • A friend said that the CSPC needed some volunteers for a pansexual/pangender party they were starting up (All-In), and that sounded like an important thing to do for the community, as well as a good time. I haven’t regretted joining for a moment. I’ve found new friends, partners, and community here. My main areas of interest are consent culture, impact and sensory play, and breaking down/redefining the boundaries between BDSM play, sex, and comedy.

  • CSPC e-mail address, title, roles, reasons for contact, and areas you cover:

    • 7@theCSPC.org. I guess my title and role depends on context. I’m a volunteer with the Communications Team, usually a Monitor or Event Coordinator at the in-person parties we host, a Tech Assistant at some of our online events, and Board Secretary for purposes of more official business.

    • Oh yes, I suppose you should contact me if you want something changed on the web site, need an event added to the calendar, or if you’d like anything added to the newsletters. As to what areas I cover, usually the genitals. Sometimes the nipples. It depends on the activity and how cold it is. I’m also unofficially in charge of dad jokes.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    •  I started out doing set up/strike and registration, got trained as a monitor, and after about a year of doing that I decided to become an EC. I applied to the board because I have a small masochistic side that just wanted to take on more responsibility. Most of my current path has involved noticing that there’s a need and saying, “I can help with that.”

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why?

    • This is such a tough question. As Erik 7, my first party (and first scene in public) was at Layover, and that will always have a special place in my heart. Mistress 7’s first party was the Femme Domme SovereignTea, and those were always a tremendous amount of fun. I’ve been a regular volunteer for and am very invested in both All-In and Fresh Meet, and the LaQueer parties had some of the most creative scenes I’ve ever seen. I also had a great time ECing at Myself! the one time I was able to get a Sunday off. But I guess right now I’d have to say F*cking Precious is my favorite. Where else could I dress as Mistress Stitch and beat a partner who’s wearing dinosaur pajamas with toy lightsabers and a rubber chicken, all while singing songs from Rocky Horror? Well yes, I suppose I can do all that stuff in the grocery store as well, but it seemed to be more accepted at F*cking Precious.

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • As Duchamp once said, “Je suis un respirateur.” I’m also an unpaid author and unemployed jester (it sounds like a terrible job, but I’m nobody’s fool), as well as a homemaker/caretaker/guardian for children with special needs. I’m also technically Exalted Emperex for Life of a secret conspiracy bent on global domination. But most of the other conspirators left and there’s not been much activity within the conspiracy since the late ‘90s, so I think it’s safe to say I’m not going to take over the world tonight.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • I write things: some sexy, some funny, both funny and sexy when I can manage it. Zombies and ghosts occasionally appear, for reasons. I have a passion for etymology, because I love words and because it involves fewer bugs than when I had a passion for entomology (it turns out I love words a lot more than I love bugs). When I can I like to eat things, mostly food. I have fun conversations with people. Many of them are real people, and some of those people end up becoming partners who I have sex with (only with consent, of course). When they’re not available I have sex with myself (again, only after negotiating consent first). I’m also a singer/musician of sorts, as well as a part-time inventor (I invented the electric kazoo and the spam-banana taco). I’m trying to become a renaissance person by wearing very little clothing and working on my perspective.

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I live with two of my three kids (I might have lost one kid, but I’m pretty sure he’s around here somewhere), a Russian tortoise named Иван Черепахавич (he says this translates into something like Ivan Tortoisevich), and a number of robots. We also have some plants and candy bars.

    • I’m a polyamorous and switchy co-embodiment, so this next part gets complicated. I’ll have to resort to using third-person: Erik 7 has one partner who they’re only seeing with social distancing and masks at the moment due to the pandemic; this partner has never really met Mistress 7 except for once for a few minutes at a party where She was delivering yardstick birthday swattings to another (now former) partner. Erik 7 and Mistress 7 both happily share a partner who is Erik 7’s lover/playmate and Mistress 7’s submissive (they mostly share, although Mistress 7 can be a beast to negotiate with). Erik 7 also has a 3rd partner who is mostly a platonic friend and occasional roommate, and this partner also is a play partner/submissive (during times when her health allows) to Mistress 7.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I am the world’s 4th worst guitarist, but working my way up constantly with all the practicing I don’t do. Also, I told one lie when filling out this interview. >>If you can guess which sentence it’s in, you’ll win a prize!<<

  • Turn-ons and squicks:

    • Vampires (for both).

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and the greater sex positive community:

    • For the CSPC, I hope we can start meeting together in person sometime, in a home that works for everybody. Until then, I hope that we can diversify our online offerings so that we’re meeting more of the community’s wants and needs.

    • For the greater sex-positive community, I hope that we can be more open about who we are, and gain greater societal acceptance. The gay rights movement has done an amazing job at not only getting laws changed to be more fair, but also at convincing *most* of the public that gay people are not bad or threatening. That has taken a long time and a huge amount of work, much of which started with the pioneers of that movement being loud and proud about who they are, and never backing down or hiding.

I’d like to see similar societal movement toward equal rights for non-monogamous relationships and marriages, and for people to have the right to consensually do kinky things without the risk of the law interfering. I’d like people to engage in impact play without worry about statutes defining it as assault. I’d like furries to be able to go about their day wearing ears and tails if they want, without workplace discrimination or public shaming. I’d like people to be able to say they’re interested in D/s without others assuming they are being predatory or trying to convert them. I’d like asexuals to be able to be honest about their orientation without people assuming there’s something wrong with them or that they haven’t found “the right person” yet.

The majority of people have some kind of kink, when you add up all the categories, but we pretend as if monogamous people who only care for vanilla sex are somehow the norm. There is no normal. Some people are afraid of differences, others can’t risk exposing their differences so they closet themselves, and that leads to the illusion of normal from the lack of visible diversity. I want us all to be loud and proud and accepting of others, because we are all unique and that is a beautiful thing.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer:

    • For new members: Start volunteering! It’s a lot of fun, and a great way to meet new friends. Also, when you have a scene at the Center, please be sure to pick up all the things you brought with you.

    • For volunteers: Volunteer work is a great thing to put on your resume, unless you’re applying to work in a church. In that case, just call the CSPC “a nonprofit.”

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

    • I really enjoyed the Seattle Cuddle Party group as an option to get explicitly non-sexual touch, and these events help a lot of people learn to separate sexual from non-sexual intimacy (these distinctions are blurry for many people). All of the events hosted by a Cuddle Party-certified facilitator also include a mini workshop around consent, which is helpful to emphasize that every interaction needs to be explicitly negotiated.

Leadership Spotlight: Teeebone

This is the thirteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at longtime volunteer and Event Coordinator, Teeebone.

  • Scene name:

    • Teeebone

  • Pronouns:

    • he/him

  • How do you identify?

    • Male, heterosexual, top, polyamorous.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • 17+ years.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • A friend kept urging me to join the CSPC. They said it was relevent to my interests of sex, community & BDSM.

  • Roles/areas you cover:

    • I coordinate events and/or handle music at CSPC parties.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • First 2 years, I was a member; then 3 years of volunteering as a DJ & Ambassador and then 12 years as an Event Coordinator, Champion and most recently Zoom Meeting Moderator.

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • The Hump - Weekly on Wednesday nights. 

  • Career:

    • Graphic Design

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Video or pc gaming, reading, eating sweets.

  • Partners:

    • In an Open Relationship. (6+ years)

  • Fun fact:

    • While I’m a big fan of cats, I can’t have one live with me because I’m mildly allergic to them. :3

  • Turn-ons:

    • Watching folks play at the events. Especially the events I run.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

    • My hope is that the CSPC will find a new home and start hosting in-person events again.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Take your time in your membership within the community. Ask questions and get educated. There is a “getting to know you” period where you need to introduce yourself. Don’t think of this place as a sex or BDSM club - Think of it as a place where you could have sex or engage in BDSM activity (or even both) with somebody you care about who also cares about you. True fact: The CSPC is where I learned how to hug. :3

Leadership Spotlight: Sakari

This is the twelfth of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our new Board Member and Communications Director, Sakari.

  • Name:

    • Sakari

  • Pronouns:

    • She/her

  • How do you identify?

    • I am a collared, submissive transgender woman. My Mistress has a laundry list of different names for me including: Maid, pony, puppy, baby, princess, bunny, cook, chauffeur, moo cow and etc.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • About 8 years now

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • I moved to Seattle in 2011 to transition in a welcoming environment. After searching around for like-minded people, I found the Center. My first parties were the Femdom teas and I fell in love. My main kinks are service, roleplay of the age and pet variety usually, impact, all forms of bondage and sensation play.

  • CSPC e-mail address, title, areas you cover:

    • sakaricspc@gmail.com Communications Director. Please contact me if you’re interested in volunteering for the Communications Team. We are currently looking for someone well-versed in social media. I would also be more than willing to talk to any trans girls in the CSPC community who need a shoulder or just some advice. A kind stranger guided me when I first got to town and I am happy to do the same.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • I think the CSPC’s mission is of vital importance to the Seattle community and, frankly, the world at large. I also owe the CSPC a huge debt because I met my wonderful Mistress and partner at a CSPC party called Women on Top. I’ve been a volunteer for some years now and when I saw a chance to help in a larger capacity I jumped for it. I really want this place to thrive.

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • The Femme Soverign Teas are my absolute favorite. As a service submissive and aspiring maid I cannot emphasize how much a dream these events can be. All of the fantasy is there before you: a room of discerning dommes, a day of prostration and service and I get to put on my cutest, sluttiest maid outfit! Close runners up are the F*cking Precious ageplay party and the All In pan-party. SPOILER: I helped champion all three!

  • Career or day job:

    • 24/7 kinky maid service for my Mistress =)

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Videooooo gaaammmmeeeeeeez

  • Living situation:

    • I live with my Mistress and our two cats in the Greenwood neighborhood.

  • Fun fact:

    • Everyone I meet compliments my curly hair but before I transitioned I never grew it out more than an inch so I never knew it was a thing!

  • Turn-ons and squicks: 

    • I’m wildly turned on by softness. I love the feel of soft thigh-highs or fuzzy sweaters. I would assuredly be a furry if I could afford one of those suits, plus I think costumes are fun. I also love having control taken away via bondage. I especially like gags. As for squicks, it’s the usual: waste products, children, non-consent. Also not into impact that draws blood.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

    • I am very much looking forward to the CSPC weathering the COVID storm and getting back to hosting parties in our own space. My biggest concern is getting that space and making sure it fits our needs while still being affordable for the long-term. It’s my hope, once we do have space, that we skirt the line between cool, kink club and awesome kink community center.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • To the new member I would say: If you are looking for a certain someone or experience, don’t give up if you don’t find it right away. I was getting discouraged going to Femdom teas and not getting play or meeting anyone. The day I said I was done going to the Center my roommate did my makeup and pushed me out the door to a Women on Top party. That was the day I met my Mistress. Also, don’t be afraid to let your colors show at these parties. Dress to impress. Don’t be afraid to respectfully approach someone. People won’t get the idea until you give it to them.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

    • One of the kind owners at Wild at Heart on Leary St. pointed me toward the CSPC when I first moved here. It’s a great female-run adult store with a nice BDSM section.

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • I always tell myself that karma is real. It’s scientific, really. For every action there is a reaction. I think just giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, extending your hand in friendship first can go a long way to making this world better.

  • Anything else we should know?

    • The Center for Sex Positive Culture and all of the organizations like it embody freedom of the self. Freedom is our most important resource and it must be closely guarded and nurtured or we will lose it and be worse off for it.

Leadership Spotlight: Elissa

This is the eleventh of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Programming Team Co-Lead, Elissa.

 

  • Name:

    • Elissa

  • Pronouns:

    • She/Her

  • How do you identify?

    • I’m transfeminine, gender fluid, bisexual, solo poly, and a switch.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • My first CSPC event was five years ago in the fall of 2015. I became a member and volunteer in early 2016.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • Mostly, I came here to make friends and find partners. When I returned to Washington after college, I missed my friends from Minnesota and a lot of my old friends here had moved away. The Center gave me the community I needed, with the side benefit of a place to have hardcore BDSM scenes and group sex and various other fun activities. I’m primarily interested in pain, roleplay, cuddles, and I enjoy vanilla sex as well, when I get the chance to have some.

  • CSPC e-mail address and title:

    • programming@thecspc.org Co-Lead of the Programming Team 

    • Contact me if you’d like to be part of our team where we plan and execute events, or if you’d like to suggest or run a new event.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • I started as a setup volunteer, eventually expanding to work as an ambassador and library volunteer at the old space. When we lost our original space in 2016, I went back to focusing on setup as those other roles were no longer available. I joined the Programming Team when it started, because I wanted to make a bigger impact on the direction things were taking. I was preparing to take on the role of Co-Lead before COVID hit and finally did once we reconvened the team again in the summer.

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • My favorite events that were running in the Pioneer Square space were Myself and F*cking Precious because there was always something fun to do or watch and everyone was always having a good time. My favorite at the old space was Women on Top, because I like being topped by women and topping as a woman, and the community around that event was the best.

  • Day job:

    • I’ve done a lot of different things. Right now, I’m unemployed due to the pandemic.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • I take a five mile walk every day, I listen to podcasts and watch movies, I love professional wrestling, I write a little, I’m working on learning Japanese, I play video games, I like to bake and do origami, and I’ve been playing in several online tabletop RPGs, one of which I run.

  • Living situation:

    • I live with my parents, my sibling, and our two cats; Cashew and Chanterelle, who are cute and also evil, because they are cats.

  • Fun fact:

    • I used to be nearly fluent in Spanish when I was in high school, and my siblings and I would speak it to each other sometimes to say stuff we didn’t want our parents to hear. Even in the first few years of college, I’d watch telenovelas on an antenna TV while I was drawing. My favorite was Salome. I’m pretty rusty, but I can still speak a little and read more.

  • Turn-ons and squicks: 

    • I like big noses, leather and latex, and a nice husky voice. I love the sound of a great impact scene. Curves or muscles are quite nice as well and both are better. The sting of alcohol sprayed on my split skin or giving or receiving a good solid bite. But the thing that works best for me is a good reaction, whether a laugh of delight or scream of pain from a bottom, the words of appreciation from a top at my own good job of bottoming, the approach of a partner’s orgasm... things like that. I have a fair number of squicks but the biggest one is feet. I’m fine to rub a partner’s feet, and I love a good boot, but I find a lot of the foot fetish standbys like footjobs, foot sucking, and sniffing dirty feet to be just really unpleasant, and I don’t even like looking at most people’s bare feet.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and the greater sex positive community:

    • Even in the fairly short time I’ve been a part of the community, we have been through some hard times, but none as hard as this pandemic. I don’t know if we’ll make it through this. I’m going to do my best to make sure we do but it’s not going to be easy. That being said, I think digital events offer us an opportunity to reach out to a wider and more diverse community, which is great. Though we lost a lot when we lost our original space, when we came back, one of the great things we gained was a community that was much more diverse in many ways and I hope that continues. Another great thing is how much closer the greater sex positive community has become in the past few years. I think that’s important to foster. In the long term, I hope we’ll find a new place of our own, because that will be a gamechanger in how we can run events and foster community, and I hope that’s something we can work towards. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Try out everything you can. I remember my first time at the Center, coming with a partner and telling her I wasn’t sure about all this pain stuff, and of course I immediately saw an impact scene that I couldn’t stop watching. There are tons of things that I got the chance to try at a tasting event or from a friend or acquaintance who wanted to show off their new toys or techniques, from claws to electricity to rough body play, that I might never have tried, but now are some of my favorite kink activities.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

    • I love Diadem Events, a group that does play Femdom play parties and teaching events at the Streamhouse and other locations. It’s run by a good friend of mine and I help them run events as well.

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • We have to ask what people need and want, and give what we can. Not everyone needs or wants the same things. We have to be aware of that and not assume we know best.