A Journey to Sex Positive Self and Community

by Ricky B.

Hi! I'm Ricky, a new member and volunteer for the CSPC.

The CSPC provides a safe place for our community to explore their sexual orientation and identity, without judgement or fear. That's why I'm proud to serve our organization by monitoring and assisting with events.

My membership to the CSPC began only a short time ago; however, my path to the sex positive and LGBTQ community has been lifelong. Having lived a vanilla life out of fear of judgment and persecution, I now unapologetically advocate in my community and workplace for the right of self-expression and LGBTQ pride. 

It has not been a journey without obstacles: I've been censored, targeted, and shunned by those who aren't accepting of me; I've lost friends and made adversaries; I've lost relationships and job opportunities; I've been misunderstood; and at times, I've lost myself. However, through support, guidance, and reflection, I've been found. This is why I advocate; this is why I volunteer; and this is why I proudly support the CSPC and the LGBTQ community.

No matter what color of the rainbow you represent, no matter your race, ethnicity, or gender identity, you're welcome at CSPC. Consider volunteering. You can make a difference in your community.

Be proud of who you are, live your best life, and give back as a volunteer!

Ricky (he, him, Hers)

Looking for support on your journey of sex positive self expression? Check out the new finding YOUR way online discussion group! The first meeting is Monday, 9/5–free to members!

Volunteering is a great way to build greater connection while giving back to our community. Complete the online orientation and submit your volunteer application today! Keep an eye out for our next Registration and Monitor training!

Hump History Year Six: Rolling That Hard Six

by Teeebone

In 2013, the Hump marked its sixth year at the Center. It is also important to note that the Annex (and later the RAW Dungeon) had been in use by the CSPC for about the same length of time. This extra space allowed the Center to hold two events per night almost every day, and as the membership grew, so did the demand for volunteers to staff the parties, old and new alike. Even an event as basic as a weekday sex-focused party needs capable staff to run safely and smoothly.

During this year, there were a few challenges that had to be dealt with involving prompting staff to stay on focus with their duties rather than behave like they were an attendee at the party. Most of them owned up to it when the issue was brought up, and a “teachable” moment was experienced by all. Staying in the game and learning from your mistakes is the key when it comes to being a good volunteer at the CSPC.

In May, the Hump launched a “Porn Drive” to put together a porn DVD library for the party. Up till then, we would need to go to the CSPC Library and check out some DVDs to play in the Solo Space. Putting together our own event library helped save time on setup. All told, we received 38 porn DVDs from our generous members!

In June, we celebrated the CSPC’s Fourteenth birthday with a Hump and a Whump! Some of the highlights:  A suspension / naked cake platter scene, a birthday spanking (or was it two or three?) and a high level of attendance (80+ members on a Wednesday night!) that promptly adjourned to the RAW Dungeon or back room after 8pm. Truly an epic event.

Tragedy struck in September however, when it was discovered during setup that our beloved mascot Humphrey was shattered in his storage tote. All seemed lost, but then somebody from the Hump crew took our broken friend home, and with a whole lot of love and glue, they managed to restore Humphrey back to his humpy camel self.

In December, the year ended with the annual Xmas Potluck combined with the Hump. For this night only, admission was a suggested donation of $10. So... an attendee could either: Donate $10, bring a food item, donate $10 AND bring a food item or just bring themselves. Amazingly, the donations were as generous as the spread for the potluck: A complete roasted turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, southern-style cornbread, noodle kugel, macaroni and cheese, carrots, green beans, rice krispie treats, pumpkin pie, AND apple pie. YUM, YUM! Holidays are the best when spent in community with friends and chosen family.

Until next time... :^)

As the CSPC community continues to grow and we return to hosting more and more events, we need YOU to help make the magic happen by sharing your time, energy, and skills as a volunteer! Our next training for Registration and Monitors is 7-9pm on Monday, August 22. 

Not yet a volunteer? Complete your online volunteer orientation and application here! 

Questions? Reach out to us at info@theCSPC.org.

Teaching Dessert Topping at the Frolic

by Teeebone

Last month, I had the honor of teaching at the Frolic. It was an hour-long workshop entitled Sweet, Seductive, and Serviceable: Dessert Topping for Everybody! The course description was as follows:

“Have you ever heard of a Dessert Top? BDSM has been perceived as rough, brutal, and painful, thanks to our dear friends in the media. So let’s step away from that and approach this subject from a different angle, focusing on fun and sensual domination! In this workshop, we will explore the sensual side of BDSM and find out more about what being a Sweet Service Top is all about!”

And like it said on the can, so to speak, this class covered a part of BDSM that has long been overlooked or maybe not even considered. When the Frolic team contacted me about doing a class at the event, I readily accepted, though I must admit I was nervous at first... I had not ever taught a class before.

So I got started putting together a syllabus with prompts and notes on my experience in the subject matter and getting oriented to the audience my class was likely to attract:

1. First, I anticipated that the attendees would likely be beginners.

2. As such, these new folx were not likely to have a big toy library, so I brought some of my own toys for show and tell.

3. I did research online and found a very useful scene fill-out form to hand out.

4. I also did research on some reading material to recommend to the attendees.

I crafted the syllabus, added scripted elements, made preparations and rehearsed my delivery until the night before the event. I was still pretty excited, so it was difficult to sleep. On early Sunday morning, I drove to Kinky Acres to teach my class. Just like a wizard, I did not arrive late or early, but precisely when I meant to…. Actually, about fifteen minutes before the class was to start. So off to the teaching tent I went.

And what an awesome experience! While the audience was small, it made for an up-close and personal presentation that was focused on a different take on BDSM, one that was fun, sensual and intimate. In execution, I found that I had 45 minutes of syllabus/script and 15 minutes of questions and discussion for an hour long class, which seemed to be the right mix. After class, we had a yummy Sunday Brunch, hung around some more and then did the Closing Ceremony to conclude the event.

Overall, I had a wonderful experience at the Frolic as a presenter. I am grateful that the Frolic Team invited me to teach the class. It was the first class I have ever taught– but it won’t be the last! Thank you and you are welcome!

It’s not too late to join the Frolic this weekend, August 5-7, for more great classes and activities! A few tickets are still available here. Not yet a member, but want to join us at the Frolic? Email us at frolic@thecspc.org to schedule an on-site new member orientation and purchase your ticket.

Hump History Year Five: The Fifth to Mention

by Teeebone

In 2012, the Hump was entering its fifth year of operation. The party had become a routine weekly event that new members often attended as their first CSPC party, creating a great first impression of the sex-positive community in general.

But along with the ever-lengthening track record, there was the week-to-week task of keeping the party fully staffed. Most of the original crew had left for personal or professional reasons by this time because “life happens,” and we were challenged to keep the party volunteer positions filled. Thanks to our volunteer training program, our successive waves of volunteers who stepped in to take over these open slots were just as effective as the original crew. With the official curtailment of impact play at the Hump enacted during the previous summer, changes in staff, and a desire to pursue other projects within the CSPC, one of the founders of the Hump decided to head out to become a host of another party and put together a new quarterly party as well. They announced their departure in early July, and after that I found myself handling even more responsibilities than before. Learning how to manage, delegate, and communicate effectively became crucial.

In August, a number of new innovations were introduced to the Volunteer Corps, including an EC Report Template that made for better and more detailed EC Reports. I put together a schedule template that helped make organizing the weekly Hump volunteer roster much easier. The volunteer training program continued to expand to help with the ongoing demand for staff for other parties and events, because at this point there was something happening almost every day at the CSPC. By the end of the year, I was handling the volunteer roster scheduling of the Hump Team as well as being the EC, Host, Champion, and sometimes the DJ.

In December there were two unique, one-of-a-kind scenes that took place at the Hump, a week apart from each other. One involved a suspension that was done very gracefully–with the female rope bottom covered in gold glitter. Many people gathered around to watch it happen. Clean up, however, took about two hours! The other scene was a "Harem Experience" which involved some advanced planning and a few extras thrown in for good measure:one guy, four gals (or was it six?) and appropriate music to convey the atmosphere... This was one of the most involved scenes I had ever helped put together, and I still love helping folx bring their fantasies to life. Though these scenes were a lot of work to help plan and support, both of them were great reminders for me of just how much fun it was to be running the Hump.

Until next time… :^)

**Want to be part of a volunteer team that makes the hotness happen? Or help out with all the behind-the-scenes work of the CSPC organization? Begin the process by completing the online volunteer orientation and volunteer application form here! We are created and run by members, for members, and we need YOU!

Instant Party (Just Add Volunteers!)--The Origins of The Luv Shack / OMG SX!

by Teeebone

In mid-December of 2010, a mass email went out to the CSPC Volunteers calling for Party Champions and Event Coordinators for three new parties beginning in January. One party had already been approved, but two other parties needed to be created from scratch. The details for these new parties were as follows: A third Friday Main Space party, 8PM start time, something like the Hump or Erotic City, and a fifth Friday party to be held in both the Main Space and the Annex / RAW Dungeon, scheduled to start in April and be held as a quarterly event. The Office stated they were open to suggestions and ideas, providing a chance for anybody to create the new party that they had always wanted.

After reading the email, I felt inspired. Erotic City had been canceled in the summer of 2008, and the time was right to add a new sex-focused party on a Friday night. The email exchange was fast and furious:

“I'm throwing my hat into the ring for the proposed third Friday sex-focused party. Erotic City shall rise again, with a few tweaks and updates. But I can't do it alone, LOL.”

The internet brainstorm session continued for a couple of days, and within less than a month we had a crew put together and a cool name for the new party: The Luv Shack! I had learned a lot from my years of running the Hump on how to build a team, put out publicity, and organize a work schedule, but one other vital component that helped pull things together was being a known quantity at the CSPC. I had reached that level where folks wanted to join my team.. is a magical thing when that happens, and I’m grateful that it did. Some of the people who stepped up used to volunteer with Erotic City back in the day, and they were glad to see a new party taking its place.

In setup and organization, the party was very similar to the Hump, though instead of a two-hour social followed by a four-hour party, it was just a six-hour party. There was a social area with snacks, a cuddle/romp pile, the dance floor, an exhibitionist area, and of course the Back Room for those who wanted some privacy. On January 21st, 2011, The Luv Shack debuted with an attendance of 94 folks plus staff. Afterwards, the rave reviews came pouring in:

"Well, the Luv Shack debut was... AWESOME! Thanks to Teeebone and everyone whose hard work went into making it happen! The initial showing of more than 90 folks was fantastic! I hope that you were there checking it out. And if you are not, be sure to stop by next month!”

These are the kind of reviews an Event Coordinator or Party Champion strives for. Luv Shack continued rolling on until September of 2012, when it was rebranded as OMG SX! The crew had gotten the sense that the party needed some new energy, so we changed things up by adding a cafe theme to the social area, a change in DJs, a dark couch corner, and a dedicated massage station.

I continued working as EC/Champion of OMG SX! until January 2015. After four years, I passed the mike over to somebody else who ran the party until the CSPC closed shop in September of 2016. They kept the energy going by introducing some new innovations like the Venus Suite and the Legendary Fuck Tent, and they were also able to bring in the younger members of the CSPC membership into the party.

All in all, I consider Luv Shack / OMG SX! to be an excellent example of a successful, long-running party. Thanks to everybody, both volunteers and attendees, who helped make it happen!

Until next time... :^)

Interested in starting a party of your own? 

The first step is becoming a volunteer! Begin this process by completing the online volunteer orientation and volunteer application form here! 

Next, share your great idea with the CSPC’s Events Director at EventsDirector@theCSPC.org to get your party started!

Research Survey Opportunity--Race & Kink

Are you a kinky person of color? You may be eligible to participate in a CARAS-endorsed anonymous online survey about your experiences! We are currently looking for more survey participants to better understand racialized experiences and perspectives within the kinky community. 

This research will amplify and center the voices of kinky people of color, and results may benefit the larger community. Ms. Mina Beveney (mlbeveney@widener.edu), a doctoral candidate at the Center for Positive Sexuality and Black psychotherapist , is seeking participants for a 20- to 30-minute survey that will ask about experiences of racial or ethnic discrimination, sexual self-concept, and coping.

If you are a person of color age 18 or over that has participated in in-person BDSM spaces or contexts in the United States within the past 24 months, please follow this link (https://rebrand.ly/RaceKinkSurvey) to find out more and participate. Participants may choose to enter into a drawing to win one of four $25 gift cards.

Thank you for your interest in this research!

Hump History Year Four: Going Fourth!

by Teeebone

The Hump started its fourth year with much fanfare and great expectations after tying with the Grind for the Member's Choice Award in early January. And those expectations were right on target, because 2011 brought in more people, more challenges, and even a crisis that would affect the Hump in the future...

On January 21, 2011, (the Friday before the Hump's Third Birthday/Anniversary) I got to debut my first "solo project," a sex-focused party scheduled on third Fridays called Luv Shack, though later on it would be rebranded as OMG SX! Basically, it was set up to be like the Hump on a Friday night, from 8pm-2am. (Stay tuned for more deets on this party in a future article!)

In April, TK began her EC training. While she was one of our favorite DJs, she also was involved in a number of other parties and projects, like Monday Madness. After this training, she started helping out with the EC duties for the Hump as well.

During the spring and throughout the year, there was a push to promote CSPC events, news and networking through CenterSpace, a website run by the CSPC with user accounts for CSPC members and some basic web page editing capabilities for posting events. The site didn't get as much traffic as FetLife did, however, which by this time had become the unofficial go-to site for many CSPC members.

In July, an incident occurred at the Hump that would change the party forever. A little background first: Once upon a time, impact play was actually allowed at the Hump, just as long as it wasn't too noisy– as in not louder than the dance music. That night in July, a group of attendees thought it would be a really great idea to have a rather loud impact play scene in the Back Room (which was reserved for sex on its many mattresses or its sex sling) for about two hours, much to the detriment of everybody else.

Some attendees belatedly came to us to tell us about it that night and the next day after I had sent the EC report with the details, the Director notified us of an email from one of the attendees. She then recommended that we no longer allow impact play at the Hump, though playful birthday spankings would still be permitted, and asked that the definitions of sex-focused activity and BDSM-focused activity become more detailed and enforced.

That was on Thursday. Over the next two days I analyzed and re-wrote the rules for both the Hump and the Whump to better define what was expected at both parties. Suspensions, rope bondage and sensation play that didn't involve breaking skin would still be allowed at the Hump. The Whump rules were then written to match the rules of a typical CSPC BDSM-focused party. Since the Hump was held in the Main Space and the Whump was held in the RAW Dungeon, there was a degree of separation between the two to help create a different environment for both. By the end of the weekend, the new rules were up on CenterSpace and FetLife.

In October we celebrated Talk Like a Pirate Day (October 19) by having a Pirate Abduction Taster at the Whump. Members were encouraged to sign up as pirates or abductees with prep and negotiation done with the staff. It was truly a unique one-of-a-kind event.

On December 23, 2011, a new party put together and championed by TK called Power Play Mixed-Tape debuted and was such a big hit that it was given the third Saturday slot on the CSPC schedule for the next year. TK put me on as the closing DJ for this event, a post that I still hold to this day.

On January 18th, 2012, the Hump's fourth year ended with the party being canceled due to one of the Seattle area's rare snow-pocalypse weather events that make all road travel hazardous for everybody. 2011 was a difficult year, especially during late July, but all the hard work was worth it whenever we read a sincere thank you note like this one:

The Hump...Thank you :)

Thank you for this wonderful space. Thank you for the beautiful middle eastern and other beats. Thank you for a fun opportunity to put on some belly dancing pretties and dance for my man. It was my first night there to play. Ever. And it was WONDERFUL! Thank you for the strawberry scent in the back room and the nice curtains that provide a semi-private space... But a little voyeuristic too. Heh. A very special night. Looking forward to my next visit…

Until next time… :^)

BDSM Research--Participants Needed!

by Eirikah Delaunay and Georgie Blewett

Hello sexy people! My friend and colleague, Georgie Blewett, is conducting a research study on Stigma and Belonging Amongst Kinky People as part of her studies at the University of St. Andrews, and of course I thought of all of you! If you have a few minutes and would like to add your voice to this important research on how our identities as kinky folks impact the rest of our lives, please read on for the study details and follow the link below to complete the survey.

Thank you! <3

Project: Stigma and Belonging Amongst Kinky People

This study is being conducted as part of my, Georgie Blewett, research study in the School of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of St Andrews.

We invite you to participate in a research project understanding perceptions of stigma, identity, and well-being in the BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, and Sadomasochism) community. In this study you will receive an anonymous questionnaire about your BDSM practices, experiences of stigma and aspects of your well-being that should take no longer than 30 minutes to complete.  The BDSM community is a severely under-researched group, and I would like to provide more insight and understanding on the experience of being kinky.

You will have the chance to win a $50 Amazon voucher if you are in the US, UK, or Canada, or else direct money deposit if you are outside these regions, which incur a small fee.

If you are interested, please click the link to the questionnaire below. You will then be given a Participant Information Sheet that further details my research before being asked whether you consent to participate. If you have any questions, please use the contact details below.

Questionnaire link:

https://qfreeaccountssjc1.az1.qualtrics.com/.../SV...

Contact Details

Researcher: Georgie Blewett

Supervisor: Dr Nicole Tausch

Contact Details: gb223@st-andrews.ac.uk (Researcher)

nt20@st-andrews.ac.uk (Supervisor)

Important: As BDSM is illegal in some countries, if you feel at all at risk, we advise you to delete your browser history and cache so there is no evidence you have taken this questionnaire. A link on how to clear your cache is provided: https://kinsta.com/knowledgebase/how-to-clear-browser-cache/

Hump History Year Three: Third Time's a Charm

by Teeebone

As the Hump entered its third year of operation, about half of the original founding volunteers had left the roster for various reasons. We were fortunate that we were able to find people who shared the same kind of enthusiasm and dedication to the party as the initial team members. I’ve mentioned this before: keeping your party well staffed is a challenge that every Party Champion must face.

In late February, the Hump celebrated Mardi Gras with a King Cake, complete with a "Find the King Cake Baby" contest since it was so much fun the year before. The Hump theme selected by the winner of the contest was a "Hot Buns Night" which was held in July. This event also saw the debut of TK as one of our resident DJs.

In March, the Hump and a few other events got canceled for a week while the CSPC negotiated with an insurance carrier, though we were back online by the next week. During this month we also held a fundraiser to buy and replace the old futons.

In mid-June, there was some discussion about moving the Whump from third Wednesdays to first Wednesdays of the month. The push for this was that while the Whump was held in the RAW Dungeon, the monthly CSPC Board Meetings were being held in the Annex in approximately the same time slot. With a buffer of only 10 feet or so between these two spaces, music and noise would occasionally be heard during the meeting, so it was decided to move the Whump over to first Wednesdays starting in July.

In September, Cuddle Huddle was introduced as a regular feature during the cooler months of the year during the social on third Wednesdays. This event became very popular, bringing in 12-20 attendees wanting to experience and learn more about cuddling. Also included were discussions about touch, intimacy, consent, and boundaries.

By the end of the year, the Hump was scheduling fewer special features than it had in its previous two years. This was due partly to staff (and talent) exhaustion, but also the recognition that the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture (now the Pan Eros Foundation) was better suited for providing workshops and classes for the education of the membership in general. Cuddle Huddle continued, but special features became less frequent from now on.

On January 2nd, 2011 it was formally announced that the Hump had tied the Grind for the Members Choice Award for the 2010 Volunteer Awards. In the space of three years, the Hump had become a well-known fixture at the CSPC. Here are some of the compliments:

"I love the vibe and the people running and attending it."

"There are so many things I haven't tried yet. This party gives me and other new folks an opportunity to try new things in a safe place."

"Social time, good food, dancing, great music, great sex!"

"It's cool, laid back, sensual, conversational, intimate and not too kinky."

"I can actually hang out and talk because the music isn't too loud, but I can also play in the back. Nice having both a social and a play party together."

"Fresh, variety of themes. Excellent party hosts, first rate ambassadors, social and welcoming to everyone. The music is not overpowering. The variety of social-hour "mini workshops" on dance, community issues, etc. They have a better-than-a-cheese-plate food selection usually."

It took us three years to get there, but the Hump had managed to break all expectations in terms of attendance and partygoer experience. And 2011 was just getting started…

Until next time... :^)