Consent Corner 1.12

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers and happy 2021!  We hope you had the best possible holiday season, given the challenging pandemic circumstances.  

We thought we’d offer some resolutions to keep in mind for the upcoming year.  As ever, please take what suits you and leave the rest.

• I’ll celebrate more things - because, well, why not?

• I’ll remember to be grateful more often - ditto.

• I’ll honor myself in body, mind, and spirit - that’s the essence of consent. 

• I’ll continue to practice good consent in all of my interactions - because you know that practice makes things better.

• I’ll continue to check out what’s going on in Consent Corner - okay, it’s shameless self-promotion, but you know you want to!

• I’ll try to give others the benefit of the doubt when I can - that’s a key message in Malcolm Gladwell’s new book “Talking to Strangers”, because we don’t always know what others are thinking or feeling.

• I’ll step up where I can to help build stronger communities - the CSPC can benefit from your wisdom, love, and skills.  Get more involved and help build the kind of community you want in your life!  

Got some great resolutions you want to share?  Got some feedback?  Send it to:  info@thecspc.org.  

Remembering Allena Gabosch

For any who missed Allena’s memorial event, the Pan Eros Foundation has kindly posted the video of the memorial service on their webpage (scroll down to the December 14th update). Below the video are transcripts of some of the speeches and the chat log from the online event, all lovingly curated by the Pan Eros Foundation.

Also, Dixie De La Tour has generously made available the video of the Bawdy Storytelling livestream Allena appeared in on November 21st.

Leadership Spotlight: Teeebone

This is the thirteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at longtime volunteer and Event Coordinator, Teeebone.

• Scene name:

  • Teeebone

• Pronouns:

  • he/him

• How do you identify?

  • Male, heterosexual, top, polyamorous.

• How long have you been with the CSPC?

  • 17+ years.

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

  • A friend kept urging me to join the CSPC. They said it was relevent to my interests of sex, community & BDSM.

• Roles/areas you cover:

  • I coordinate events and/or handle music at CSPC parties.

• What was your path to your current position?

  • First 2 years, I was a member; then 3 years of volunteering as a DJ & Ambassador and then 12 years as an Event Coordinator, Champion and most recently Zoom Meeting Moderator.

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

  • The Hump - Weekly on Wednesday nights. 

• Career:

  • Graphic Design

• What do you like to do in your free time?

  • Video or pc gaming, reading, eating sweets.

• Partners:

  • In an Open Relationship. (6+ years)

• Fun fact:

  • While I’m a big fan of cats, I can’t have one live with me because I’m mildly allergic to them. :3

• Turn-ons:

  • Watching folks play at the events. Especially the events I run.

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

  • My hope is that the CSPC will find a new home and start hosting in-person events again.

• Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

  • Take your time in your membership within the community. Ask questions and get educated. There is a “getting to know you” period where you need to introduce yourself. Don’t think of this place as a sex or BDSM club - Think of it as a place where you could have sex or engage in BDSM activity (or even both) with somebody you care about who also cares about you. True fact: The CSPC is where I learned how to hug. :3

Consent Corner 1.11

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Holiday greetings from your friends at Consent Corner!  We wish you a safe and sexy holiday season.  Is it 2021 yet?  We’re ready to start a consent-focused new year, so stay tuned for that.

Homework:  summon gratitude for at least one thing that happened to you in 2020.  As a song by the band Orbital says, “even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day.”

Please direct holiday greetings or questions to:  info@thecspc.org.

Leadership Spotlight: Sakari

This is the twelfth of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our new Board Member and Communications Director, Sakari.

• Name:

  • Sakari

• Pronouns:

  • She/her

• How do you identify?

  • I am a collared, submissive transgender woman. My Mistress has a laundry list of different names for me including: Maid, pony, puppy, baby, princess, bunny, cook, chauffeur, moo cow and etc.

• How long have you been with the CSPC?

  • About 8 years now

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

  • I moved to Seattle in 2011 to transition in a welcoming environment. After searching around for like-minded people, I found the Center. My first parties were the Femdom teas and I fell in love. My main kinks are service, roleplay of the age and pet variety usually, impact, all forms of bondage and sensation play.

• CSPC e-mail address, title, areas you cover:

  • sakaricspc@gmail.com Communications Director. Please contact me if you’re interested in volunteering for the Communications Team. We are currently looking for someone well-versed in social media. I would also be more than willing to talk to any trans girls in the CSPC community who need a shoulder or just some advice. A kind stranger guided me when I first got to town and I am happy to do the same.

• What was your path to your current position?

  • I think the CSPC’s mission is of vital importance to the Seattle community and, frankly, the world at large. I also owe the CSPC a huge debt because I met my wonderful Mistress and partner at a CSPC party called Women on Top. I’ve been a volunteer for some years now and when I saw a chance to help in a larger capacity I jumped for it. I really want this place to thrive.

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

  • The Femme Soverign Teas are my absolute favorite. As a service submissive and aspiring maid I cannot emphasize how much a dream these events can be. All of the fantasy is there before you: a room of discerning dommes, a day of prostration and service and I get to put on my cutest, sluttiest maid outfit! Close runners up are the F*cking Precious ageplay party and the All In pan-party. SPOILER: I helped champion all three!

• Career or day job:

  • 24/7 kinky maid service for my Mistress =)

• What do you like to do in your free time?

  • Videooooo gaaammmmeeeeeeez

• Living situation:

  • I live with my Mistress and our two cats in the Greenwood neighborhood.

• Fun fact:

  • Everyone I meet compliments my curly hair but before I transitioned I never grew it out more than an inch so I never knew it was a thing!

• Turn-ons and squicks: 

  • I’m wildly turned on by softness. I love the feel of soft thigh-highs or fuzzy sweaters. I would assuredly be a furry if I could afford one of those suits, plus I think costumes are fun. I also love having control taken away via bondage. I especially like gags. As for squicks, it’s the usual: waste products, children, non-consent. Also not into impact that draws blood.

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

  • I am very much looking forward to the CSPC weathering the COVID storm and getting back to hosting parties in our own space. My biggest concern is getting that space and making sure it fits our needs while still being affordable for the long-term. It’s my hope, once we do have space, that we skirt the line between cool, kink club and awesome kink community center.

• Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

  • To the new member I would say: If you are looking for a certain someone or experience, don’t give up if you don’t find it right away. I was getting discouraged going to Femdom teas and not getting play or meeting anyone. The day I said I was done going to the Center my roommate did my makeup and pushed me out the door to a Women on Top party. That was the day I met my Mistress. Also, don’t be afraid to let your colors show at these parties. Dress to impress. Don’t be afraid to respectfully approach someone. People won’t get the idea until you give it to them.

• Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

  • One of the kind owners at Wild at Heart on Leary St. pointed me toward the CSPC when I first moved here. It’s a great female-run adult store with a nice BDSM section.

• How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

  • I always tell myself that karma is real. It’s scientific, really. For every action there is a reaction. I think just giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, extending your hand in friendship first can go a long way to making this world better.

• Anything else we should know?

  • The Center for Sex Positive Culture and all of the organizations like it embody freedom of the self. Freedom is our most important resource and it must be closely guarded and nurtured or we will lose it and be worse off for it.

Consent Corner 1.10

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Welcome back, dear readers, to our ongoing journey through the world of consent. Consent maven Rachel Drake is our wise and wonderful guide.

December, for many of us, signals the start of many holiday celebrations. How can we celebrate in 2020? We’re glad you asked.

You may need to negotiate or decline invitations this year to protect your well-being. How can you do that with respect and grace?

Others may need to negotiate or decline an invitation that you’ve offered. How can you do that gracefully?

What if you have multiple partners? How do power dynamics influence your discussions? How are you defining your family?

The good news is that we have an opportunity to dig deep into our understanding of how consent is present in our lives. We get to find out where our lines for autonomy are. We get to consider what we need and want for our mind, body, and spirit. We get a clearer understanding of what our significant others need and want, too.

The better news is that we have the freedom to practice communicating with honesty and integrity. When we state our needs and wants and truly listen to others, we can create an agreement for the holidays and beyond.

Here’s a tip: start these conversations early. Give yourself and others time to ponder an agreement. You may want to sleep on the questions or discuss them with others. Take all the time you need. Consider the agreement an open document, subject to revision as life shifts around us.

Holidays offer us an opportunity to exercise compassion for ourselves and others. Actually, every day offers us that opportunity, and there’s never a better time than the present to start the practice. So, let’s get on it!

Got holiday wishes or questions for us? Let us know at info@thecspc.org.

Allena Gabosch passes away

We are sad to report that Allena Gabosch passed away, on to her next adventure, on 11/25/2020, after a long battle with cancer. Allena was an amazing person who embodied the movement of sex positivity, and she touched so many of our lives in profound ways. She was one of the Center for Sex Positive Culture’s founders, our leader, and our spiritual compass for many years. We will honor her legacy as we guide her organization into the future. Please join us in lighting a candle, donning a tiara, and eating some bacon in her memory. We will miss you, Allena.

Photo credit: Jim Duvall photography.

Local Orgs Come Together for Transgender Awareness Week

This is Transgender Awareness Week, culminating with the observance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance on Friday, November 20th. The GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) website has good suggestions about how to observe and celebrate Trans Awareness Week.

Seattle organization Gay City has created a page with more local events (which are hosted by UTOPIA and Ingersoll Gender Center), and have put together a campaign to promote community artwork relating to issues facing trans people. They are accepting submissions through the end of today, so if you have a piece that you think would fit, see the guidelines on their Trans Day of Remembrance page. Regarding Trans Awareness Week, Gay City's Executive Director Fred Swanson gave us the following statement:

"Gay City is happy to elevate and amplify the voices of trans and gender diverse artists and organizers as we commemorate Transgender Day of Remembrance together. As we fight for the right for trans and gender diverse communities to exist and thrive with dignity and respect, we must remember those who have come before us, whose lives were lost because of hatred and bigotry. We honor their lives and their legacy."

Consent Corner 1.9.1

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Greetings, lovely readers.  This is the time of year when we think of gratitude.  We’re grateful for you, brave believer in the value of sex positivity.  Long may our collective freak flag fly!  

Homework:  Cultivate a grateful heart and thank those you love for sharing this time with you.  Please.  And, thank you.

You can thank us at:  info@thecspc.org.