Protecting Our Community--COVID Policies and Practices

Hello our marvelous members and vivacious volunteers,

November marked our third month of hosting in-person events, and we couldn’t be more excited to see all of you coming out to play with us! 

This was also the month during which we had our first member report a COVID-19 infection after attending one of our events. Our best information at this time indicates that the infection was likely contracted prior to our event. All attendees and volunteers have been notified, and we want to share this here in full transparency. The fact that we’ve gone this long with only one known infection is on one hand an indicator that the precautions we’re taking are effective. On the other hand, this is a reminder that no precautions are perfect, and we should all continue to be cautious.

Communicating symptoms and/or positive test results to people we’re in contact with is an important part of keeping one another safe. We encourage anybody who suspects they might have COVID after having recently attended an event to alert any play partners as soon as possible, to get tested, and to email info@thecspc.org to notify the CSPC Board of any positive tests so that we can help keep other attendees informed. Transparency is important not just for managing risks, but also helps us all practice fully informed consent.

Meeting in person has some risks, as we all know. We’re attempting to manage these risks using a multi-level defense strategy:

• We currently limit event sizes to 100 tickets sold, plus up to 20 volunteers. In practice, all of our events so far have had fewer than 100 people total due to no-shows.

• We require proof of full vaccination of all attendees and volunteers. Booster doses are not currently required, and we will continue to evaluate this policy and King County requirements around vaccination.

• We require attendees and volunteers to keep masked at all times other than when mask removal is needed (for eating, drinking, or using your mouth in a scene).

• We provide condoms and other safer sex materials, and encourage their use. These are primarily useful for prevention of unwanted pregnancy and STIs, but they could in some cases reduce risk of COVID transmission (e.g. the possibility of transmission through semen or fecal matter).

• We encourage full communication surrounding risks and testing, both before and after scenes.

Some of these methods require work on the part of our members. The payoff from doing this work is helping to protect the health of the community as a whole, so that we are all able to continue to meet and play as safely as possible.

Here is current guidance from the CDC regarding self-isolation periods, which we ask all members to observe strictly if you should have or suspect a COVID infection. We encourage members to use tools like WA Notify, which exchanges codes with other users’ phones anonymously and can provide notifications of possible exposure much faster than we can share them. 

We’d also like to mention that if you’re not feeling well as an event approaches, we will gladly help move your tickets to a later event or credit your account. We want to help everybody make choices based on informed consent, to better protect yourself and our shared community.

Stay safe, stay sexy,

--The CSPC Board of Directors

Black Ties & Alibis NYE 2021

“You’ve got mail!”

My hand shook as I reached for my mouse. Only one contact is associated with that notification. I admit to being a bit of a romantic movie enthusiast.

“Anonymous has purchased you a guest ticket to the Black Ties & Alibis Gala at the Center for Sex Positive Culture on Friday, December 31st, 2021. Please arrive at 8:30 pm and await instructions from Anonymous.”

I felt the blood drain from my face as I suddenly felt a surge of blossoming heat elsewhere. Breathe. Okay, breathe deeper. What did I get myself into? Where is the website? There’s gotta be a website. There’s always a website, right? Ahhh...there it is!

https://thecspc.org

Let’s just click on... everything! Hmmm... no ominous pictures of dirty places and rusty shackles. No porn website ads. Pretty classy actually. Hmmm... I watch too many movies.

You have mail…mail…mail!

You have an encrypted message in chat! (from Anon)

Anon: Did you receive my gift?

Anon: Will you be able to clear your evening?

Anon: Wear something sexy... no underwear.

Me: Anonymous?

Anon: Yes?

Me: How will I recognize you?

Anon: I will be the one biting your neck.

Me: ...Ummm...

Anon: With your prior consent, of course.

Me: This whole year and I’ve never met you in person. I don’t even know what you do.

Anon: That’s because I’m classified.

Me: So do I call you Mr. Anonymous in person or Sir?

Anon: You are assuming my gender, that’s cute. Do you have a preference?

Me: I never thought about that. What do I call you then?

Anon: The Japanese have a saying: “Sore wa, hi mitsu desu.”

Anon: It simply means “That is a secret.” Being respectful is a core tenant of my house.

Me: Much to unpack there.

Anon: Let me reassure you that we shall spend a glorious evening together- Enjoying mock-tails or the divination of a real Tarot reader. There will be professional DJs, dancing, a live auction and even rides on a Sybian.

Me: Is that some kind of horse?

Anon: Well I suppose we should leave some mysteries to be solved at the gala!

Me: I saw that there is a spy game called “Codenames”- If your codename is Anonymous- Could someone else have the same name?

Anon: I guess there may be more than one Anonymous- But figuring out who is the real one is could win you an awesome prize, that prize being our date. >:)

Anon: We will toast the New Year and your mission- should you choose to accept it- is to scene with me. Our first scene ever in the New Year! Let the negotiations begin!

Me: Bring it on, Anonymous! I’ve got a pair of sparkly new 5“ inch heels to break in!

This chat has ended.

Tickets are $50. Get your tickets today! See the event listing for a complete description of all the enticing festivities included with the ticket price.

Community Matters

By Eirikah Delaunay

You know the CSPC’s mission, right? The Center for Sex Positive Culture creates spaces to celebrate, develop, and explore sexuality and sensuality among a diverse, supportive community.

One of the defining features of a true Community is the sense of belonging that comes from contributing to its well being. At the CSPC, that might mean volunteering your time at parties or behind the scenes, donating your financial abundance, sharing your great ideas, adding your energy and enthusiasm to our many online and in-person events, and using your voice on Discord and our social media spaces to connect with and support each other.

The CSPC is an organization created by our members in order to serve our members. As the number of in-person parties increases, so does our need for trained volunteers! The more volunteers we have able to serve at events, the more events we can offer. Volunteering is also a fantastic way to get to know other CSPC members and build your personal circle of friends within the larger Community. Join the volunteer team today!

Now is also an excellent time to purchase a membership renewal. Standard membership dues will be going up to $10 per month for monthly membership or $100 per year for annual membership in January 2022, with Low-Income and Supporter membership levels available to allow members to easily select the price point that best reflects their ability to support the Community that adds so much to all our lives. Renewing now lets you lock in our current rates (only $5 per month) for up to a year. Treat yourself this holiday season to the gift of CSPC membership. You can give yourself access to all our Community benefits--our play parties, discussion groups, Discord server, etc.--for a whole year to come!

However you contribute to the CSPC Community, thank you! Your generosity of time, money, thought, and energy is what makes our Community what it is. 

Consent Corner 2.4

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello, dear readers! How lovely to be with you again on this journey through the wild and wonderful world of consent. 

We’re continuing to build our model for good consent: a structure that will happily house our consent agreements and be welcoming to others. Let’s take a minute (or six) to ponder the kind of structure we want to create.

We’ve already considered some key features of the building: it’ll be built on the solid ground of respect; it’ll have a strong foundation of personal autonomy; it’ll have supporting columns of capacity, information, and agreement; and its roof will be others’ autonomy. But what kind of building will it be?

The good news is that since it’s imaginary, we don’t have to concern ourselves at all with building codes or materials or costs. The better news is that it can look like anything your heart desires, so go ahead and dream big!  

We suggest that your image of the structure be as detailed as possible, knowing that it can change at any time for any reason. Picture in your mind’s eye its location--are you near water or mountains or a busy metropolis? Picture the building itself--is it a welcoming place?  What will the pillars be made of--do you see stone columns as in ancient ruins, or is there lots of glass?  Are there comfortable seating/playing areas? Where will you keep all of your wonderful toys?  Will there be a media space to keep up with Consent Corner and what your CSPC friends are doing?  

Your structure will be a safe place, even as it’s under construction. It will support you always, regardless of any storm or other unpleasantness that may arrive. And it will welcome others whenever and however you choose.  

Your building can be a place to go when you want to ponder some aspect of consent.  When you picture yourself there, you’re surrounded by love and light--a perfect environment for making good choices. Or not--but then you get to go back to this safe place and reflect on what a friend of ours lovingly refers to as “another f*$&ing opportunity for growth.” We know those far too well!  

Homework: create a picture of the consent building you’re constructing in your imagination, making it as detailed as you can.  Extra Credit: make a sketch of it and send a copy of it to us at: info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel 

Consent Corner 2.3

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers!  We hope you’re staying snug and dry as the weather becomes wetter and chillier.  This column considers all aspects of consent, using your questions and comments as a guide.

In versions 2.1 and 2.2, we reintroduced our model of consent as equivalent to a strong, sustainable building.  Creating good consent in our lives means that we construct the building on the solid ground of respectful relations.  Then we build the foundation, which represents our personal autonomy - the right to choose what nurtures our body, mind, and spirit.  We create pillars on this foundation:  capacity, information, and agreement.  These pillars hold up the autonomy of others, which is our building’s roof.

Those previous columns were about respect and autonomy.  It’s time to start crafting the pillars that will rest securely on our foundation.  Today we’d like to ponder the notion of Capacity.  In the context of consent, capacity represents your ability to give rational and voluntary consent to an activity.

So many things can interfere with our ability to operate at full capacity:  strong emotions, hunger, mood-altering substances, weariness, and physical pain or pleasure, to name just a few.  Add your own favorites to the list and you can see why we say that none of us is ever operating at 100% capacity.

So, relax and just notice what’s going on with you before you make a consent-related decision.  How do you feel physically and emotionally?  Are you noticing anything on the fringes of your awareness?

Maybe you want to have a conversation with your partner(s) about your capacity.  Maybe your partner(s) want to talk about their capacity.  Great!  Sneak preview:  we’ll be talking a lot about communication in upcoming newsletters.

Homework:  Sometime this week, pick a day and check in with yourself throughout the day.  Notice how your capacity to make good decisions might change over the course of that day.  Notice anything puzzling?  Good!

Send your puzzling questions to:  info@thecspc.org.  As always, praise and compliments are welcome there, too. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

PPMT Reminiscing

By Turtle and Teeebone 

Teeebone and I are sitting here by Zoom reminiscing about the “Good ol’ days” like we all promise not to do when we are young. “I’ll never do that…sit around thinking about Remember When…I’ll be too busy living!” Well, guess what? We are doing both! Double the pleasure, double the fun, with… oooo! Sorry for the earworm!

The Good Ol’ Days circa 2012-2016 at the CSPC Interbay location, 3rd Saturdays at the PPMT (Power Play Mixed-Tape) party. In fact, I asked someone to volunteer at the upcoming party and they said they weren’t available on the 3rd Saturday. I said, “Great! Because it isn’t on the 3rd Saturday anymore! It’s a whole new world! Oops! Second earworm!”

I asked some of the previous Power Players what stuck out most to them. “Boobie dancing, Buffet Table, feeling surrounded by scenes everywhere, high energy, intense scenes, dancing in my underwear, dancing free, the feeling of comradeship on the Team, great music, boobie dancing, good friends, great conversations, warm Hosts, Fucktastic music, heavy players, possible blood scenes, amazing mix of laughter and screams, getting stuffed at TK’s Buffet, pogo dancing so hard I hit my head on the heater, everyone dressed up, everybody naked. You’re sexy and you know it!”

Teeebone - “That feel you get when you experience compersion while watching your former primary partner having their first DP scene some 12 feet away while you're being the DJ at PPMT. Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend!”

Turtle - “That feeling of being surrounded by friends even if you don’t know them! I miss that so much! We openly welcome everyone and we will be talking, a certain song will come on and we will all rush to the dance floor together! Everyone included!”

Teeebone - “That feeling you get when you have had an intense scene and then realize you are the closing DJ. Whoomp there it is!”

Turtle - “I had a few anthems the Team would all dance to but before everyone got there, we’d have a Pep Rally that always ended with us singing C is for Cookie!”

Teeebone - “I loved those cookies. They were the best.”

Turtle - “We were a family. A family that exists to this day. When we wanted to set up a general, heavy play party again…we realized just how far our existing volunteers were stretched. Hell, 50% of the volunteers are Board members. So, it's been 5 years since the last PPMT, and I started texting. Amazing PPMT members answer with just ‘I’m In’ then go and renew their membership. It’s that kind of dedication, love and camaraderie we at PPMT live for. I’m so grateful for them Re-Igniting Their Fires to bring PPMT back to life!”

Teeebone - *yells* “I got it! That feel you get when somebody says straight to 3 DJs’ faces ‘do you have any music I can dance to?’ and you've been playing Dance music all night long. The only right answer to this question: I'M SORRY. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO DANCE MUSIC WHATSOEVER!” 

Turtle - “And the look on Sir Nikolia’s face that suggested the heat of a 1,000 suns… Well, we’ll leave it at that! Actually, she came back later to thank us for playing the Rolling Stones. Who knew?”

Every summer, when Paradise (our annual camping trip) would roll around, PPMT would follow it. We’d have a sarong night called, “Sarong, it’s So Right!” One year, the Paradise theme was to Keep the Fires Burning. I could have never imagined, at the time, something like a modern day plague taking humanity out at the knees. That we’d let our fires burn low into coals. That fire is still there though. PPMT and all the other CSPC programming plan to help breathe those fires back to life…to Reignite them into a conflagration of passion for ourselves and our community. Come out. Become whole again! Volunteer and make space for others to become whole too!

Turtle - “I loved that the staff, no matter the name tag, all worked together to make great things happen. They could have happened at any party. But PPMT just refuses to notice that there is a box at all, much less lines to color in.”

Teeebone - “The concept of the crew as ‘Fam’ was very strong with PPMT.”

Turtle - “You keep hearing hints about TK’s Buffet. Trust me. What’s there isn’t food but, if you have a vagina, you can still get stuffed! You have to come to PPMT and see it to believe it.”

Teeebone - “We like to think of it as an immersive experience.” *laughs* “Two of my partners have been to the Buffet Table and rate it 5 thumbs up!”

Turtle - “We are both DJs as is Sir Nikolia. We love music! We play it loud! It is important to us. So bring your earplugs or headphones if you need them. Also, if the music fits the theme and you contact us beforehand, we’ve been known to play certain songs for a scene. Be nice or we might Rick Roll you! We are Never Gonna Give You Up!”

Teeebone - “Get yourself ready for a hot night with a 5-finger sex punch!”

First half is Dance, EDM. Second half is Rock and Mashups. ppmt@thecspc.org

Come to Power Play Mixed Tape and let your body talk!

Call for artists! Join in Paddlepalooza: a toy auction to support the Center!

The CSPC needs your creative (and other) juices flowing for Paddlepalooza! This promotion will gather hand-crafted/decorated unused BDSM toys from our members and auction them off to the highest bidder. Proceeds from this charity auction will go to the CSPC as donations, and the artist who brings in the highest bids with their toy will win a fabulous prize (details to be announced soon)!

How to make and submit your smacking-good art:

1. Your Paddlepalooza donation of $25 gets your art a spot in the auction (and you get a wooden paddle to hand paint/decorate)

a. Click here to donate $25 to the CSPC’s Paddlepalooza fund (scholarships may be available). Please email paddleme@thecspc.org if you have any questions or need assistance.

b. We will provide you with a Greek-style blank wooden paddle to use as a starting point. You can pick up your pristine paddle by attending one of our events at the Gallery Erato or at a location nearer to you by arranging with our Paddlepalooza personnel. We can send paddles by post if pickup proves problematic.

2. Paint, engrave, or otherwise pretty up your paddle. You are not required to use the paddle provided -- it’s okay to keep the paddle and submit another hand-crafted/decorated BDSM toy for the fundraiser auction.

3. Submit to the CSPC:

a. The original item you’ve created (all work MUST be original and of your own crafting)

b. One or more photos of the item (we will select one to display on our web site)

c. A title for the item (can be “untitled”), and any details or stories you’d like shared with the paddle

d. An indication whether it’s intended to be decorative or functional (so a prospective buyer knows whether it can be used in play)

e. Name and contact info for you, the artist (can include website/e-commerce site, email, or social media links if you’d like to promote in this way)

Early bird date for submissions: December 1st, 2021

As soon as we receive your submission, we will publish a photo of the item (with its title as well as the artist’s name and contact info) in our rotating Paddlepalooza gallery! Multiple submissions are allowed. We will promote the gallery several times in our newsletters and social media during the submissions period and leading up to the auction, so the earlier you get your artwork in to us, the longer it will generate free publicity in the gallery.

What happens to the paddles/toys?

As soon as we have enough submissions (likely mid-December to mid-January) we will promote and host a charity auction to benefit the CSPC, at which all paddles will be auctioned. This will get even more eyes on your artwork, and best of all, the item that commands the highest bid will win a fabulous prize for the artist who submitted it!

Consent Corner 2.2

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Dearest Reader,

We offer you warm greetings in these crisp autumn days, and thank you for joining us on this journey through the nuances of consent.  We’re grateful to be a part of the CSPC’s community and its communications with you.  

In the last newsletter we reviewed our consent model and likened it to building a strong and enduring structure.  We noted that we’re well advised to build our structure’s foundation on a solid ground of respect.  The foundation is what we’re considering today, and it represents Autonomy.  Specifically, for you, the foundation means your own Autonomy.

Autonomy is the act of self-government or self-determination.  You get to decide what’s good for you:  what will nurture your mind, body and spirit.  

Your foundation is yours alone, and doesn’t have to resemble anyone else’s.  You can listen to suggestions about how you might reconsider what’s good for you, but ultimately it’s your life, and you get to decide how you’re going to live it.  Yay you!  

You have the right to appreciate whatever it is that you do appreciate, along with other consenting beings.  You have the right to allow something today that you didn’t allow yesterday, and vice versa - and what’s a little vice among friends?  You’re changing all the time, and your wants and needs will change, too.  Just keep your partner(s) in the loop about it.  Sneak preview:  communication is another integral part of our consent structure that we’ll talk about in an upcoming column!  

We’ve been fortunate enough to have met some people who always seem to be on their own side, no matter what.  They’re unfailingly kind to themselves, even as they face what would appear to be challenges.  They tend to see unfortunate experiences not as errors, but rather as learning opportunities.  We’re absolutely in awe of such people, and we encourage you to follow their example as you build your own foundation of Autonomy.  

Homework:  take 5 minutes, get comfortable, and ponder what nourishes you in mind, body and spirit.  Just notice what arises for you.  And, today or tomorrow, make one of them so.  

Got compliments?  You can appreciate us at:  info@thecspc.org. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Leadership Spotlight: Eirikah

This is the fifteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our newest Board Member, Eirikah.

• Name/scene name:

  • Eirikah Delaunay

• Pronouns:

  • she/her

• How do you identify?

  • I identify as a polyamorous bisexual cis-woman, sadomasochist, and typically Dominant-leaning Switch.

• How long have you been with the CSPC?

  • I’ve been a member of the CSPC for 10 years.

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

  • I first experienced and embraced kink and sacred sexuality at 18 years old after being raised Baptist in the American Deep South. I kept these essential parts of myself super private for the next two decades out of fear of judgment. I felt isolated in my belief that sex-positive community was just a fantasy found in books and movies. I relocated to Seattle with my family in 2010, and a year later an online date mentioned The Crucible in Washington, DC. Through the magic of Google (BDSM+club+Seattle), I found the CSPC. My first event was a social night to scout the vibe before attending a tasting event the next night. I was so nervous that my partner and I sat in the car in the parking lot for a half hour before going inside. When we finally did, we found a circle of people just like us--many ages, many genders, many shapes and sizes, all smiling--who enthusiastically welcomed us, showed us the space, and were excited to see us again the next night, where I got to try “take down and struggle play” as a kink thing for the first time. I had finally found “my people.” 

• CSPC e-mail, role, areas you cover:

  • Eirikah@thecspc.org, Board Member, mission alignment and communications

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

  • Over the years, I’ve enjoyed participating in the Sacred Sexuality group and the Erotic Hypnosis group at the CSPC. D/s is a core element of all my erotic relationships, and I loved the dynamic of Libertine Social Club, Wildfire, and the Ladies’ Sovereign Tea. As a bit of an introvert who likes to play hard, however, my favorite event was Monday Madness. I loved the smaller, quieter, more intimate gathering with many of the folks who’d spent their weekends volunteering at the larger weekend events and did their own playing at Monday Madness. I also loved the tasting events as a way for folks to learn more about what they enjoy and how to practice different kinds of play more safely, and I loved the intensity and creativity of Asylum.

• Career or day job:

  • After a long career in academia, I am now a somatic sex+magic coach at Desire Alchemy (https://desirealchemy.com) who offers individual, partnered, and group coaching for people curious and excited about using effective communication, magic, sexuality, kink, and/or power exchange relationships as vehicles for personal growth and bliss. 

• What do you like to do in your free time?

  • I love spending time with my partners, hanging out in nature, gardening, reading, reading tarot and astrology charts, and making art.

• Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

  • I live with my nesting partner, a huge floofy cat with too many names, and a jungle of plants he desperately wants to eat. My two adult children live nearby, but not with me.

• Something no one would ever guess about you:

  • I co-owned an independent hip-hop record label in the early 2000’s.

• Turn-ons: 

  • Turn-ons: flirting, language, curiosity, collaborative kink, laughter, boundaries given and received with clarity and gratitude, personal responsibility, kindness. “More, please.”

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC:

  • I’m looking forward to helping strengthen the sense of community within the CSPC. All of us have resources to contribute, and all of us can benefit by sharing the resources we have. Energy, enthusiasm, volunteer time, financial donations, great ideas, visibility--all of these resources and many others are essential to creating a welcoming and supportive space where diverse folks can celebrate, develop, and explore sexuality and sensuality.

• Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

  • Connect with an existing volunteer! We would love to help you connect with the service opportunities, events, and other like-minded humans that you’re looking for.

Black and white photo credit: Mitzie Gibson