Say What? Sex Positive Dictionary

by Eirikah Delaunay

I had such a fabulous time at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) last weekend! I got to have hundreds of short, sexy conversations with festival patrons at the sponsorship table for my sex+relationship coaching practice, Desire Alchemy, using my “Let’s Talk About. . .” conversation cards. One of the things that came up over and over again was just how many definitions people have for the words we use in the sex positive community, and how confusing related words can be–edging vs. edge play, for instance. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how many different kinds of play people with different experiences might classify as edge play.

To help folks better understand each other in the context of our shared sex positive community, the CSPC is seeking assistance from our members to create a crowd-sourced Sex Positive Dictionary. We’ll share a short list of words here in the newsletter periodically to solicit YOUR definitions to be shared with your peers in an online resource, similar to the Urban Dictionary.

In April, we shared five words for your definition generation pleasure. Huge thanks to those who submitted! Some sample responses:

• Brat–A bottom/submissive who tends to act out in ways that are likely to bring chastisement, restrictions, or punishment from their Top/Dominant, typically for the mutual enjoyment of both. Usage example: “I love giving a brat the spankings they are clearly asking for.”  –7

• Genderfluid–Identifying as two or more genders (not necessarily feminine or masculine), in a way that shifts between those genders over a period of time. Usage example: “I am male-bodied but I fluctuate between being in nonbinary-identifying and strongly female-identifying modes.” –7

• Impact Play–Sexual or sensual consensual play in which some implement is used to hit another’s body.  Implements can include:  hand, flogger, whip, wooden spoon, cane,and paddle.  Know which parts of the body will be happy to get that impact and which will cause lasting distress. –M@

• Primal–An animalistic/primitive style of play, often with aspects of consensual non-consent (chasing, wrestling, capture, etc.) and unrestrained expression (scratches, bites, growls, and the like). Also, a kink identity as one favoring such play, sometimes with Top/bottom identities such as “primal Dom/sub/hunter/prey/switch.” (Not to be confused with Optimus Primal: roleplaying as an Autobot for purposes of seducing Megan Fox.)

• Sensation Play–Using a variety of objects or techniques to create different physical sensations, such as fur, feathers, claws, knives, temperature play with ice or hot wax, etc. Can include scratching, biting, pinching, stroking, and other sensations. Might also target other senses besides touch. –E

Our words for May reflect common questions from our newer members:

• Bottom

• Top

• Scene

• Scene Name

• Safeword

How would you define these terms in your experience? Tell us at sexpositivedictionary@thecspc.org! Be sure to include the initials you’d like us to use to identify your contributions. We may share them on Discord, social media, and the newsletter, as well as the dictionary platform when it’s complete.

Have a Spanking Good Time at LaQueer!

By 7

The first time I had a plan to attend LaQueer, I was riddled with anxiety. I didn’t have anything really queerfabulous to wear, so I often came across presenting as cisgendered. My Domme persona only really comes out in dynamics and scenes with submissives, and I had no partner to bring along. Was I queer enough to hang out with the cool queer people?

A very wise friend has informed me that this kind of imposter syndrome is basically an indicator that yes, I am queer enough. Because people who are not queer do not have anxiety about whether they are queer enough to hang out with the cool queer people.

So I’m passing on this message to you. You are queer enough, and we love that about you! Come out to LaQueer and be part of our weird and wonderful community. 

We’ll have a tour of the space for people new to the Gallery, volunteers to help with any questions/advice you might need, and this month we’re trying an Impact Line of Dominoes: Anyone willing to participate will form a circular line, each with a toy of choice. One person will be the first to spank the person in front of them, who will then spank the next person, and so on, all the way around the circle. Circles don’t end, so this might continue round and round until we all fall down! ;-)

The fact that you get to perv on (and possibly take part in) some creative and smoking-hot scenes set to music by amazing queer artists will be icing on the cake.

Just a Taste of Wicked Wordplay

By Eirikah Delaunay

Wicked Wordplay is coming soon! Join us online next Wednesday, 4/27, from 6-8pm to share a half hour of co-writing time followed by readings by writers who choose to share their smokin’ hot words with the group.

Your co-hosts, Chel and Eirikah, offer a prompt to guide your writing if desired, but you are free to follow your own erotic and creative impulse. During reading time, writers can share their freshly written words or something else they’d like to read to our appreciative collective. Not a writer, but love storytime? This event is for you, too! 

At our inaugural event in March, the writing prompt was “Play Space: Imagine your ideal sensual/sexual environment. Is it a BDSM dungeon, wild outdoors, cozy bedroom, or some other special place? Write a detailed description.” The brief extracts below offer just a little taste of some of the pieces shared by attendees that night:

The sunlight slant on your warm skin, playing off your fur; the silver and gold of your bristly, close-cropped beard; the soft brown of your chest hair and sparkling ginger of your still-damp belly and groin. You are so relaxed, stretched out on our air mattress. I envy you your quick transition after the hazardous trek back from the makeshift shower across the rocks, and roots, and mud of the campsite. I’m still struggling to kick off my boot, wet foot refusing to let go as I wobble wildly, half in and half out of our tent, trying to keep the dirt out, now that we are finally clean. You’re laughing at me, even as you reach up to steady me, hand pressed firmly against the back of my thigh.

–Skitty

This is it. The lighting set to low—goddamn LEDs looking fine as hell. Red cast on everything, the sheets, the pillows, the wood, the leather.

We’ve wanted this for years, my love. Talked about the st. andrews cross and the automatic fucking machine. We’ve joked about the firmness of positional pillows, and the wall of whips and paddles. The displays took too long to make, had too many splinters, and god, who can forget the paint spill?

The crash, the blackness draining from the bucket all around you on our carefully laid plastic sheeting. How you covered your face and apologized for your clumsiness. How I ignored your embarrassment and climbed on top of you, pushing you into the tar-like sea. Black handprints on your paint shirt, black strokes on your jawline. My kisses left no mark but a memory.

–Chel

They gave others on the street a wide berth, since they liked to go maskless outdoors. The road to the beach was downhill the whole way, and even in November she stopped to take pictures of the unseasonable flowers or the pattern of mulch left in the gutter after a hard rain. At the beach, the water stretched into the distance, small, insistent waves lapping the shore. A few dog owners strolled idly in the shoreline park, watching the ferry boats come and go.

They settled on the bench she liked, the one that was slightly sheltered from the wind by a large rock.

“I want to give you a treat,” she began. “May I?”

He was curious about what sort of treat she could possibly give him on the public park bench, exposed to so many watchful eyes. “Yes,” he said with only a little hesitation.

–Eirikah

They met at a Starbucks and decided to walk into the woods, except the woods were just a small stand of trees at the edge of an apartment development, more like the representation of woods. He held her hand as they walked into those trees, looking around for a spot of green thick enough to hide them from the road and the apartment windows. While he scoped it out, he listened to her talk about her favorite poets. A part of him would have gladly listened to her opine on poetry for hours, but another part of him pushed her firmly against a tree, smiled, then kissed her deeply. That tree became their first impromptu play space. He pushed his body hard against hers. After minutes of soft kisses, he pulled back, then rested his palm against her cheek. He waited a moment, kissed her once more, then slapped her face lightly – just barely enough to sting. He kissed her again, and this time her kiss was warmer, more open, like she wanted to melt into him.

–Ophir

Join us to hear more, with content so fresh it’s still steaming! Participation is free for CSPC members and $5 for non-members. Be sure to RSVP here to receive the zoom link for next week’s Wicked Wordplay!

Leadership Spotlight: Fleur Bellerose

This is the eighteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Discord Coordinator and Party Champion of Kinderkritters: Wired (an online ageplay/petplay event coming May 28!), Fleur Bellerose.

• Name and/or scene name:

Fleur Bellerose

• Pronouns:

She/they

• How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

I’m a polyamorous, panromantic, demisexual, nerdy, transgender demigirl. I’m a collective of personalities (DID) working together in a single body. I am the matriarch of House Bellerose. In kink scenes, I’m mainly an ageplaying switch, but I often have big Mommy domme vibes.

• How long have you been with the CSPC?

I began volunteering in May 2021. After moving to Washington in the middle of a pandemic, the CSPC has provided opportunities and spaces that I would never have thought possible.

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

Originally, what brought me to the CSPC was its events. Prior to Covid, I was hosting ageplay events in Michigan, and when I heard about Fucking Precious and The Sandbox I saw an opportunity to volunteer and perhaps even to educate my local community while I follow the science behind ageplay and age regression. Like many ageplayers and regressors, my interests in these topics began long ago, though I only began including this side of myself in relationship dynamics in 2016. I couldn’t be happier with that decision.

• CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

You can reach me at discordcoordinator@thecspc.org. I’m currently acting as the Discord Coordinator, which means I run the CSPC’s Discord server and oversee everything that goes on there while providing additional organizational tools to its volunteers and board members, as well as a welcoming social media platform to its volunteers and any interested members.

• What was your path to your current position?

As I’ve been managing online communities for over a decade, and running Discord servers since before it became one of the most popular online communication platforms, hosting cozy online spaces comes as little challenge. When I began volunteering, the CSPC was searching for someone to run its Discord server. When I filled the position, there was a massive overhaul of the server to be done, and I’m now also self-hosting a Discord bot to help with moderation tasks and user-friendly features like self-assignable Discord roles. Since then, I’ve been seeking out other volunteer opportunities within the CSPC to help serve my local community.

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

Thus far, The Sandbox. Having a virtual event based around ageplay mid-pandemic was a massive boon to my partners and I. One of my littles will never forget one of the stories told there, and to this day she’ll giggle and blush if you look at her and say, “bee bo”!

• Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

Surviving by any means necessary, just as many others.

• What do you like to do in your free time?

I legitimately enjoy the work I do in community leadership, and that’s part of what I do as a passion and hobby. I cook for my House, and do so quite well. I’m a nerd, and play a lot of different types of video games, board games, and tabletop games. And every now and then, I’ll take a blushing newbie little under my wing to show them the ropes.

• Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

I’m currently rooming with the partners in my polycule. They and I are House Bellerose, and the bonds between us have become nigh unbreakable.

• Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

I’m autistic, with ADHD, CPTSD and DID. For those of you whom that means something to, I say this: if you can’t find a place for yourself in the world, make your world fit to you. Find people that love, accept, and care for you, and show it every day regardless of your flaws.

• Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

Turn ons? Ageplay, diapers, hypnosis, petplay, edging, intelligence, spanking, chastity, rope, and bondage. Both in submissive and dominant roles and probably in that order too, unless bondage mixes with ageplay, in which case it goes right to the top! All of these are huge turn ons for me though, along with humble intelligence. I’ve been experimenting with impact and primal play in dominant positions, and I’m curious about how I’d look in leather. But most of all, consent. It ain’t hot if you can’t not.

Squicks? For one, disrespect in its many forms, whether it’s a lack of communication or a violation of boundaries. I’m definitely not a pain slut. Watching others inflict pain on someone’s most sensitive bits is unsettling to me, as is blood play. Scat grosses me out. I’m not here to shit on anyone though, YKINMKATOK. (Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s OK)

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

Education is key. Knowledge is power. I want to help provide my local community with as much knowledge and as many tools as possible to continue progressing sex-positivity as a widespread part of modern culture.

• Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

Definitely put yourself out there as much as possible. Make sure to be patient, as we’re all volunteers here and have lives outside of the organization. Finally, don’t lose heart if you mess up, as it’s part of the learning process. Be honest, admit your faults, and always seek to know more.

• Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

Absolutely. Huge shoutout to Aimee and her Bluestocking Bookshop back in Holland, Michigan. I began running events in person for the first time at her bookshop. Without her, I probably wouldn’t be here volunteering with the CSPC! Another huge shoutout to our volunteer DJ Napalot who took these photos. Hit him up here if you want your own: djnapalotpro@gmail.com.

• How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

Accept honest mistakes. Life is a journey and learning is a never ending process. Be forgiving as a default, but also do not put yourself at risk doing so. Love unconditionally, but also know to love oneself. Be honest and communicate efficiently, including when it comes to one’s own needs. Be your own priority when you must, but give back whenever possible. Balance is essential.

Huge gratitude from the CSPC to Fleur and our other volunteers! Interested in supporting your CSPC community by joining in the volunteer action? You can learn more and begin the volunteering process with the online orientation at https://thecspc.org/volunteering.

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Community Matters--Registration and Monitor Volunteer Training!

By Sakari

Mark your calendars! Registration and Monitor volunteer training via Zoom on May 12!

Hi CSPC fam! Are you volunteer-curious? Do you have a drive to help your fellow community members? If so, think about taking an advanced volunteer training class with us! The CSPC is hosting a big training day on May 12.

From 4:30pm to 5:30pm there will be Registration training for anyone interested in facilitating our front-of-house operations. If you have experience in customer service and like the idea of greeting our party goers while smoothing their way to kinky enjoyment, this could be a great opportunity. 

From 5:30pm to 6:30pm we'll have a Monitor training classroom. Monitors are a key component of our mission. If you're passionate about consent culture, responsible kink, and just plain helping your fellow community members, please consider becoming one of our Monitors by taking this first step. Once the classroom portion is complete, you get the chance to sign up for a shadow shift at one of our parties to complete your training. 

If you'd like a chance to make a bigger impact at the CSPC, please join us in our online Zoom meeting space on May 12 at https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81161509712?pwd=U2QrbDNzSjV4VW1tb3JSSkNUbVBhQT09.

See our website for more information about becoming a volunteer. If you have any questions please send emails to eventsdirector@thecspc.org. 

Hope to see you there!

Consent Corner 2.12

By Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello dear readers!  As ever, thank you for joining us on our consent-related musings.  We hope you’re as fine as frog’s hair - and that's pretty darn fine.

So, COVID-19’s been kicking our collective butts, right?  At least with respect to our capacity, autonomy, and agreements in our consent framework, it has.

Maybe you’ve noticed some significant reductions in your capacity to make good consent decisions.  Have you experienced the need to shift your plans as personal health issues appear and reappear?  Have your plans changed as virus variants emerged?  There seems to be so much uncertainty about the pandemic’s impacts, both in the short and the long term.  

The threat of COVID infection has also reduced our personal autonomy.  We’re all trying to make the best possible decisions and respect our own and others’ autonomy.  For those in higher risk groups - people with compromised immune systems, for example - consent decisions can be a matter of life or death.  Yeesh!  

And what do our existing consent agreements look like now?  Does it feel sometimes- as Rilke suggests in a poem - like we’re standing on fishes?  Does what we thought was solid footing seem to be giving way to unexpected shifts and turns?  

We’ve got lots of questions.  Answers?  Not so many.  Fortunately you’re clever enough to discover the right answers for you, keeping in mind that last week’s answers might not work for you this week.  Perhaps repeating the mantra “change is good'' might bring you some comfort.  Personally, we’ve probably said it a million times already, and we think it might finally be starting to sink in.   We trust that you’ll learn it much more quickly. 

Homework:  resolve to be gentle with yourself and others as you explore the pandemic’s twists and turns and variants.  And stay safe and stay sexy as we all figure out what the new normal will look like.  Got a COVID story or an idea about the new normal to share?  We’d love to hear from you at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Hump History: Year Two--Coming Back for Seconds!

By Teeebone

January 22, 2009: "You all rock!!! Thank you soooooo much for having taken this idea and run with it for a year..."- (From a congratulatory email sent from the office.)

The second year began with celebration and excitement, but there was still so much for us to learn and experiment with, including new music and event themes, workshops, demos, and much more. Looking back, I see it was still a very busy time for all of us.

In late February, we celebrated Mardi Gras with a King Cake, which is a large New Orleans pastry with a little plastic baby baked inside it. Whoever found the baby in the cake won their choice of a music theme for a future Hump, which resulted in a Hip-Hop Hump in May.

On March 20, 2009, we created “The Hump CSPC's Wednesday Party” discussion group on FetLife, which remains online to this day. FetLife became an important part of publicizing upcoming CSPC events and information as it acts as an unofficial social network for members of the CSPC.

At the end of April, we held our first "taster" event, jokingly referred to as the Whump. This event was very much like the Try It, You'll Like It Party held on fifth Sundays as a quarterly event. Planning for this started late in 2008, but we waited for a fifth Wednesday to come up for it to happen.

A "taster" event typically had 10-12 stations that catered to different BDSM activities like flogging, rope, whips, claws, etc. Experienced Tops volunteered to share their specialty and give new members "a taste" of what a scene could be like. Experienced bottoms could volunteer to be the "stunt bottom" if the attendee wanted to learn any Topping activity. Attendee turns were regulated with sign-up sheets and prompts from the PA mike and/or event monitors.

Converting the Hump into the Whump meant closing the Back Room (no sexy time) and clearing out the Cuddle/Romp Pile, Solo Space, and Dance Floor to make room for the stations. The level of activity was much higher than any previous Hump and we gained a serious appreciation for the folks who ran the Grind and the Saturday BDSM Pan Parties. The event was well received and broke an attendance record (75), so we decided to do it twice a year.

In June, the Center celebrated its tenth year in operation. That same month the Center was also offered the remaining space in the building, which became the RAW Dungeon. Later that same month, the Hump broke another attendance record with 81 attendees.

In August after 81 weekly Humps, I finally took a night off. I have to admit it was a strange experience attending as opposed to working the event. Taking time off the "job" was a bit unusual for me. I guess volunteering in this community is just part of who I am. I ended up attending practically every Hump that was held–for eight years, seven months, and a week. That's a whole lot of Humps! :3

By September, the new RAW Dungeon was available for use and on the 16th, we had our 1st Whump at the Hump, an add-on party from 8pm-12am on the third Wednesday of the month. The "taster" event that was held at the end of September was re-named "Sweet Taste-ations". Yet another attendance record was broken on that night, this time at 93.

The second year ended with higher average attendance levels (60-70 attendees) and the Hump crew felt confident about the future. We had managed to break the attendance record three times! Even more good news for us would follow into the new year of 2010...

Until next time... :^)

Community Matters: Keeping Our Community Safe(r)

As the public health guidelines for COVID-19 precautions and the conditions on the ground continue to shift, the CSPC is committed to protecting the safety of our members to the best of our ability. Ensuring that our members have full knowledge of the safety protocols that will be in place at an event before purchasing tickets is important in our informed consent-based culture. That means that our protocols will shift more slowly in practice, as we want to make sure that events uphold the protocols in place when the event was first advertised and tickets were sold.

For the upcoming in-person events in both April and May, the CSPC will continue to uphold the updated precautions announced in March: we will continue to require mandatory proof of vaccination; mandatory masking except for eating, drinking, or using your mouth in a scene; and we will cap event attendance at 120 tickets sold in order to maintain space for social distance while welcoming more of our members to our in-person events.

We have sold out nearly all in-person events since we returned to holding parties, so it is clear that our community is eager to gather, and we want to be able to welcome as many members as possible at our events. Your willingness to consider each other’s safety and comfort by supporting the ongoing vaccination and masking policies has made the increase in the number of members at our gatherings possible. Thank you!

We will announce further changes to the CSPC’s COVID protocols in the newsletter and will note the pertinent expectations for each event in the specific event descriptions.

Stay safe, stay sexy!

–The CSPC Board

PPMT 2.0: Best Party Ever!

By Teeebone

On March 12, 2022, I had the wonderful experience of reliving the glory that is Power Play Mixed-Tape (PPMT) 2.0. Even though it was only the second party since the return of this legacy event, this time it felt like everything had effortlessly fallen into place–smooth execution of setup, a full crew of experienced team members working together harmoniously, a number of pre-planned scenes being scheduled throughout the night, and a sold-out crowd.

I had just put together the tightest two hours of music for my closing DJ set, and the whole PPMT team was pumped up for the night because everybody involved was looking forward to having a good time. TK (aka Turtle) has a knack when it comes to team building, and when the team gets together, that’s when the magic happens. We got on FetLife and Discord and chatted PPMT up. Contacts were made, and scenes were discussed and negotiated. The word got out, and just like that, all the tickets were sold!

And what a party it was! The theme was “Mardi Gras: Farewell to the Flesh!” and the headliner scene involved smashing and mashing King Cakes on a naked attendee who was laid down upon a table with tarps placed all around to catch escaping crumbs and icing. Good, clean, messy fun! A PPMT Team Tasting Top provided sensation play tastings in the Exploration Bay, and there was also some heavy play including a hood scene, some whip scenes, and a pussy-kicking scene. I even got to see some of the PPMT crew play after they had finished their shifts for the night! The combination of play, music, and good feels made for the one-of-a-kind awesomeness that we strive for when we have CSPC parties.

Will this fabulousness ever be matched? Will it be surpassed? That is the challenge we as volunteers face when we work at these events and that night... it was all good. I’ll tell you what, though–on April 9, Power Play Mixed-Tape returns! In April, PPMT will be brought to you by the letter L! Lace, latex, leather and OTK (over the knee) spankings for littles! Our Exploration Bay (main floor near Registration) will offer firsthand experiences (Top & bottom) in leather care and in OTK spanking so come get a taste, and help us create the next “Best Party Ever”!

To join us at April’s PPMT, learn more and buy tickets here: https://thecspc.org/events/power-play-mixed-tape/2022/apr

Did reading this article give you a thrill? Volunteering for the CSPC is a great way to get involved and meet people! Find out more about volunteering at https://thecspc.org/volunteering. Our volunteer teams are the secret sauce that makes the CSPC so delicious!

Until next time! :^)