The Life of the Party

by Teeebone

What is the life expectancy of a given party at the CSPC? In my experience, parties typically last somewhere between two to three years. Historically, once a party got past its third year, it tended to become a fixture. If longer running parties did end up shutting down, they were remembered as classics.

But parties come and parties go. From a big picture perspective, each party has its own natural life cycle. As an event coordinator, champion or host, you help build a core team of like minded individuals who share a vision of what the party is about and give it purpose. You develop personal leadership skills to hold the crew together, and if somebody needs to step back for any reason you find folks who can take their place. Staffing the events and keeping the talent within the team are the greatest challenges team leaders face when running regularly scheduled parties, whether they are quarterly, monthly, or weekly. That’s why we at the CSPC always (and often) encourage folks to become volunteers.

The next most important thing to having a trusty and reliable staff is holding on to your audience. Even before the party actually happens, you have to plan things out. You have to ask yourself hard questions like what the target demographic is or if the event is financially viable. You plan and plot with your fellow champions, compose your pitch, and then present it to the Board. Once it gets approved, it’s game on!

Even when there’s an audience waiting to attend your party, you’ve got to do the heavy lifting of party promotion on FetLife, Discord, and other social media. Generating excitement and anticipation is crucial, especially if it's a new party, though I have seen success stories with rebrands and reboots too. Sometimes it’s necessary to change things up during a party's tenure to keep the attendees coming back for more.

As Host/EC/Champion of the Hump I saw and dealt with all these issues in one fashion or another. Each party has its own lifecycle based on team dynamics, community support, and the natural ebb and flow of something fading so that something new and exciting can take its place. When the team for every new party first gets together, they are filled with the drive, enthusiasm, and desire to “DO” that party. And then they make that party happen. People show up and everyone there has a booty-shakin’ good time. For one bright, shiny moment... They are all HAPPY.

All new parties typically enjoy a honeymoon period of six to twelve months, then attendance stabilizes and then declines over time. But that’s just part of the nature of things: parties come and go, they create great memories, and then inspire the next wave of party champions.

Because none of the CSPC’s parties can happen without volunteers first. If you are into some particular hotness or belong to a specific segment of our community, consider creating or working at a party that caters to what you are into. The CSPC makes it easy to volunteer! Just follow the magic footprints...

When Opposites Attract: Flexibility and Boundaries

by Eirikah Delaunay

In the CSPC New Member Orientation (and elsewhere), we talk about consent in terms of Yes and No, with Maybe also falling in the No camp. Your personal Yes and No are your boundaries in a given situation. Those boundaries keep you aligned with your own authentic desire and help you build relationships on a basis of clarity and consent. 
Sadly, knowing and communicating our boundaries have gotten a bad rap as being “mean” or “rigid,” when that is actually the key to true intimacy with ourselves and others. Check out what Intimacy Coach Veronica Puryear has to say about the beauties of flexibility and boundaries. Find her online at https://indelicatecoaching.com or @Indelicate_Coaching on IG.

Get Twitterpated at Fresh Meet!

Are you looking to feel twitterpated? 

Are you looking for new friends?

Are you looking for community and engagement?

Me too!

Spring is in the air and SEX is on my mind! Oh.. it's on your mind too? But after two years of hunkering down, how do you GET OUT to meet others?

Come to Fresh Meet this Friday, May 6th at 8 p.m.!

Wait... What is Fresh Meet?? 

Fresh Meet is an event dedicated to building community! Whether you are new to kink, new to the CSPC, or want to meet more kinky folks, Fresh Meet will have something for you! Join us at the gorgeous Gallery Erato where we will have sexy mingling, play space, and a few kink tastings.

Not a member of the CSPC yet? No worries! New Member Orientation (NMO) will be held immediately beforehand at 7 p.m. Purchase your tickets for the event including the New Member orientation if you are not a member, and for the event only if you are already a member.

NMO: https://thecspc.org/events/orientation-fresh-meet/2022/may

Members: https://thecspc.org/events/fresh-meet/2022/may

See you there!

Power Play Mixed-Tape--Team Theory

by Turtle

It’s time again for the sexiness that is Power Play Mixed-Tape (PPMT) this Saturday, 5/7! Non-members can join the party by attending New Member Orientation immediately before the party, and members can still get tickets for the party only. Come get your pervy groove on with the hottest vibe and the chillest party team!

The Power Play Mixed-Tape Team Theory is a huge part of what makes this event and our team so special. Our Team Theory bonds us as a group, makes us stronger, and helps us create a stronger party that is more fun for everyone.

• We appreciate each other following certain guidelines. We use sincerity, specificity, presence in the current moment, and a non-hierarchical team structure. That means anyone can appreciate anyone else in the group regardless of perceived status. It doesn't matter whether you're the leader or the setup crew or behind the scenes, we expect everyone to look out for what is best for the group and the party so our community can have the fantastic experiences they expect from the CSPC and PPMT. Sometimes this means noticing when someone is doing something great and complimenting them, and sometimes this means speaking up in a positive manner when something can be improved.

• We try to keep up with each other at least a little bit outside of the party, like just poking our head in and saying, "Hey, how's it going?" We focus on really noticing that someone has a life outside of the party. If they're sick we say, "Please take care of yourself. You are important!" (and mean it!), and then look around for someone to fill in their place for the night. Each individual volunteer is important, and we want to help them be the best human that they can be. 

• We also pay attention and look for the best person to fill a volunteer spot on our team. We try to see who people are, and whether their personalities will fit the group. The Leads discuss it before we approach someone and say, "You really have a great skill set that will really fit with our team. Would you join us?" Our goal is to actively build a team that wants to be together. That makes volunteering together more fun!

• We do little things for each other just to have our own small traditions to make it more fun. Maybe it's a card or we bring in cookies or stickers for each other, or we do something for the party attendees that month like plan a flash mob to a particular song, but it's something that we as a group bond over. We as a group are one entity doing something special to give back to our community, and that's something really cool to do. 

The opportunity to be part of a volunteer team is part of what makes the CSPC the vital community resource that it is. It's important to volunteer to support your community. I grew up in an immigrant family with a deeply ingrained value for volunteering as a way to give back to our community. Whether you made jam, fixed a fence, quilted, helped build a barn, or collected garbage along a road, everyone pitched in to make our small community a better place to be. The connections built while volunteering are absolutely priceless.

So join us as a party guest at PPMT this Saturday night for a booty-shaking good time, and talk to one of our team members about their experience as volunteers at the CSPC. We’d be delighted to help you find the team that lights you up and adds even more joy and connection to your experience with the CSPC!

Buy your Power Play Mixed-Tape tickets here: PPMT with New Member Orientation or PPMT party only.

Learn more about volunteering here. It’s also not too late to join the online training for Registration and Monitor roles from 4:30-6:30 on May 12!

Community Matters--Updates from the Board

For the upcoming in-person events in both May and June, the CSPC will continue to uphold our current COVID precautions: we will continue to require mandatory proof of vaccination; mandatory masking except for eating, drinking, or using your mouth in a scene; and we will cap event attendance at 120 tickets sold in order to maintain space for social distancing. As folks begin to attend larger gatherings where masking isn’t mandatory (restaurants, sporting events, art and music festivals, etc.), we are seeing an increase in case counts in our region. Please consider taking a rapid test at home before attending events at the CSPC to help take care of each other and reduce transmission within our community (free rapid tests may be available here). Thank you to all our members for your ongoing willingness to care for each other’s safety and comfort.

As the CSPC continues to expand our in-person event offerings, volunteering is more important than ever! All our sex-positive resources and events are for members, by members. Involvement as a community volunteer is great for both new members and long term members. Make new friends, learn more about the opportunities for connection and growth in our sex-positive communities, and enjoy the satisfaction of providing essential support for all the hotness you enjoy as a member! Event volunteers get into the parties where they work for free, with time for play before or after their volunteer shift. For more information about volunteering, including links to the volunteer application and online volunteer orientation (on demand), visit us at https://thecspc.org/volunteering.

Now is an even better time to get started with volunteering, with online training for Registration and Monitor roles happening from 4:30-6:30pm on Thursday, May 12! 

Stay safe, stay sexy!

March with the CSPC at Pride!

Pride is coming! On June 26, the CSPC will be marching in Seattle’s 2022 Pride Parade. As an organization for our members, by our members, we are looking for at least 25 members who are excited and enthusiastic about dressing up and showing Seattle what sex positivity means to you! You might even get to help carry our banner or hand out buttons and other swag to the onlookers along the parade route.

You will need to commit to gathering on Sunday morning with the rest of the CSPC marching contingent on 4th Ave, between Pike St and S Washington St, for staging before the parade begins, then shake your groove thing for the crowds for the next few hours as the parade moves through downtown ending at Seattle Center. All participants are required to provide proof of vaccination or a negative COVID test. So if you’d love to show off your finest fetish gear, cutest critter costume, or whatever outfit brings out your Pride, contact us at pride@thecspc.org. We’d love to have you help us share the joy of free and authentic sexual expression at the 46th annual Seattle Pride Parade.

Consent Corner 2.13

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello again!  It’s officially spring and we couldn’t be happier.  We hope you’re digging it too.  

Springtime seems to bring thoughts of newness - everything old is new again, right?  It’s getting easier to enjoy the wonders that nature has to offer.  

How does the thought of kinky camping sound to you?  Got a new play partner and want to spend a weekend exploring each other?  Want to try out a new toy?  Want to meet new and interesting people - people like you?  Want to spend a weekend with fifty or so of your favorite sex-positive friends?  

By popular demand, the CSPC’s kinky camping event - The Frolic - is back!  It’ll happen in July (22-24) and in August (5-7).  

And we’re excited to tell you that Consent Corner will be there, helping you hone your consent skills.  You heard it here first - tell your friends!  It’s just one more reason to take some time to savor our sex-positive community.  

Homework:  check your calendar and see which of the CSPC Frolic dates works for you - it might be both of them!  Follow up as desired. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Say What? Sex Positive Dictionary

by Eirikah Delaunay

I had such a fabulous time at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) last weekend! I got to have hundreds of short, sexy conversations with festival patrons at the sponsorship table for my sex+relationship coaching practice, Desire Alchemy, using my “Let’s Talk About. . .” conversation cards. One of the things that came up over and over again was just how many definitions people have for the words we use in the sex positive community, and how confusing related words can be–edging vs. edge play, for instance. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how many different kinds of play people with different experiences might classify as edge play.

To help folks better understand each other in the context of our shared sex positive community, the CSPC is seeking assistance from our members to create a crowd-sourced Sex Positive Dictionary. We’ll share a short list of words here in the newsletter periodically to solicit YOUR definitions to be shared with your peers in an online resource, similar to the Urban Dictionary.

In April, we shared five words for your definition generation pleasure. Huge thanks to those who submitted! Some sample responses:

• Brat–A bottom/submissive who tends to act out in ways that are likely to bring chastisement, restrictions, or punishment from their Top/Dominant, typically for the mutual enjoyment of both. Usage example: “I love giving a brat the spankings they are clearly asking for.”  –7

• Genderfluid–Identifying as two or more genders (not necessarily feminine or masculine), in a way that shifts between those genders over a period of time. Usage example: “I am male-bodied but I fluctuate between being in nonbinary-identifying and strongly female-identifying modes.” –7

• Impact Play–Sexual or sensual consensual play in which some implement is used to hit another’s body.  Implements can include:  hand, flogger, whip, wooden spoon, cane,and paddle.  Know which parts of the body will be happy to get that impact and which will cause lasting distress. –M@

• Primal–An animalistic/primitive style of play, often with aspects of consensual non-consent (chasing, wrestling, capture, etc.) and unrestrained expression (scratches, bites, growls, and the like). Also, a kink identity as one favoring such play, sometimes with Top/bottom identities such as “primal Dom/sub/hunter/prey/switch.” (Not to be confused with Optimus Primal: roleplaying as an Autobot for purposes of seducing Megan Fox.)

• Sensation Play–Using a variety of objects or techniques to create different physical sensations, such as fur, feathers, claws, knives, temperature play with ice or hot wax, etc. Can include scratching, biting, pinching, stroking, and other sensations. Might also target other senses besides touch. –E

Our words for May reflect common questions from our newer members:

• Bottom

• Top

• Scene

• Scene Name

• Safeword

How would you define these terms in your experience? Tell us at sexpositivedictionary@thecspc.org! Be sure to include the initials you’d like us to use to identify your contributions. We may share them on Discord, social media, and the newsletter, as well as the dictionary platform when it’s complete.

Have a Spanking Good Time at LaQueer!

By 7

The first time I had a plan to attend LaQueer, I was riddled with anxiety. I didn’t have anything really queerfabulous to wear, so I often came across presenting as cisgendered. My Domme persona only really comes out in dynamics and scenes with submissives, and I had no partner to bring along. Was I queer enough to hang out with the cool queer people?

A very wise friend has informed me that this kind of imposter syndrome is basically an indicator that yes, I am queer enough. Because people who are not queer do not have anxiety about whether they are queer enough to hang out with the cool queer people.

So I’m passing on this message to you. You are queer enough, and we love that about you! Come out to LaQueer and be part of our weird and wonderful community. 

We’ll have a tour of the space for people new to the Gallery, volunteers to help with any questions/advice you might need, and this month we’re trying an Impact Line of Dominoes: Anyone willing to participate will form a circular line, each with a toy of choice. One person will be the first to spank the person in front of them, who will then spank the next person, and so on, all the way around the circle. Circles don’t end, so this might continue round and round until we all fall down! ;-)

The fact that you get to perv on (and possibly take part in) some creative and smoking-hot scenes set to music by amazing queer artists will be icing on the cake.