Community Matters

Hey hey, sexy humans! Check out all the goodness going on!

KinkFest Reciprocal Member Discount

The CSPC is a proud partner of the Portland Leather Alliance (PLA), which hosts Portland’s annual KinkFest. As a reciprocal partner organization, the PLA has invited active CSPC members to attend KinkFest 2023 at the same discount they offer their own members. KinkFest is the PLA's premiere event, and it's taking place April 7-9, 2023 at the Portland Expo Center.

To receive the $20 discount, active CSPC members may email membership@thecspc.org to receive the special link to use when purchasing your KinkFest tickets. If you have already registered for KinkFest, you may email membership@thecspc.org for instructions to request a $20 refund. 

We're excited to see our CSPC community at KinkFest!

January Volunteer training for Registration and Monitoring

Join us on January 26, 2023, from 7-9 p.m., for our next volunteer training. Monitor training will run from 7-8 p.m. and Registration training will run 8-9 p.m. Registration is open now–log into Volgistics and register for the training on January 26 to get the Zoom link!

Not yet a volunteer, but want to get in on the action? Join the volunteer corps today! Just complete the on-demand online volunteer orientation and submit the volunteer application located on the Volunteering webpage. It’s that simple! The more parties we host, the more volunteers we need to keep things running smoothly. The CSPC is a fully volunteer-led, volunteer-run non-profit organization created by our members for our members. Become a volunteer and help chart the CSPC’s future!

New Newsletter Editor

We are delighted to welcome our new newsletter editor to the Communications Team. So much fresh hotness!

Ticket Sales Cap Increase as of January 1

Just a quick reminder that the increased cap in ticket sales for in-person events was effective January 1, 2023. At this time, we are selling 140 tickets per event. When we factor in the volunteers that make all our parties possible, we are now running at the venue’s top capacity. More tickets means more fun!

CSPC Swag!

Check out the CSPC's NEW RedBubble shop! T-shirts, sweatshirts, stickers, water bottles, cushions, and more—available now!

Coming Soon!

We’re working on updates to the CSPC website–keep your eyes open for our new Board page to keep our membership more informed and involved with the leadership of our community! 

Sexy (Social) Science 23.1

by Emma Atkinson 

Happy New Year to you all! Let’s keep the joy of the holiday season going for just a little while longer, okay? And if your holidays weren’t especially joyful, it’s not too late to let a little happiness seep in. 

For the first CSPC newsletter of 2023, I’ve got something juicy to share with you. No need to thank me just yet.

Maybe you’ve been wondering about the differences between boundaries and controlling behaviors. Or maybe it’s just me. Anyhoo, here’s what I’ve come up with: a boundary represents the limit of something you will do, and a controlling behavior is something you want someone else to do. It can be confusing, because sometimes people use the word “boundary” to try to control or change someone else.

Here’s an example: someone you know keeps bringing up a topic that makes you uncomfortable. You’ve asked them to stop talking about the topic, but you’re hearing it yet again. It could be any topic: when will you give your parents a grandchild, or when will you start a diet for real. A boundary represents what you want for yourself and an action you’ll take. Successful boundary-setting is more likely to happen when you state it clearly, without unnecessary emotion, and follow through with the consequences if it’s being tested. Consequences could be hanging up the phone, changing the subject, or leaving the room. 

Controlling behavior happens when you tell someone what to do or not do. It’s often accompanied by vague and highly emotional language, and comes without specific consequences. In the example above, controlling behavior might look like starting a fight about how many times you’ve told them you don’t want to hear about those topics or saying that if they really loved you, they wouldn’t bring those things up anymore. Both of these responses are highly emotional and focused on trying to change the other person, not a clearly-stated consequence that you can put into action yourself.

As adults, we can ask someone to do or not do something, and they can choose their actions accordingly. And then we can choose an action as well. 

Making this distinction can be frightfully complicated and difficult to untangle. Boundaries are meant for you, to enhance your body, mind, and spirit. If you find yourself experiencing uncomfortable feelings, it might be a good time to sit down and sort it out. 

As we start a new year, it’s a great time to ponder what serves you best. Those nagging, uneasy feelings are probably not going away on their own. They’re actually a gift to you, as Gavin de Becker points out in his book, The Gift of Fear. Think of them as little red flags trying to get your attention. 

Homework: check any resolutions you might have made for 2023 and make sure self care is right there at the top of the list. If your resolutions don’t include practicing more kindness, compassion, and gratitude—well, why not? It could bring you rewards way beyond anything you can dream up. The only way to find out for sure is to try it out for yourself and see what happens. It can’t hurt, right? Let me know how your experiment goes at: info@thecspc.org. 

Science!

Ask a (Sex Positive!) REALTORⓇ

by Rebecca Bingham

Happy New Year!

I'm here and queer with some questions that are frequently asked in my Fetlife inbox!

Is 20% down still the rule of thumb? 

It sure isn't! From VA loans that are 0% down to FHA loans with around 3% down (and TONS of down payment assistance programs), there's a lot more to think about. Even if you've bought a home previously, or held title previously, you still might qualify as a first-time home buyer! If you haven't owned/held title in three years, it's a reset!

What is the difference between prequalified and preapproved?

Preapproved is when you speak with a lender and start getting ready; they might have pulled your credit, but it's basically a letter saying, "at first glance, they can qualify for a mortgage."  Prequalified means you're already done with the mortgage application, it's been through underwriting, and you get a letter that says the top amount of the loan you qualify for at this minute is XXX amount. This means we're ready to write an offer and it will be more solid!

Do I have to sign a buyer’s agency agreement?

The short answer is yes. The long answer is that there are lawsuits about it. In the state of Washington, a buyer must sign a buyer’s agency agreement that says how much compensation is owed to the agent upon closing, and that that agent is working in YOUR best interest. We have a fiduciary duty to the party who we have a contract with. So, for listing agents, it's with the sellers per the listing contract, and buyer’s agents are bound to the buyers per the buyer's agency agreement. 

Happy 2023 to you and yours! Contact me if you have any real estate needs, questions, or referrals, and send me any home-related questions for next month’s column via DM on Fetlife or Facebook. (I’ll keep it confidential, of course!)

Ring in a Sexy New Year at La Rêverie!

What are you waiting around for? Get your New Year’s Eve tickets today!

Don’t you deserve to dress sexy, feel sexy, and be sexy—at La Rêverie?

You have worked hard this year! Life has happened and you conquered it. Stand tall, shake off all the stress, and plant your personal flag shouting, “I am here! I am worthy! This is MY world!” And it is!

Come to the CSPC and leave 2022 behind. We will cast our dreams into 2023 and act out all the fantasies we can fit into four hours on New Year's Eve, surrounded by friends and chosen family. Skin, leather, latex, corsets, heels, thongs and thigh highs, vests and boots, jeans that cup the ass, and who’s that fine human with that fantastic hair? 

Let’s dance and grind, socialize and snuggle, and get our tarot read and picture taken. Plan to play and push your boundaries…while listening to others’ screams of ecstasy as they cum or enjoy subspace. You can even watch people play on the stage! 

We invite our foodie friends and our food-challenged family to bring a shareable snack. We’ll have small cards available to write ingredients/allergens on.

This party is for YOU! All levels and types of sex and BDSM play are welcome! 

Also, local transit runs late and is free!

Gallery Erato: 309 1st Ave S.

Saturday, December 31, 8:30 p.m.–12:30 a.m.

CSPC members and invited guests, 18+ with ID

$35 each

Get your tickets today for the hottest midwinter’s dream in town! Not yet a member? You can still join us for this special event! Buy a $45 New Member ticket to attend orientation at 7:30 p.m. right before the party, and start 2023 with your first month’s membership and a party to remember!

F*cking Fabulous Fall Fundraiser: Wrap Up & Community Treats!

Huge gratitude from the CSPC Board and our community for your participation in the 2022 F*cking Fabulous Fall Fundraiser! Your donated items and winning bids raised $4,912 to support CSPC programming—well OVER our goal of $4,444! You ROCK!

Thanks to those of you who volunteered your time and energy to set up and manage the online auction, those of you who donated your services and your stuff, those of you who helped generate higher donations by bidding on those treasures, and those of you who supported the CSPC with your winning bids. We couldn't have done this without ALL of you!

Winning bidders were contacted directly via email to process their donations and make arrangements for receiving their items. To ease the disappointment the rest of us are feeling, here are a few follow-up opportunities:

• It's not too late to donate to the CSPC! If your bid wasn't a winner (and even if it was!) you can still contribute to the fundraiser by donating the amount of your choice here.

• 🔥Want some sweet sweet CSPC logo swag? Check out the CSPC's NEW RedBubble shop! T-shirts, water bottles, cushions, and more—available now! 🔥

• As a special thank you to our community for all the ways you contribute to making the CSPC the welcoming, sexy space it is, Board member (and item donor) Eirikah is offering a coupon for 25% off any sex & relationship coaching intensive or package with Desire Alchemy. Just use coupon code CSPCFFFF at the time of booking on her website!

• If you missed out on a particular item, be sure to check the item description for an email address or business website of the item donor to reach out and make a direct purchase. Items are still visible on the auction website.

Thank you again for all the ways you contribute to the CSPC community! 

As always, contact the CSPC with any questions at info@thecspc.org.

Stay safe, stay sexy, and have a happy holiday season!

The CSPC Board

Community Matters: New Events Director and Volunteer Training

At the December 2022 Board meeting, the Board president read a letter from Sakari regretfully sharing that she is stepping down from the Board effective immediately in order to take some time for recovery from recent health concerns. The CSPC Board would like to express our gratitude to Sakari for her years of service on the Board of Directors and as Events Director this past year. Under Sakari’s leadership in Events, we successfully returned to hosting in-person events and more than doubled the number of events (in-person and online) available for our community every month. We are sorry to lose her energy and dedication on the Board, but we look forward to seeing her continued participation in our community after some well-deserved rest and healing. 

We are delighted to announce that Jadzia has agreed to step into the role of Events Director for the CSPC. While Jadzia is one of our newest Board members, she is a powerhouse who also serves as EC Team Lead, Tasting Top Lead, and a member of the Champion team for three parties–All In, LaQueer, and Sense & Sensuality–among the many ways she supports the CSPC community as a volunteer. We can’t wait to see what the next year holds in Events! Got great ideas about Events? Share them using our feedback form here or email Jadzia at EventsDirector@theCSPC.org!

We want YOU to be the next rockstar volunteer! Join us on January 26, 2023, from 7-9 p.m., for our next volunteer training. Monitor training will run from 7-8 p.m. and Registration training will run 8-9 p.m. Registration is open now–log into Volgistics and register for the training on January 26 to get the Zoom link!

Not yet a volunteer, but want to get in on the action? Join the volunteer corps today! Just complete the on-demand online volunteer orientation and submit the volunteer application located on the Volunteering webpage. It’s that simple! The more parties we host, the more volunteers we need to keep things running smoothly. The CSPC is a fully volunteer-led, volunteer-run non-profit organization created by our members for our members. Become a volunteer and help chart the CSPC’s future!

Ask a (Sex Positive!) REALTORⓇ

by Rebecca Bingham

Hello, dears and queers! 

This month is a market update! Year-end is on many of our minds, so I'll get right into it.

TL;DR: 

Buyers: Get your affairs (and lender) in order this month to be ready to look at a wide variety of more affordable housing options, loan products, and interest rates in Jan/Feb/March. If the house is an 8 or above on your 1–10 scale, put in an offer sooner rather than later. If you need help “getting ready to get ready,” your very first step is connecting with a loan officer. If you want to know more about that or how to interview them to find one who meets your needs and who you like and trust, message me!

Sellers: Bring the house as turnkey as possible to be ready for a spring sale, and seriously consider your agent's suggested pricing strategy. You are paying agents to help you sell your property for the most value, not just list it and let it sit unsold. Help us help you.

The full story: 

2022 was NUTS for the housing market. The market hit its peak in April, with multiple-offer situations, offers for way over the listing price, and waiving of contingencies and inspections. The Seattle market has been one of the swiftest-changing markets nationwide, and that was proven this year—month after month. As inflation flew upward, the market turned midyear in response to rising interest rates to control it. Interest rates in April were around 3.25% in contrast to November's at around 7%. The summer proved a rough lesson in patience for sellers who thought they could still get April offers. Days on the market are now at 21 days for Nov 2022, when Nov 2021 was 7 days, and April 2022 was 5 days. 

Here's who and what is selling: people who *need* to move for work, family, or other reason with houses that are priced correctly. This is where a skilled agent can help make all the difference in helping you price aggressively if you need to move soon, which can net you more money at the closing table. There are still multiple offers on homes when the price is right for the location and the house is in turnkey condition. If you're expecting to move in early 2023, your best bet is to do the improvement projects now (especially because contractors are more available than they have been all year), or it's going to come out of the closing price. Another great strategy is to have it pre-inspected, take care of the big stuff, and figure out what you are and are not willing to take care of for the little things. It can save you thousands of dollars when it's time to close.

The first quarter of 2023 is expected to be banging, per the market watchers. We expect it to become even more of a buyer's market as people who got burned in March/April/May can think more carefully about their offer, with the houses having more days on the market. There are also many more open houses to preview to get an idea of what is offered—both in a price range and in a particular area. 

Season's tidings! I'm looking forward to welcoming back the light! Contact me if you have any real estate needs, questions, or referrals, and send me any home-related questions for next month’s column via DM on Fetlife or Facebook. (I’ll keep it confidential, of course!)

Let's Get F*cking Fabulous!

The F*cking Fabulous Fall Fundraiser is off to a blazing hot start! Our online auction is filled with items donated by our community members–services and stuff that you just can’t find anywhere else! This is the perfect opportunity to do a little holiday shopping with all the money going to support your own sex-positive community. And don’t forget to treat yourself!

Check out the unique “stuff” like a handcrafted amethyst choker with two pairs of matching earrings, a four foot tall original painting representing the CSPC’s founder, Allena Gabosch (see the “secret links” on the auction site for full-length, unedited images!), two sexy Liberator lounges, a Pride-themed X-Box controller, first-peek CSPC swag, a black leather kilt, or your very own Sybian for a ride you’ll never forget.

Maybe a one-of-a-kind “service” is just the thing for you or your dear ones: coffee with a Femdom, a tarot reading to carry you into the new year, lunch for four (salad, soup, and dessert) cooked from Allena’s favorite recipes, a private fire play class, editorial services to make your communications sparkle, blade sharpening, lunch with the Board President, or a double Dom date night that takes your breath away. (Services do not include genital touch or two-way nudity in compliance with CSPC policies and local law regarding exchanging money (via auction) for sex acts.)

All proceeds go to support the CSPC and our community. This is the most fun you’ll have donating to a nonprofit organization this season! Join us for the bidding extravaganza at the F*cking Fabulous Fall Fundraiser and get a little something special with your year-end giving. Bidding ends at noon on Friday, December 9. We’re just over half way to our fundraising goal–help us reach the magic number of $4,444!

Want to contribute but auctions just aren’t your jam? Donate today! The spirit of the F*cking Fabulous Fall Fundraiser is coming together as a community to share our resources and skills to support the CSPC. Huge thanks to all our volunteers and donors–those who donated items, those who purchase them, and those who donate. Your contributions make our community f*cking fabulous!

Monkeypox Community Vaccination Event!

Monkeypox Community Vaccination Event @ Gallery Erato (in collaboration with The Center for Sex Positive Culture and Pan Eros Foundation)

Date: Monday, 12/19

Clinic hours: 4 pm  - 7 pm

Location: Gallery Erato, 309 1st Ave S, Seattle, WA 98104 (located in Pioneer Square)

Transit: between the University Street and International District Link stations, near the First Hill Street car, and many bus lines

Accessibility: Clinic building is ADA accessible and contains gender neutral restrooms.

Who can get vaccinated? Folks who meet current JYNNEOS eligibility criteria

Vaccination is free; no health insurance or photo ID required.

Register for an appointment HERE; only limited walk-ups available.

• Please note that preregistering for an appointment only guarantees that you will receive a vaccine; it does not guarantee the exact time at which you will receive your vaccine.