Consent Corner 23.10

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello darlings! Who's in favor of continuing to celebrate Pride through July? Okay, let's do it!

Today might be a good day to consider and express your gratitude. Actually, you could probably say that on any given day. To whom have you given your consent, and for what? 

Melody Beattie notes that gratitude "can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." For me, when I can change my thought of "I have to do this" into "I get to do this," that's when the gates of paradise swing open. 

I'm grateful to you, reading this column and giving me the opportunity to explore the beauty of consent. There are many people behind the scenes who work tirelessly to make the newsletter happen. Please thank them when you get the chance.

Homework: It's July, who wants homework? Other than me, probably no one, so please enjoy the gifts of the season. Share your enjoyment with us at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Flowers' Garden: Managing Drop

By Flowers

Engaging in BDSM dynamics can be an incredible experience for those involved. However, it's important to acknowledge that after such intense scenes, both Dominants/Tops and submissives/bottoms may experience a temporary emotional and physical downturn known as "drop." Understanding drop and having good strategies to manage it is important for maintaining the well-being and mental health of all participants. In this article, we will explore ways to navigate and manage drop through aftercare and self-care practices.

Understanding Drop

Drop refers to the emotional and physical effects that people may experience after heavy BDSM scenes. It can manifest as feelings of vulnerability or sadness, mood swings, fatigue, or even a sense of disconnection from reality. It is essential to recognize that sub (or Top) drop is a normal response to the intense experience and the release of endorphins during BDSM play.

Communication and Negotiation

Effective communication is key to managing drop. Before engaging in any BDSM scene, both the dom and sub should openly discuss aftercare expectations and preferences. Discuss the type of physical and emotional support that both people may require post-scene. This conversation should also include establishing safe words or signals to ensure that everyone can communicate their needs during the scene.

Aftercare

Aftercare refers to the care and attention shared after a scene to promote emotional and physical well-being. Aftercare can involve various activities tailored to the individual's needs and preferences. Some common aftercare practices include:

  • Physical Comfort: Provide the submissive with warmth and physical comfort through cuddling, gentle touch, or a warm blanket.

  • Verbal Reassurance: Offer words of affirmation, reassurance, and praise to help the Dominant and/or submissive feel loved, valued, and secure.

  • Hydration and Nourishment: Encourage the bottom to drink water and provide nourishing snacks or a meal to replenish energy levels.

  • Emotional Support: Engage in open and nonjudgmental conversations to discuss the scene and any emotions or concerns that arose, and provide a safe space for both partners to express themselves.

Self-Care for Drop Management

Kinksters should also practice self-care to manage drop effectively. Here are some self-care strategies to consider:

  • Rest and Recovery: Allow yourself time to rest, sleep, and recover after intense scenes. Listen to your body's signals and prioritize adequate rest.

  • Engage in Soothing Activities: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and self-soothing. This could include taking a warm bath, practicing mindfulness or meditation, reading a book, or listening to calming music.

  • Journaling: Reflect on your emotions and thoughts by journaling. This can help you process your experiences and gain insights into your emotional well-being.

  • Reach Out for Support: If needed, reach out to your scene partner, friends, or a support network within the BDSM community. Discussing your experiences with understanding individuals can be incredibly helpful.

Managing drop is an essential aspect of responsible BDSM play. By prioritizing open communication, negotiating aftercare expectations, and practicing self-care, both Tops and bottoms can navigate the post-scene emotional and physical effects more effectively. Remember, everyone's experience of drop is unique, so it is crucial to listen to your own needs and engage in strategies that work best for you.

Extra Frolic Sparkle--Surprise Yurt!

SURPRISE!

The forest fairies have been hard at work down in Buckley. Another beautiful yurt has sprung from the ground! It's called the Prism Yurt!

Nothing else is going to be built, so this really is the last chance you have to stay in an 18-foot yurt with a queen-size bed! 

Place your bids in the surprise auction of this 5th yurt today! 

Make sure to buy your Frolic ticket as well! The auction does NOT include tickets to camp.

Frolic Presenter Bios: The Awesome Continues!

Hawk35 aka Nick

Nick is your average kinky person who has been around for longer than he likes to admit. His journey into kink started on the east coast in bars and basements doing what is now considered "western" bondage and flogger play. Over time, his interests expanded to include more shibari-influenced styles of bondage, blood play, needle play, CNC play, electro, and a wider range of impact. As he grew into his kink, he sought out educators who were skilled and credentialed (when possible) to learn from. He considers sharing the knowledge he's gathered a key part of giving back to his community. He has been a Board member and Board President of the CSPC, and is an educator, but always a student.  

8/16  1 pm  Needles 101 – Intro to Needle Play

8/18  1 pm  Class Needles 201 – Needles that Hurt

8/19  10 am  Stomping & Kicking – Painful Fun with Feet 

Skitty

Skitty (she/her) is a cis woman, pansexual, polyamorous, kinky submissive, living in Woodinville, Washington. A lifelong educator, Skitty began teaching special education in her country of origin, Canada, before moving to the United States. Several years ago, Skitty had the privilege to transition to full-time volunteering, mostly within the sex-positive community. Throughout her life, Skitty has utilized the power of education to increase understanding and compassion and to empower individuals and communities. She is passionate about negotiation and consent. She began talking about sex back in 1994 in her volunteer role as a safer sex and transmission reduction educator for the Kingston AIDS Project and continues to do so as the current Board President for the Center for Sex Positive Culture. 

8/15  3 pm  Sensual Scene Negotiation

8/18  3 pm  3-Minute Game (Skitty & Al)

Seq! aka getsequentialized is our Featured Presenter! Check out the July 20 newsletter for all their deets!

Frolic Camping Checklist

Still haven't registered because you aren't sure what you'd need to bring? Here are the beginnings of a handy list.

We will be having a pre-Frolic virtual meetup to answer your questions and facilitate shenanigans. Date coming soon on the CSPC event calendar.

WHAT SHOULD I BRING?

You are camping, so bringing proper supplies is important!

  • Camp chair!!!

  • Tent (each person will be allowed up to 10x10 feet. Please do not bring something bigger if you are camping alone! Space is limited!)

  • Bedding (air or foam mattress, sleeping bag or blankets, something to insulate you from the cold ground)

  • Towels, personal toiletries, medications, etc.

  • Plates, cups, and cutlery! A MUST! We Do NOT provide dishes.

  • Water and any additional food/snacks for the week. Running water is available for refills.

  • Camp stove and fuel if you wish to heat or cook anything in addition to the meal plan (we expect there will be some access to grills, but propane will be quite limited unless you bring your own)

  • Bug spray, sunscreen, and sunglasses

  • Flashlights or other lighting

  • Decor for your camp! Make it your own!

  • Toys to play with

  • Special outfits!

  • Safer sex supplies

  • Self-care and recovery items

This list will continue to be updated! Send suggestions to frolic@theCSPC.org

Frolic: The Basics

Figuring Out the Basics of The Frolic!

  1. Join The Frolic group on FetLife in order to coordinate rides, tent and gear sharing, as well as to plan scenes. https://fetlife.com/groups/224072

  2. Join The Frolic channel on our Discord server. Access it through the CSPC Discord. There is a link on the bottom of our web page. https://thecspc.org/ 

  3. It is your responsibility to arrange transportation to and from The Frolic. Carpooling and public transportation are viable options.

  4. The nearest lake is Lake Tapps (20-30 minute drive).

  5. There are local grocery stores, restaurants, and hotels if needed within a 10–20 minute drive.

  6. Ask questions! Previous attendees and Frolic staff are a wealth of knowledge!

  7. There will be a dorm tent for those without a tent. (No privacy)

  8. There will be breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day. A Hospitality area will be open all day with coffee, tea, other refreshments (like lemonade), as well as various small snacks meant to tide people over or help them after scenes.

  9. There will be portable toilets, outdoor showers, an ADA shower, above-ground pool, hot tub, campfires, indoor dungeon, outdoor play area, community room, classroom, outdoor eating area, and tons of fun!

  10. Find out more and buy your tickets at https://thecspc.org/frolic! Don’t miss out on all the fun!

Broaden Your Mind 7.6.23

Other Community Events to Enjoy!

The CSPC throws amazing parties and hosts many important discussions on various topics. But luckily, we live in a place where there are many more options to dive into sex- and body-positive culture. The list below is just a sampling of some great events coming up in the next month.

We include non-CSPC events in the first issue each month. If you have an event suggestion, please email Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org and it might make it into our next issue!

July 7

Kremwerk: GIRTH ($11.33 | in person)

An underwear dance party. Strut, flaunt, and flex the goods at GIRTH!

https://www.kremwerk.com/upcoming/2023/07/07/girth-with-suss-out-and-eegodeaths

July 8

Bootblacking 101 (free–$20 | in person)

This is a basic leather care 101 with a little extra sauce for keeping your other gear up to snuff.

https://seapah.com/public/schedule/events/53045-leep-class-bootblacking-101-by-aj

July 8

The QUEER Not-Creepy Gathering for People Who Want to Fall In Love ($10–$30 | in person)

These structured, participatory events are all about connection. They're fun. And surprising. And weird! And real.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-queer-not-creepy-gathering-for-people-who-want-to-fall-in-love-tickets-571131990157?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

July 11

Kinky Speed Dating ($24–$50 | in person)

Kinky Speed Dating is the best way to meet local kinksters, queers, friends, lovers, enemies, and anything else you can think of!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/kinky-speed-dating-tickets-665105958827?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

July 13

Levity Arts Collab! (free | in person)

An evening of free music, performances, and an all out Circus Arts extravaganza at Gas Works Park!

https://www.levity-arts.com/shows

July 13

Consent and the Living Earth ($15–$45 | online)

Can consent help us better take care of the living earth? Join us in class to practice consent in our relationships with water, plants, animals, soil, and fungi.

https://www.strangertickets.com/events/140331552/consent-and-the-living-earth

July 14

Bijou at the Beacon Cinema ($13.12 | in person)

The Beacon is a new movie theater in Columbia City, Seattle!

https://thebeacon.film/calendar/movie/bijou

July 16

North End Makers: Be Gay, Make Stuff (free | in person)

A gathering for queer crafters!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/be-gay-make-stuff-tickets-649187726967

July 19

Queer Sex Trivia ($10–$20 | in person)

It's fun, it's queer, it's sexy, it's trivia!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sex-trivia-optimism-brewing-tickets-664838228037

July 23

Seattle Nude, Erotic + Boudoir Photography Group (free–$10 | in person)

Seattle Nude, Erotic + Boudoir Photography Group exists to facilitate networking and the creation of art in the PNW photography and modeling communities while providing a safer, semi-public space to have first or repeated interactions with co-creators.

https://www.pan-eros.org/event/seattle-nude-erotic-boudoir-photography-group/?instance_id=4822

August 3-6

Pacific Northwest Leathermen’s Campout ($130-$140 | in person)

Pacific Northwest Leathermen's Campout is now open for registration!  The event is set for 3-6 August 2023, on 15 secluded, tree-lined acres near Oregon City, Oregon, about 25 minutes south of Portland International Airport.  This Leather-focused campout is BDSM-friendly, Pup-friendly, clothing-optional, and sex-positive, with a wide array of workshops and seminars.  Find all the details and the green registration button at the website below.

www.pnwlc.org

Community Matters: Celebrating Juneteenth

By Cass

And we are back with another Juneteenth moment.

Juneteenth (June 19) is the day we celebrate the end of slavery in the United States (everyone did not immediately get the Emancipation Proclamation memo). This federal holiday acknowledges the sacrifice and contributions of Black people and Black culture. 

How will you, or how do you celebrate Juneteenth? What does it mean to you? 

Well, if you are looking for suggestions, I got a few. 

  • Go to the cookout if you get invited (it means they like you). 

  • Shop at Black-owned businesses.

  • Enjoy some cuisine at a Black restaurant.

  • Donate to an organization that supports Black communities.

But most importantly, recognize and respect the holiday for what it is.  

Parties from the Past: The Pool Party

By Teeebone and Brian

In the summer of 2002, the “Wet Spot” put together a weekend camping event and fundraiser that was held off-site at the Longhouse. It was called “Wet Spot in Paradise: The Gathering of the Tribes,” though in the future the name would be shortened to just Paradise. This event gave rise to a new party that was created the next year, debuting on June 15, 2003, the aptly named “Paradise Pool Party,” a clothing-optional swim party to be held on the third Sunday of the month.

The publicity post on the original Wet Spot website went something like this: “Those of you who attended the Wet Spot in Paradise event last Labor Day weekend remember the wonderful pool. Warm and inviting, with a great hot tub beside it to soak in. Well, starting this month, the Wet Spot will be hosting a pool party at the Longhouse on the third Sunday of the month. We'll supply pop, juice, and some snacks, you supply your own towels. While it's clothing optional, we hope that there is very little clothing in the pool. (There will also be a social area and a few areas for private and group play — sex and light BDSM play will be allowed in most of these areas).”

The party ran from 12pm to 6pm and admission was $10. Another thing that should be mentioned is that the pool was indoors, meaning that the weather wouldn’t be so much of a factor after the summer. As time went by, the event became a potluck as there was a grill on-site for barbecuing available. By 2010, the Pool Party would see increasing attendance and a change in leadership, which brings us to the interview part of this article with Brian, who acted as Host and EC to this event from then until its cancellation.

Q: When did you first attend the Pool Party?

A: I first attended the Pool Party in June 2004.

Q: What was your experience at your first Pool Party like?

A: It was a bit awkward at first because I had never been naked at a CSPC event before. When no one said a word after I stripped down, I knew that I was in a safe place! In addition, I met someone who would become a play partner.

Q: How often did you attend?

A: As often as I could get a ride out. Coloboma prevented me from driving but later on I was able to get out as far as a park and ride in Redmond and then a taxi cab from there to the Longhouse, then back to the park and ride. The arrival of Lyft and Uber made this easier.

Q: When did you become the Pool Party EC/Host?

A: I became the pool party event coordinator in January 2010 after the previous EC decided to step down. I had built up a good relationship with the Longhouse residents over a six-year period and it was a big help to the success of my tenure.

Q: Were there any changes to the Pool Party during your tenure?

A: The biggest change that I made was expanding the staff of the event. Up until my tenure, there was only one person acting as EC, cashier, and monitor. If I had to leave my post (a desk inside the pool room), I would have to carry the cash box with me. This made it difficult to properly ensure the safety of the event. I was the only one doing setup and strike, but I would have some of our guests offer to help and it was greatly accepted!

I expanded the staff to include a cashier, monitor, and split the EC shift into two. This was a six-hour event, so each shift was three hours in duration so our volunteers could have some pool time. I eventually had two cashier and monitor shifts of the same three-hour length. I did have a setup and strike crew but that varied every month. This made for a better run event, especially for the safety of our guests. Our turnout during the summer grew dramatically after I started heavy promotion on the CSPC FetLife groups and we had our own dedicated pool party group on FetLife.

Q: Were there any instances of the Pool Party that stand out as “Best Party Ever!”

A: We were named Party of the Month in November 2013, if that’s the correct year. I made this a Thanksgiving-themed event and people brought turkey, mashed potatoes, and the typical Turkey Day desserts. I remember that people had a blast during this event, but I was happy to hear that we named Party of the Month thanks to all the positive feedback.

Q: What was the attendance of the Pool Party, typically?

A: It would average around 35–40 people outside the summer months. One summer month we had about 100 people, which was a record breaker for turnout! There was plenty of space for outdoor play at the Longhouse.

Q: Were there any special events held with this party?

A: The biggest special event that I had was an evening fire play event in March 2010. We had our regular party from noon till 6pm then from 7pm till 9pm we had fire play demos — fire whips, spinning poi, and even fire flogging! I did have themed events during some events, such as a spa and massage event where we had an LMP come out and give massages. Once we had a DJ and dancing event. But these were few and far between because it was difficult for some people to get out to the Longhouse.

The Pool Party continued its run at the Longhouse until 2015, when a breakdown in negotiations occurred between the CSPC and the Longhouse over the contract for the Paradise campout in the coming summer. Paradise was canceled in the spring, but the Pool Party was able to keep going for a while longer. On August 16, 2015, the last Pool Party was held at the Longhouse, after a long and successful run of 12 years and two months. Thanks to Brian and all the other CSPC volunteers who helped make this event happen! :^)

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash