by Emma Atkinson
Welcome back to Consent Corner! We’re talking with consent expert Rachel Drake about the nuances of consent, which she assures us will lead to improved interactions. Thanks for joining us as we learn and grow.
In prior newsletters we’ve considered your autonomy: what aspects of an interaction will nurture your mind, body and spirit. Your partner(s) have their autonomy, too. So, how can we create an interaction that rocks everyone’s world?
Rachel suggests that we pay attention to these key concepts for healthy consent interactions she helped develop with the Consent Academy: Capacity, Information, Agreement and Autonomy. We’ll consider each of these concepts thoroughly, starting with capacity.
Capacity means everyone involved in an interaction is able to understand what they are agreeing to, and able to give and/or receive a clear-headed yes or no free of coercion. One way to test if there is good capacity when it comes to power dynamics is that all parties feel comfortable enough to stop whatever is happening at any time for any reason. Have you noticed how if you’re hungry or tired you might not have made exceptionally good choices? How does consuming drugs or alcohol influence your decisions? Have you noticed that a strong emotion like anger or fear can cloud your judgment? Rachel says that we’re constantly influenced by factors like these that can interfere with optimal decision making. She assures us that we’re never operating at 100% capacity – let’s take comfort in knowing that we’re human and we’re always adapting to what life gives us.
Okay, I asked, how can we evaluate our capacity to give consent? Know yourself, Rachel says. Know yourself well enough to consider what could be limiting your capacity. Encourage your partner(s) in their self-reflections and keep the communication flowing. The more diminished one’s capacity the higher the risk of violating consent. If you don't feel good about your capacity or someone else's it is better to say "no".
Rachel encourages us to think of an interaction as a series of events over time. There’s planning, foreplay, play, aftercare, tomorrow, next week, etc., etc. If we’re lucky, that is! What do we want it to look like? Capacity – yours and others’ – can change at any time, so staying transparent is vital to everyone’s best interests.
Stay tuned – more on capacity will be coming your way next time! And, we’d love your feedback at info@thecspc.org.
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If you would like more information about this model of healthy Consent you can contact Rachel Drake at https://racheldraketransformations.com/about
or Consent Academy at https://www.consent.academy/