By Emma Atkinson
Hello sexy readers! Thanks for checking in to see what’s happening in the sexiest corner!
Last time we talked about the FRIES model of consent created by Planned Parenthood. Those folks know a thing or two about sex-related matters, don’t they?
First of all, if you’re talking with someone about consent, you know that good times are likely to be ahead, right? Yay for consent conversations!
Good consent happens when it’s Freely given. Coerced agreements are likely to be, at best, unpleasant for at least one participant, and at worst could be seriously harmful. If you find yourself the recipient of what you perceive as attempts at coercion, remember that “No” is a complete sentence. “No, thank you” also works and gets points for kindness, too.
It might be a good time to practice saying “No” with conviction. And practice in receiving a “No” with grace and compassion couldn’t hurt. Practice furthers you on your way to something resembling perfection.
You’ll know it’s time to ask for help if your “No” isn’t being honored. You might need time to think about a request and consider if it seems like fun. Does it seem like it could be fabulous to do it? Are the others in the consent discussion friendly?
It’s easy to get caught up in a sexy situation and lose your sense of what might be good for you in body, mind, and soul. I’m in agreement with Oscar Wilde: “I can resist everything except temptation.” “More” can be quite tempting in the heat of passion, but its consequences might be unpleasant for some time.
It’s probably a good idea to do a lot of consent discussion before things get hot and heavy. And, it seems wise to engage in these discussions with trustworthy people. Freely given consent to hot and honorable people almost always leads to supremely satisfying experiences. Who doesn’t want that?
Homework: please consider how you’ve given or received consent freely, and share it at: info@thecspc.org.
“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted
“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma