Racial Equity and LGBTQ/SGL Resource List

In honor of Pride month and in support of the current movement for racial equity, we offer a short resource list. We have tried to compile resources that are relevant to the CSPC community and may not have been included in other lists. We welcome your input. If you are aware of resources you think we should know about, especially if they pertain to both racial equity and sex positivity, please forward them to skitty@thecspc.org.

Organizations:

Black Lives Matter Seattle-King County - “a 501(c)(4) nonprofit organization which primarily focuses on advocacy and direct action. The core activists and organizers of BLM Seattle King County is a group of Black and other people of color focused on dismantling anti-black systems and policies of oppression.”

Cares of WA - a 501(c)3 WA State nonprofit that is "Providing Tailored Opportunities For Individuals With Disabilities And Low Incomes To Become Self-Sufficient".  38% of individuals served are people of color.

Northwest Community Bail Fund  - a 501(c)3 WA state nonprofit that "provides cash bail for marginalized people charged with crimes who are unable to afford bail and find themselves incarcerated while awaiting routine court appearances in King and Snohomish Counties in Washington State." 

Ingersoll Gender Center - a long-running community support group for trans and questioning individuals with resources for finding accepting healthcare providers (including the option to sort by insurance network), job boards, support groups, gender-affirming clothing and other financial assistance. 

Gender Justice League - “Washington State gender and sexuality civil and human rights organization headquartered in Seattle, Washington.”

Lavender Rights Project - “advances a more just and equitable society by providing low-cost civil legal services and community programming centered in values of social justice for trans and queer low-income people and other marginalized communities.”

WA Black Trans Task Force - “an intersectional, multi-generational project of community building, research, and political action addressing the crisis of violence against Black Trans people.”

Documentaries/Films:

I am Not Your Negro (2016)

Stay Woke: The Black Lives Matter Movement (2016)

13th (2016)

Stonewall Forever - A Documentary about the Past, Present and Future of Pride

Podcasts:

Intersectionality Matters! With Kimberlé Crenshaw

Momentum: A Race Forward Podcast

Books:

So You Want to Talk About Race? by Ijeoma Oluo

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibra X. Kendi

In the Wake: On Blackness and Being by Christina Sharpe

Dark Matters: On the Surveillance of Blackness by Simone Brown

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad

Territories of the Soul:Queered Belonging in the Black Diaspora by Nadia Ellis

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde

All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks

Events:

Seattle Black Gay Pride - June 20

Leadership Spotlight: Nick Vu

This is the second of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board President, Nick.

• Name and/or scene name: 

  • Nick aka Mandroid

• Pronouns: 

  • They/Them, but any pronouns are fine

• How do you identify? 

  • I’m a mixed race, gender nonconforming, male bodied, switch, poly, queer. But honestly, I don’t hold onto these categories too tightly.

• How long have you been with the CSPC? 

  • 5 years

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest? 

  • I grew up Southern Baptist so worked through a lot of shame throughout my 20s and finally started exploring at 30. The CSPC not only opened my eyes to countless possibilities, but allowed me to observe the nuances of these dynamics in action. I joined the board to offer my experience with startups to the cause of sexual freedom. 

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

  • The Grind. I love dancing, but am socially shy, so if I was ever feeling awkward I could always jump on the dance floor and have fun. 

• Career or day job: 

  • I perfume and run a brand called Namesake Fragrance.

• What do you like to do in your free time? 

  • I write about developmental psychology, run and rock climb, listen to audiobooks constantly, and spend time with friends.

• Living situation: 

  • I’m committed to living alone. No pets, though in the last several years I had an ant farm and a beehive...until they both collapsed. Eusocial animals are endlessly fascinating.

• Something no one would ever guess or a fun fact: 

  • I used to be a competitive Rubik’s cuber, holding 2nd in the country for blindfold solving. 

• Turn-ons: 

  • I dabble in lots of activities, but I’m most fond of silly, playful group sex with my friends as well as finding connection through sexual exploration with a partner. The hottest sex scenes are mundane scenarios and full of tension, because of their relatability. I am very physically responsive, and being licked will make me convulse and flop around in ecstasy.

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community: 

  • My personal hope is that the Center doubles down on prioritizing “trust building”. If we can take the time and care to earn each other's trust, I believe a powerful, active, and adaptable community will emerge. And even if it doesn’t, the time spent boldly caring will have been worthwhile on its own. My concern is that we might be putting routine and logistics before connection, which I suspect is a recipe for burnout. Certainly behind the scenes there are deadlines and things that need to get done, but it would be prudent to establish and nurture connection, which can then serve as motivation for hard work. I haven’t done a good job prioritizing this during my involvement. 

• Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

  • Dial up the warmth, care, and patience you give to people and tasks. Take pride in that effort, regardless, or especially, if it goes unnoticed. These little moments are building an environment of compounding positivity for everyone who steps in it.

• Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about? 

  • I would recommend the Savage Lovecast podcast. https://www.savagelovecast.com/ Living this alternative lifestyle in a vanilla-presenting world can be confounding. It is useful to get regular reminders of healthier ways to navigate unconventional relationships. Note: if you don’t like politics, skip the intro. 

• CSPC e-mail address, title, reasons for contact: 

  • nick@theCSPC.org; board president; reach out with notes of encouragement, concerns, and offers to pitch in.

Consent Corner 1.2

by Emma Atkinson 

Welcome back to Consent Corner! We want to help you better understand how good consent can make your interactions more fun and fulfilling.

The Corner is taking a step back in this newsletter to try to get a little perspective.  Current events—protests and marches—are asking us to acknowledge how systematic bias has become an almost unquestioned part of our society.  In George Floyd’s final moments his rights and autonomy were violated, his pleas for air were ignored, and his consent to the interaction was neither sought nor considered.  Consent is so important!

Homework:  Imagine a world that’s based on consent and respect.  You respect yourself and your choices, and extend that respect to others you know.  You respect people in the communities in which you participate—CSPC, family, friends, neighbors, work, school, geeky clubs (if you’re me)—and they reciprocate by honoring you.  These communities are respected by the nation, and honored by the global community.  That’s a world I’d like to live in, and I’m guessing that you would, too.  Let’s start by making respect and consent an integral part of our interactions in the CSPC community.

We’d love to hear what you’re learning about consent!  Please send your thoughts and questions to: info@thecspc.org.

We Stand in Solidarity

The month of June has traditionally been one of celebration for the LGBTQ/SGL community. This year, we acknowledge the grief that may be felt by our community about the cancellation of many of the Pride celebrations due to the pandemic, and the horrifying events which have led to protests around the country calling for the end of systematic violence and oppression of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People Of Color). These topics are closely related. The CSPC owes a debt of gratitude to the organizers and participants in the historic Stonewall Riots, without whom we would likely not have any reason to celebrate. The Stonewall Riots were started by a trans woman of color, Marsha P. Johnson. She, and many other pioneers, were trans people who also identified as BIPOC. Their actions and experiences remind us that many times, improving society requires standing up and protesting the denial of our rights as human beings.  The CSPC was able to come into existence because of the work of those founding pioneers and was built on the ideas of inclusion and freedom.  

The CSPC wishes to express its grief, sympathy and solidarity to the victims and the families of those experiencing racism, oppression and violence. Today, and every day, we stand with our BIPOC brothers and sisters.  We stand with those who are engaged in, calling for, and working at the positive and lasting societal changes needed to bring about justice and equality in the wake of hundreds of years of systemic injustice, hatred, oppression, and police brutality surrounding BIPOC. We stand united for change, justice, and equality.  

Leadership Spotlight: Mei Woo

This is the first of our spotlights on community members who help the CSPC out in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board Secretary, Mei.

• Name and/or scene name:

  • Mei Woo AKA The Gentle Servant

• Pronouns:

  • She/Her

• How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

  • I identify as a Queer Trans Woman generally and a bottom and sub for Kink play

• How long have you been with the CSPC?

  • First event I attended as a guest was an On the Market event in 2012 when I was in the area for an internship and was going to meet a potential play partner to see if we had chemistry. Became a full member in 2013 and haven’t looked back.

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

  • Geographically I was brought here by family connections. I was an active member of the Spokane scene until 2013 and had heard about the CSPC from locals who traveled to Seattle. I’ve been a submissive as long as I can remember, starting as a service sub and eventually meeting partners who jived in other ways. My main areas of interest right now in terms of play are leather and rope bondage along with some ageplay. 

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why?

  • Ooo… good question. My favorite event was the Morning Wood events, which was really an excuse to get together in the morning, to cuddle and watch cartoons instead of porn (with some fun times in between). It’s unfortunately not a viable party with our current model, but I would love for it to return some time. The current party I enjoy the most is the F*cking Precious, as while I don’t have a little persona, I do have a medium one. 

• Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

  • I am currently an attorney with her own solo practice.

• What do you like to do in your free time?

  • Writing, particularly for TTRPG settings, characters, and the like to be used in games eventually. Also video games (I’m a sucker for shooters and RPGs) and cooking. 

• Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

  • I am married with my partner/Master and our Rabbit Captain Hopps. 

• Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

  • I am an Eagle Scout with the Boy Scouts of America. Never was good at knots though.

• Turn-ons and/or squicks:

  • Turn-ons: head pats (Every. Single. Time.), teasing, being held down, and being forced to kneel

  • Squicks:  Genital mutilation, permanent mutilation in particular. 

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

  • My hope is that the CSPC continues to grow and is able to eventually host more niche parties that, while not necessarily profitable, cater to under-served portions of our community so that they have a place to interact and engage with each other. 

• Advice for a new member or volunteer:

  •  Don’t let being a novice at something scare you off. More likely than not, you can do the thing you’re afraid of trying if you’re willing to put in the time, effort, and a little bit of risk. And, more often than not, what you thought was challenging is actually easier than you thought.

• Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

  • My partner and I are highly supportive of the Ingersoll Gender Center, which is an organization that helps trans and questioning individuals address their needs, including legal, financial, and emotional needs and is one of the (if not the) longest running trans-support organizations in the US. Its support group has been running once a week consecutively for over 40 years no matter what (even now, albeit via webconference).  

• CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

  • mei@thecspc.org, CSPC Board Secretary, records and legal

• Anything else we should know (including any advice for future spotlight questions)?

  • I recommend as a good question: What was your path to your current position?

  • My answer to that: Set-up, registration, Board member at large, President, Secretary.

CONSENT CORNER 1.1

by Emma Atkinson

Welcome back to Consent Corner!  We’re talking with Consent expert Rachel Drake about autonomy and how it relates to great interactions.  I hope you had a chance to think about autonomy (homework from last time) because in Rachel’s thinking it’s about figuring out what you and your partner(s) want for your body, mind, and spirit.

The body connection might mean considering what devices might be brought into play, and the nature of the boundaries you set with respect to them.  It could represent how - and if - you want to be touched.  Safe words or safe signs?  You get to decide.

Honoring your mind could lead you to think about the words that you want to hear in an interaction, or words that ought to be avoided.  Will there be role play, and what roles will we play?  What constitutes a power dynamic, and is it relevant?  How can we interact in ways that enrich us all as much as possible?

What if you’re not sure what you want?  Or, what if part-way through the experience you sense that it’s not quite what you thought it might be and you’re not sure if you still want it?  Good Consent means that you get to pay attention to how you’re feeling and share it in real time with your partner(s).  And, your partner(s) gets to respect your wishes and keep you comfortable, and everyone wins!

How could we honor our spirit?  What might aftercare look like, immediately afterwards and in upcoming days?  It’s highly likely that thorough attention to what our mind and body want will automatically give us what our spirit wants.  And, everyone wins!

Homework:  what would an experience look like that honors you in body, mind, and spirit?  What would it sound like, or taste like, or feel like?

Extra credit:  try out one of your ideas with a friend and get some feedback.  Because, you know you want to!

And, give us feedback at info@thecspc.org.

CONSENT CORNER – WELCOME!

by Emma Atkinson

Welcome to Consent Corner.  Consent:  You’ve heard about it, you know something about it, and you’re probably wondering if there’s more to know.  I’m with you!  That’s why we’re hanging out here in Consent Corner.  We’re going to learn more so we can have more fun.  You’re with me, right?

Consent is an agreement about what will happen in an interaction:  before, during and after.  Agreements are negotiated.  So, how can we make the best possible negotiations so we can make the best possible agreements?  We know that great agreements lead to great interactions, right?  And, who doesn’t want great interactions?

Consent expert Rachel Drake has agreed to talk about it with us in each CSPC newsletter.  She’s been a coach, writer and educator in the field for over a decade, and I’m excited to bring her passion, wisdom and insight to CSPC members.

Rachel’s consent model is firmly grounded in the notion of upholding your own autonomy as well as that of the other participant(s) in an interaction.  She acknowledges how complex it is to give or get good consent – there’s a lot to know!

What does it mean to uphold your autonomy?  It’s taking responsibility for what you do, for your part in an interaction.  The more you know about consent, the better you’re able to act in ways that strengthen your integrity and create meaningful bonds with others.

Fair warning:  Hanging out in Consent Corner means that you’re going to learn a lot about good consent.   You’ll ask yourself meaningful questions.  You’ll probably change how you see consent.  And, I think you’ll also have a lot more fun in the process.  

Homework assignment:  For next time, think about what autonomy means to you.  Think about interactions you’ve had where autonomy was relevant, in a good way or maybe in not such a good way.  Look up the definition of autonomy and see if there’s some aspect of its meaning that you hadn’t thought about before.  No, there won’t be a quiz.

Join me as we visit Consent Corner in each CSPC newsletter.  Questions or comments?  Email info@thecspc.org.

Sexy Lines for the Coronapocalypse

(Free advice worth every penny, from Mistress 7)

If you’re dismayed by the lack of in-person dating during social distancing, try to remember that you can still be flirty even when getting within arm’s reach is verboten. If you feel like that sexy person six paces ahead of you in line might just be the person of your dreams, wave until you get their attention (do not go tap them on the shoulder) and try out one of these sexy lines for our strange times:

·       I see you’re shopping for essentials, too. I had no idea this grocery store carries vibrators!

·       I practice safer sex. How do you feel about full-body latex suits and respirators?

·       You have an amazing voice. That’s become *very* important to me lately.

·       I’m into medical play, and your N95 FFR is really doing it for me.

·       Hi! You look nice. Are you wearing a ring under those gloves?

·       I don’t need to get within six feet of you to make you feel amazing.

·       Wanna have some phone sex from within closed cars across the parking lot from each other?

·       You have pretty eyes, and I’m sure there’s a nice smile somewhere under that face mask.

·       How’s your schedule look around June, or whenever we’re allowed to commingle again?

·       Are you COVID-bonded with anybody? Would you like to be?

… and the line which in the past was sometimes considered unattractive:

·       I literally haven’t been out of the house in weeks.

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t respond positively, take heart. They probably won’t recognize you without protective gear, so you might have a chance to try again post-pandemic.

Accessibility Disappearing Task Force

The CSPC is forming a 6-week disappearing task force (DTF) to brainstorm ideas around access for members with disabilities and other unmet needs. We want our events to be inclusive for our entire sex-positive community. Getting your input will be a vital step toward that goal.

Anyone can join, and your time commitment is limited. Task force members will exchange ideas in six weekly meetings. The meeting times and logistics will be determined by the team, but some possibilities are video and voice conference, text chat, and online document sharing.

Any concern or challenge to attending and getting the most out of CSPC events is in scope for this discussion. Please contact Erik7CSPC@gmail.com to join the discussion and help us make our events more accessible to all.