Leadership Spotlight: Rachel Drake

This is the fourth of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board Member, Rachel, who specializes in policy, ethics, and consent.

  • Name: 

    • Rachel Drake

  • Pronouns: 

    • she/they

  • How do you identify? 

    • Ethically non-monogamous: solo-poly-swinger, queer, kinky switch, CNC submissive. 

  • How long have you been with the CSPC? 

    • 8 years 

  • What was your path to your current position? 

    • I served as the Entertainment and Education Director for New Horizons Adult Social Club for several years producing 350+ sex-positive adult parties and events. I was a professional event planner/manager, and have served on the BoD and consulted for numerous non-profits for three decades.

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • My favorite parties are when I get to see people feeling confident, sexy and safe.

  • Career: 

    • In addition to working on my degree, I currently coach individuals, communities, and organizations in improving their consent and accountability practices. I am also an educator, speaker, and author, currently I am working on my second book. 

  • What do you like to do in your free time? 

    • I enjoy printmaking, flow arts, picnics in weird places, surprise shenanigans, going to the beach to watch the sunset and the moon rise.

  •   Fun fact: 

    • My Pandemic “Drive-thru” BINGO card is almost full! So far I have: Drive-thru margaritas, Drive-thru protest, Drive-thru graduation, Drive-thru movie, Drive-thru rave and Drive-thru strip club!

  • Turn-ons: 

    • Creativity and interesting conversations are big turn-ons for me.

  • Hopes and concerns for the sex positive community: 

    • The pandemic has been hard on the greater sex-positive community. My hope is that this time will be beneficial in that people take the time to get to know themselves and what they want to explore. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Don’t be afraid to speak up and make suggestions, step up and create something you have always fantasized about, ask lot’s of questions! There is a lot to learn and much of the culture is community specific.

  •  Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about? 

Leadership Spotlight: Larry Grella

This is the third of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Chair of the Building Committee (and unofficial historian), Larry.

  • Name and/or scene name: 

    • Larry Grella aka Temptr

  • Pronouns: 

    • he/him

  • How do you identify? 

    • cis male, all identity friendly, Top/Daddy

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?  

    • I joined the CSPC in 2002, was invited to the board in 2005, was a founding member of the FSPC (now Pan~Eros Foundation) and still serve on both boards

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest? 

    • I used to think I must be weird until I found the Center, now I want to help others learn that they are normal and acceptable.

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover: 

    • Temptr@gmail.com, Chair of the Building Committee, Property Search & Construction

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • I have bought & sold properties and am a General Contractor

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • Myself! Party, because it offers anyone a place to fulfill their sexual fantasies without many restrictions 

  • Career or day job: 

    • I am a self-employed General Contractor

  • What do you like to do in your free time? 

    • Ha! I have almost no free time. Not only am I on the Boards of CSPC & Pan~Eros Foundation but I’m also on the Board of The Gathering NW and I’m construction manager for SEAF.

  • Living situation: 

    • I live alone but have several play partners as well as two Miniature American Shepherds

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:  

    • In my early twenties I was a nude model. 

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

    • My favorite types of play are mind fucks and fire play

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community: 

    • I want us to find our own building and get back to being a community center.

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • My advice for new members is to become a volunteer. There is no better way to meet people and to garner credibility.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about? 

Book Review - Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

ScrewTheRoses.png

Cowritten by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, a highly recommended/suggested introductory BDSM manual, is a fun-filled encompassing guide and introduction to the practice of BDSM. 

Written from the perspective of a partnered D/s relationship and based upon their own experiences, the authors present an illustrative and approachable introductory BDSM reference read.  Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is a humorous and straightforwardly written title that is deceptively dense in its content of specialized skill and knowledge.

An introductory acknowledgement of the authors’ gender and orientation is presented in the beginning. This is an acknowledgement of styles and orientation applicable to those not sharing Miller and Devon’s “basic orientation.” Stating, “though a tremendous disparity of attractions, orientations, and kinks exists, we are all human and, therefore, the emotional underpinnings of SM apply to us all.” (ii) Experiences covered are the authors’ and are therefore representational of their M/F D/s dynamic.

The title was created out of the need for better and more accessible information. The  authors as practitioners shared their concern for misinformation and engagement without knowledge or training; inherent risks or danger as well as positive contributions to cultivativating personal sexuality for those seeking information on BDSM and D/s dynamics inspired the creation of this text.

The conversational ease of the writing as well as the frameworks and features/practices covered are welcoming to the reader.  Aspects of “sadomasomythology” are continually addressed as the reader is presented with useful and thorough information. Explicit in both general considerations and safety precautions all while embellished in humor and, most importantly,  still supporting the education and exploration of the reader. A fairly comprehensive and expansive amount of information is conveyed.   

Given that this book was originally published in 1995 and as of 2019 was on its thirty-third printing, the only notes I have on this title I am recommending involve small updates. The book is complete with a seemingly thorough though outdated Appendix. As far as area SM support groups, orgs and places for your shopping needs in Washington state, many seem to be no longer in existence or the contact info is out of date. And the included photos and infographics could use an edit to define the fuzzy nature of the photo and illustrative offerings.

Considerate, accessible, and a highly recommended primer. Enjoy.


Erin Payton Baker, MLIS

pronouns: she/her

(206) 229-2185

Head Librarian

Pan Eros Library

library@pan-eros.org

Miller, Philip and Devon, Molly. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. Northfield, Mystic Rose Books, 1995.

Racial Equity and LGBTQ/SGL Resource List

In honor of Pride month and in support of the current movement for racial equity, we offer a short resource list. We have tried to compile resources that are relevant to the CSPC community and may not have been included in other lists. We welcome your input. If you are aware of resources you think we should know about, especially if they pertain to both racial equity and sex positivity, please forward them to skitty@thecspc.org.

Organizations:

Black Lives Matter Seattle-King County - “a 501(c)(4) nonprofit organization which primarily focuses on advocacy and direct action. The core activists and organizers of BLM Seattle King County is a group of Black and other people of color focused on dismantling anti-black systems and policies of oppression.”

Cares of WA - a 501(c)3 WA State nonprofit that is "Providing Tailored Opportunities For Individuals With Disabilities And Low Incomes To Become Self-Sufficient".  38% of individuals served are people of color.

Northwest Community Bail Fund  - a 501(c)3 WA state nonprofit that "provides cash bail for marginalized people charged with crimes who are unable to afford bail and find themselves incarcerated while awaiting routine court appearances in King and Snohomish Counties in Washington State." 

Ingersoll Gender Center - a long-running community support group for trans and questioning individuals with resources for finding accepting healthcare providers (including the option to sort by insurance network), job boards, support groups, gender-affirming clothing and other financial assistance. 

Gender Justice League - “Washington State gender and sexuality civil and human rights organization headquartered in Seattle, Washington.”

Lavender Rights Project - “advances a more just and equitable society by providing low-cost civil legal services and community programming centered in values of social justice for trans and queer low-income people and other marginalized communities.”

WA Black Trans Task Force - “an intersectional, multi-generational project of community building, research, and political action addressing the crisis of violence against Black Trans people.”

Documentaries/Films:

I am Not Your Negro (2016)

Stay Woke: The Black Lives Matter Movement (2016)

13th (2016)

Stonewall Forever - A Documentary about the Past, Present and Future of Pride

Podcasts:

Intersectionality Matters! With Kimberlé Crenshaw

Momentum: A Race Forward Podcast


Books:

So You Want to Talk About Race? by Ijeoma Oluo

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibra X. Kendi

In the Wake: On Blackness and Being by Christina Sharpe

Dark Matters: On the Surveillance of Blackness by Simone Brown

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad

Territories of the Soul:Queered Belonging in the Black Diaspora by Nadia Ellis

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde

All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks

Events:

Seattle Black Gay Pride - June 20

Leadership Spotlight: Nick Vu

This is the second of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board President, Nick.

  • Name and/or scene name: 

    • Nick aka Mandroid

  • Pronouns: 

    • They/Them, but any pronouns are fine

  • How do you identify? 

    • I’m a mixed race, gender nonconforming, male bodied, switch, poly, queer. But honestly, I don’t hold onto these categories too tightly.

  • How long have you been with the CSPC? 

    • 5 years

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest? 

    • I grew up Southern Baptist so worked through a lot of shame throughout my 20s and finally started exploring at 30. The CSPC not only opened my eyes to countless possibilities, but allowed me to observe the nuances of these dynamics in action. I joined the board to offer my experience with startups to the cause of sexual freedom. 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • The Grind. I love dancing, but am socially shy, so if I was ever feeling awkward I could always jump on the dance floor and have fun. 

  • Career or day job: 

    • I perfume and run a brand called Namesake Fragrance.

  • What do you like to do in your free time? 

    • I write about developmental psychology, run and rock climb, listen to audiobooks constantly, and spend time with friends.

  • Living situation: 

    • I’m committed to living alone. No pets, though in the last several years I had an ant farm and a beehive...until they both collapsed. Eusocial animals are endlessly fascinating.

  • Something no one would ever guess or a fun fact: 

    • I used to be a competitive Rubik’s cuber, holding 2nd in the country for blindfold solving. 

  • Turn-ons: 

    • I dabble in lots of activities, but I’m most fond of silly, playful group sex with my friends as well as finding connection through sexual exploration with a partner. The hottest sex scenes are mundane scenarios and full of tension, because of their relatability. I am very physically responsive, and being licked will make me convulse and flop around in ecstasy.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community: 

    • My personal hope is that the Center doubles down on prioritizing “trust building”. If we can take the time and care to earn each other's trust, I believe a powerful, active, and adaptable community will emerge. And even if it doesn’t, the time spent boldly caring will have been worthwhile on its own. My concern is that we might be putting routine and logistics before connection, which I suspect is a recipe for burnout. Certainly behind the scenes there are deadlines and things that need to get done, but it would be prudent to establish and nurture connection, which can then serve as motivation for hard work. I haven’t done a good job prioritizing this during my involvement. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Dial up the warmth, care, and patience you give to people and tasks. Take pride in that effort, regardless, or especially, if it goes unnoticed. These little moments are building an environment of compounding positivity for everyone who steps in it.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about? 

    • I would recommend the Savage Lovecast podcast. https://www.savagelovecast.com/ Living this alternative lifestyle in a vanilla-presenting world can be confounding. It is useful to get regular reminders of healthier ways to navigate unconventional relationships. Note: if you don’t like politics, skip the intro. 

  • CSPC e-mail address, title, reasons for contact: 

    • nick@theCSPC.org; board president; reach out with notes of encouragement, concerns, and offers to pitch in.

Consent Corner 1.2

by Emma Atkinson 

 

Welcome back to Consent Corner! We want to help you better understand how good consent can make your interactions more fun and fulfilling.

 

The Corner is taking a step back in this newsletter to try to get a little perspective.  Current events—protests and marches—are asking us to acknowledge how systematic bias has become an almost unquestioned part of our society.  In George Floyd’s final moments his rights and autonomy were violated, his pleas for air were ignored, and his consent to the interaction was neither sought nor considered.  Consent is so important!

 

Homework:  Imagine a world that’s based on consent and respect.  You respect yourself and your choices, and extend that respect to others you know.  You respect people in the communities in which you participate—CSPC, family, friends, neighbors, work, school, geeky clubs (if you’re me)—and they reciprocate by honoring you.  These communities are respected by the nation, and honored by the global community.  That’s a world I’d like to live in, and I’m guessing that you would, too.  Let’s start by making respect and consent an integral part of our interactions in the CSPC community.

 

We’d love to hear what you’re learning about consent!  Please send your thoughts and questions to: info@thecspc.org.

We Stand in Solidarity

The month of June has traditionally been one of celebration for the LGBTQ/SGL community. This year, we acknowledge the grief that may be felt by our community about the cancellation of many of the Pride celebrations due to the pandemic, and the horrifying events which have led to protests around the country calling for the end of systematic violence and oppression of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People Of Color). These topics are closely related. The CSPC owes a debt of gratitude to the organizers and participants in the historic Stonewall Riots, without whom we would likely not have any reason to celebrate. The Stonewall Riots were started by a trans woman of color, Marsha P. Johnson. She, and many other pioneers, were trans people who also identified as BIPOC. Their actions and experiences remind us that many times, improving society requires standing up and protesting the denial of our rights as human beings.  The CSPC was able to come into existence because of the work of those founding pioneers and was built on the ideas of inclusion and freedom.  

The CSPC wishes to express its grief, sympathy and solidarity to the victims and the families of those experiencing racism, oppression and violence. Today, and every day, we stand with our BIPOC brothers and sisters.  We stand with those who are engaged in, calling for, and working at the positive and lasting societal changes needed to bring about justice and equality in the wake of hundreds of years of systemic injustice, hatred, oppression, and police brutality surrounding BIPOC. We stand united for change, justice, and equality.  

Leadership Spotlight: Mei Woo

This is the first of our spotlights on community members who help the CSPC out in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our Board Secretary, Mei.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Mei Woo AKA The Gentle Servant

  • Pronouns:

    • She/Her

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • I identify as a Queer Trans Woman generally and a bottom and sub for Kink play

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • First event I attended as a guest was an On the Market event in 2012 when I was in the area for an internship and was going to meet a potential play partner to see if we had chemistry. Became a full member in 2013 and haven’t looked back.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • Geographically I was brought here by family connections. I was an active member of the Spokane scene until 2013 and had heard about the CSPC from locals who traveled to Seattle. I’ve been a submissive as long as I can remember, starting as a service sub and eventually meeting partners who jived in other ways. My main areas of interest right now in terms of play are leather and rope bondage along with some ageplay. 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why?

    • Ooo… good question. My favorite event was the Morning Wood events, which was really an excuse to get together in the morning, to cuddle and watch cartoons instead of porn (with some fun times in between). It’s unfortunately not a viable party with our current model, but I would love for it to return some time. The current party I enjoy the most is the F*cking Precious, as while I don’t have a little persona, I do have a medium one. 

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • I am currently an attorney with her own solo practice.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Writing, particularly for TTRPG settings, characters, and the like to be used in games eventually. Also video games (I’m a sucker for shooters and RPGs) and cooking. 

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I am married with my partner/Master and our Rabbit Captain Hopps. 

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I am an Eagle Scout with the Boy Scouts of America. Never was good at knots though.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks:

    • Turn-ons: head pats (Every. Single. Time.), teasing, being held down, and being forced to kneel

    • Squicks:  Genital mutilation, permanent mutilation in particular. 

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • My hope is that the CSPC continues to grow and is able to eventually host more niche parties that, while not necessarily profitable, cater to under-served portions of our community so that they have a place to interact and engage with each other. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer:

    •  Don’t let being a novice at something scare you off. More likely than not, you can do the thing you’re afraid of trying if you’re willing to put in the time, effort, and a little bit of risk. And, more often than not, what you thought was challenging is actually easier than you thought.

  • Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about?

    • My partner and I are highly supportive of the Ingersoll Gender Center, which is an organization that helps trans and questioning individuals address their needs, including legal, financial, and emotional needs and is one of the (if not the) longest running trans-support organizations in the US. Its support group has been running once a week consecutively for over 40 years no matter what (even now, albeit via webconference).  

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

  • Anything else we should know (including any advice for future spotlight questions)?

    • I recommend as a good question: What was your path to your current position?

    • My answer to that: Set-up, registration, Board member at large, President, Secretary.