Celebrating Neurodiversity!

by Teeebone

In August 2021, the CSPC introduced a new online discussion group for neurodivergent members to meet on Zoom on the fourth Tuesday each month. The ND/DG became so popular that a couple months after its debut, a second time slot was established on first Sundays. This group creates a safe space and provides access for this “community within the community” to talk and be themselves.

Public awareness and celebration of neurodiversity has grown over the last two decades. Founded in 2018 by Siena Castellon when she was 16 years old, Neurodiversity Celebration Week is an official yearly event coming up on March 21-27, 2022. This teenager from the UK had faced many challenges, including prejudice and bullying in school, which motivated her to create this event to address and challenge misconceptions and stereotypes that still prevent autistic people and people with learning disabilities from reaching their full potential.

Supportive recognition of neurodiversity is an ongoing endeavor. While public education still has a way to go on this matter, primarily due to limited school funding, there are encouraging signs from the business sector. Places like AMC movie theaters offering Sensory Friendly Films and Chuck E. Cheese restaurants hosting monthly Sensory Sensitive Sundays are good examples of this. The general public is becoming more educated on this subject and are learning better ways to communicate and connect with neurodivergent people.

Want to find out more about Neurodiversity Celebration Week? Just follow the magic footprints: https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/

And if you’re curious about the ND/DG, we’re on Zoom on the first Sundays of the month from 5-7 pm and the fourth Tuesdays of the month from 7-9 pm–during Neurodiversity Celebration Week this month! You don’t have to be a neurodivergent person to attend, just be aware, respect the space, and be understanding and supportive. :^)

,

Let's Get This Party Started!

,

by Sakari

Do you have any parties centering around…?

Do you have any parties centering around foot worship?  Around poly mingling?  Around WAM?  Around furries?  Around sex in swimming pools?  Around left-handed people?  We get variations of this question all the time.  I wish that we already had all those parties set up, but the truth is, we don’t throw parties.  You, our members, do.  The good news is that if there’s a party or focus you’d like to see at the CSPC, you can bring your vision to life!

Let’s say you desperately want a party with a certain focus.  You can have that if you’re willing to put the work in!  An event like this takes some work, but we have it all set up for you and your team.  It takes about 3-6 months to put an event together and a couple months to get a regular schedule going. 

First step is contacting our Events Director at EventsDirector@theCSPC.org.  They have resources and know-how to help you plan an event, whether it’s your first or fiftieth. 

The process goes something like this:

  • A month or two of envisioning your party while recruiting and creating your team.  What is the theme, what will it look like, feel like, what aspects are needed?  Who is going to work with you on bringing this to fruition? 

  • Sharing a proposal with the CSPC board and presenting at a board meeting.  Once you have your vision, our Events Director will help you flesh it out and write it up into a proposal.  It will be sent to the board a week before the board meeting so they can comment and ask questions.  At the board meeting, you will tell a little about your proposed event, answer any lingering questions, and the board will vote as to whether it can move forward or offer feedback on what it still needs before it can be approved. 

  • Once you’re approved, you’ll work with Events to get posters designed, Operations to get ticketing and website links, and Communications to help with marketing.  You’ll also be promoting the party as you continue planning.  Your first event can happen six weeks to two months from the approval. 

  • As we get close, you’ll be promoting the party and continuing to recruit volunteers for your team.  All CSPC events are by members, for members, and having a committed team of trained volunteers makes every party more fun for everyone!

  • On the night of the event, you’ll be in charge of what the party looks like and how it’s run!  With the support of Events and your volunteer team, you can settle into your groove as the Host with the Most, connecting with party goers and bringing the energy and activities that you envisioned to life.

  • After the first event, you’ll debrief with our Events Director and decide if and when you’d like your next event.  If you’re looking to do the party regularly, we have a policy of two months between the first and second party, ramping up to once a month or whatever your desired cadence is. 

So there you have it!  It may sound complex, but if you have a vision, we have the resources to make it happen and to simplify the process along the way. 

Reach out to EventsDirector@theCSPC.org to get your party started! 

Interested in volunteering? We can’t do what we do without trained volunteers! Many roles are open, both at parties and behind the scenes. Complete your online volunteer orientation and submit your volunteer application form today!

,

Tips for Successfully Navigating Pick-up Play

,

by Turtle

I’m a country girl so when I initially heard the words “pick-up play,” my mind translated to pick-up truck play… hot days, a cooler filled with BYOB, a fire on the river with whatever your line caught for dinner, laughter followed by blatant stupidity at the mud flats to see how far you could run your truck up the muddy cliff before sliding down or the occasional nail biting slow backwards tip-over! All of this well before cell phones and teens having affordable portable video cameras. Thank the Goddess!

Then I joined the CSPC, and pick-up play was explained to me as a scene you plan on the spot, possibly with someone you literally just met. I don’t know about you, but my anxiety rocketed through the roof. I may have had a rictus smile that grew more strained by the second, eyes darting for escape routes, with “It’s not you, It’s me” on the tip of my tongue. I’m sure the back of my head as I dashed from the building was the last that person saw of me. I don’t even remember who it was now. I’m just that shy. Oh sure, I look like an extrovert at times. I joke that I can play one on TV, but I’ve taken many social skills training classes to get there. I have a diagnosis of Asperger’s, which means I’m Neuro-Divergent (ND).

The Neuro-Divergent Discussion Group (ND/DG) has given NDs a chance to more comfortably connect and create skills with community-building tools such as the Pick-Up Play Board used at PPMT, Myself!, and other CSPC events. Of course, many people, whether outgoing or shy, share the same basic fears around meeting someone new, approaching them, asking them to do a thing, delineating the thing with consent fully involved, then doing it all safely and with a maximum fun output.

Things that hold us back from potentially playing with someone we just met:

1)      I see you across the room but have no idea if you are interested. Solution: Next to the Pick-Up Play Board are name tags. Take one, then add your name and whether you are a Top/bottom.  Now, I can see you are interested and can even approach and use your name. A casual scan even tells me whether our Top/bottom designations match up. But even if they don’t, say hi. You never know the entirety of what someone is into.

2)      I really want a certain type of scene or attraction. Solution: By the Pick-Up Play Board are sticky notes. Write down what you want to do or have done to you, how to find you, name. Or the type of attraction you are looking for. Stick it to the Board. Linger on the main floor and talk to others in name tags.

3)      Someone approached me with my sticky note in their hand! Solution: Find a quiet corner. Talk about exactly what you want. Be specific. Do NOT be afraid to ask questions. What, how long, where, who, etc. No is an okay answer as well. Remember FRIES! (See at bottom of article)

4)      Do talk about health concerns! It is very important today to ask about health concerns. These can range from your personal Covid-19 protocols to STIs to physical or mental issues. For example, I’m extremely claustrophobic, so let’s choose a play space out in the open away from corners and not use a blindfold. Or my knees are just not as happy as they used to be, so I can be on my hands and knees or sit in a chair but not the standard slave position.

5)      Nervous? Solution: Ask a staff member to just keep an eye out for your scene.

6)      Note: When playing with implements/toys new to you- make sure they are clean and sanitized. Touch them to feel for weight, heft, how they will feel when they touch you (pick out only the ones you’d like to use), see what they are made of. A lace flogger feels very different from one made from wide leather pieces, or one made of wire.

7)      Bring a Care Bag. Move it close to where you are scening just in case. This bag should have soft comfy clothes to change into, personal lube and condoms, non-latex items if needed, personal hygiene items (no showers at the Gallery,) snacks, water bottle, a comfort item, something to zip jewelry into. If Neuro-Divergent: sensory control items like headphones, sunglasses, earplugs, mp3 player, aftercare blanket. I’m a heavy player so I also bring my own sheet and towels (NOT WHITE), first aid supplies, safety scissors.

Things to remember: Just because you have a pick-up play scene with someone does NOT invite them directly into your regular life. You choose whether you continue contact. It’s a good idea to have a business card with the way you want to be contacted on it for people you meet at parties. Maybe that’s your scene name and CSPC Discord username, or Fetlife name, or a private email.

It’s up to you to “Find Your Way to Yes!” We are here to help you! Feel free to email me or talk to any of the CPSC staff. We will be happy to introduce you around and smooth your passage into our community where you will quickly find you now belong to a great big quirky multi-faceted family! 

Hump History: Origins

by Teeebone

Cue the music: Music video link, Everybody Dance Now - C & C Music Factory [Lyrics] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc8nkyUbZJU

When I first became a member of the SPCC (the Sex Positive Community Center, aka "The Wet Spot" as the CSPC was known back in those days) in the Summer of 2003, I usually attended a twice monthly event called Erotic City–a sex-focused party held on 2nd and 4th Friday nights. For my first 2+ years of membership, all I did was simply attend events. At some point in late 2005, I began to get involved in volunteering as a DJ for Erotic City. Folks liked my music and I felt encouraged enough to formally join the volunteer rolls in 2006.

In May of 2007, the SPCC officially opened the Annex space, and it was at this time that the organization changed its name to the CSPC. This new space allowed us to hold two events on the same night, which led to the creation of new parties. A decision was made to move the Wednesday Drop-in Social to the Annex and create a new party for the Main Space.

I was contacted by the office in November to become part of the "Wednesday Dance Party" team as a DJ. The plan was to form a new crew of volunteers braced with a few of the veteran members who would run the party and train new ECs, cashiers, and ambassadors. The set up and floor plan were directly influenced by Erotic City and The Grind. The music themes were influenced by another party called The Spin, a monthly event that switched music themes each month, although for this new party, it would change each week.

A really big challenge was what to name the event. Indeed, this could make or break the party. Luckily, we came up with "The Hump" (because Wednesday is Hump Day, lol) at the team meeting just a few weeks before go-time. I quickly made a stylized logo and printed up posters. The Hump was part of what could be called the "Second Wave" of parties like The Chill and Myself!.

The first Hump was held on January 30, 2008. Admission was $15. The free social ran from 6-8pm, with the party rocking from 8pm-12am. Total attendance, including staff was 46. (Such humble beginnings!) This was the first step of a very interesting journey for all of us. The Hump Crew was just one of the many teams assembled to create and run parties at the CSPC. 

Interested in becoming part of CSPC history as part of the volunteer team for the Next Big Party? Find out more about volunteering for the CSPC here!

Until next time- :^)

Consent Corner 2.9

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello again, dear friends!  Welcome back to our world, brimming with ideas about consent.

We’ve been considering the intricacies of making and revising consent agreements. Please check out previous editions to review or learn more about what we’ve discussed so far.  

As promised, we’ve been pondering the nature of boundaries and we found a great article on that very topic.  Vanessa Stevens wrote about different types of boundaries here. 

She offers a clear definition of healthy boundaries (spoiler:  they’re called flexible boundaries and you’ll read more about them in future editions here).  And even better, she makes a compelling argument for how they can make our life even more wonderful. 

Homework:  please read what Vanessa Stevens has to say about boundaries and ponder what your boundaries have looked like.  Please share amusing stories or insights with us at:  info@thecspc.org.  And, please stay safe and sexy!  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Celebrating Black History Month--Letter to a Friend

by Cass

Hey friend! Hope this email finds you well.

Well here it is another year, and it is already February. Wow! I guess that means it is also Black History month. 

You know we always ask black people how they’re doing, but how are you doing? I mean, the last few years have been a lot. I know it was exhausting for me, but I know you had to feel some type of way as well. It’s hard to be an ally when you don’t know what would help. 

As long as there have been people, there have been black people. We want the same things as you - to love, prosper, and live our best lives. We just don't want to keep being killed by the police. I know you want the same for us. We’re friends, after all. But maybe you don't know how to support us. Here are some tips to help you with that:

 Hey, I know you have a good heart. I see you and I appreciate you.

I try to remember what Maya Angelou said: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." 

So when you go out, see us for who we are as individuals, not just the stereotype the media portrays. You might be surprised at how similar we are. 

I’m so glad you’re my friend. Hope to see you soon!

Community Matters: Spotlight on The Swirl

by Emma Atkinson

Have you heard about The Swirl Events - the Seattle area’s first Lifestyle group owned and operated by POC and allies?  Are you looking for a culturally diverse and inclusive place where your sexy self is most welcome?  Can you find your way to Kent? 

The Swirl is a small members-only club, and Deziree and Avon want to make sure you have a safe and sexy experience.  They have parties on Friday and Saturday nights every other weekend.  Friday night features fun themes that let members and non-members meet and mingle - for example, Karaoke Night, Erotic Poetry Open-Mic Night, and Kink Night.  After midnight on Friday the social activities give way to a members-only sexy afterparty.  Saturday night is usually a hot dance and sex party.

Don’t let the small size fool you - they’re equipped to support seriously fun times.  The club has nine play spaces, a swing, and a fuck box (!!).  What’s a fuck box?  I don’t know but I’m pretty sure I need to find out, and you probably do, too.  We’ve included a pic to pique your curiosity.  

When you check it out, you’ll want to find your fanciest clothes and plan to dress to impress.  Get more info at their website,  www.theswirlevents.com, and take a peek at the flyers below for some of their upcoming events.  

How great are these humans?  They’re offering us 10% off a new annual membership that’s already an amazing deal - just use the promo code: CSPC.  The CSPC is glad to let you know about places that we think you’d like and, in the process, help our many like-minded communities thrive and prosper.  

Hump History, Prologue: Long Ago and Far Away…

by Teeebone

First, let’s set the mood: All Star - Smash Mouth [Lyrics]

Greetings and hello, folks–Teeebone here! As the CSPC moves into its next chapter, come gather around and let the Bone Man give you the scoop on what things were like back in the day. Mind you, there are many chapters to this story, so let’s start with the basics: Once upon a time, in January 2008, a new party debuted at the CSPC and it was called the Hump.

The Hump was a laid back, sex-focused party held on Wednesday nights on the weekly at the CSPC (Hump Day, get it?). It had a free two-hour social that was open to the public followed by the four-hour party for members and their guests only till midnight. Originally conceived as a dance party, the Hump evolved into a couples and moresomes party geared towards consensual non-monogamy and open to all sexual orientations and genders.

It was the kind of event where you could just show up after work or dinner and hang out or hook up or whatever. You didn't have to have sex if you didn't want to. There was no pressure to "score." The staff did everything they could to make the Hump a safe space to play. For many new members, the Hump was the first CSPC event that they attended after orientation. And if you arrived before 8 p.m., you could take advantage of $5 off admission during “Ecstasy Hours”!

The Hump was the proverbial comfy chair for almost everybody. As an attendee, you could chat in the social area, dance on the main space dance floor, have fun in the cuddle/romp pile, watch porn in the solo space, or have sexytimes in the back room. Some BDSM activity was allowed, such as suspensions, rope bondage, sensation play, and birthday spankings, and on the 1st Wednesdays of the month, there was also the Whump at the Hump, held in the RAW Dungeon next door that allowed full-on BDSM play.

The Hump ran for more than eight and a half years and became a classic CSPC event, ultimately being among the last parties held during the final week of operations before the closing of the CSPC’s original site at Interbay.

What made the Hump so special? The fabulous humans who poured their hearts (and sweat!) into building an event that served up what the community wanted and needed. Want to be part of the team that helps create the Next Big Thing at the CSPC? Learn more about volunteering here!

Until next time- :^)

Consent Corner 2.8

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello wonderful readers!  Welcome back to Consent Corner- we hope that we’re in at least your top three corners, even if we’re not at the tippy top. We’re so glad to have you with us as we ponder the many-faceted jewel of consent.

Shout out to a reader who sent us a lovely note asking us to write more about creating and maintaining boundaries.  We’ve been thinking long and hard (ooh, is it getting hot in here?) about your question and we’ll be talking more about boundaries in upcoming episodes.  It’s *such* an important topic for all of us and it affects *every* part of our lives.  Stay tuned.

A key part of creating boundaries is creating agreements, and our previous episode considered creating agreements with new partners.  Once you’ve made these agreements, you’ll want to revisit them from time to time, and that’s our topic today.

Revisiting your agreements means talking about them, so the first thing to do is create a space in which everyone feels comfortable to express their likes and dislikes.  It means openness and honesty.  It means making sure you’re understanding what’s said.  And, it means listening without judging.  

It’s a lot to ask, we know, and we know that you can do it!  When you see how well it can work for you, you can lavish praise upon us later.

If we’ve learned nothing else in the past two years, as COVID has been smacking us upside the head, it’s that things change.  We’re all getting older, our bodies change, our needs and wants change - who can keep up?  You can.

We suggest revisiting your agreements at least once a year, though a quarterly conversation might work better for you.  How about at the Solstice and Equinox times?  How about monthly, at the ides?  It didn’t work out so well for Caesar, but it just might work for you.  Just knowing that there’s a scheduled time to talk can help even the most reticent of us open up in conversation.  

There’s a great tool for a relationship check-in at multiamory.com called RADAR. That means: 1) Review, 2) Agree on the agenda, 3) Discuss, 4) Action points, and 5) Re-connect.  Please check them out for the details, and you’ll find lots of other potentially useful information there, too.  

Homework:  review the RADAR model at the multiamory site and revise it for your own purposes.  And, check-in with us at:  info@thecspc.org. 

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel