Consent Corner 2.14

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake 

Hello again, sexy and sassy readers!  We hope you’re keeping it real, today and always.

We’ve been pondering the nature of authenticity recently, as we’ve had occasion to participate in events that more traditionally appeal to a younger demographic than yours truly.  Has this ever happened to you:  you’re somewhere and suddenly you feel different from others around you?  Maybe you belong to a different race or gender.  Maybe your cultural background or sexual orientation is different from almost everyone else’s.  Maybe you’re: younger, older, wearing a mask, not wearing a mask, wearing a veil, or “fill in the blank here.”  Have you ever felt like an outsider or thought that you might not belong there?  

In our view, authenticity means that you’re showing up in the world as your true self.  You know who you are and who you aren’t.  You’re aware of what you like and what you don’t like quite as much.  Authenticity is keeping it real.  

You don’t owe the world or anyone else any more or less than that.  When you show up in the world as your authentic self, you give the world a chance to adore you just as you are.  And, how amazing is that?  

Consent agreements work when all participants are true to themselves.  Good consent happens when real people are involved in the process.  And, where there’s good consent, good pleasure almost always follows. 

Homework:  please practice keeping it real, and share your real experiences with us (for real) at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Hump History Year Three: Third Time's a Charm

by Teeebone

As the Hump entered its third year of operation, about half of the original founding volunteers had left the roster for various reasons. We were fortunate that we were able to find people who shared the same kind of enthusiasm and dedication to the party as the initial team members. I’ve mentioned this before: keeping your party well staffed is a challenge that every Party Champion must face.

In late February, the Hump celebrated Mardi Gras with a King Cake, complete with a "Find the King Cake Baby" contest since it was so much fun the year before. The Hump theme selected by the winner of the contest was a "Hot Buns Night" which was held in July. This event also saw the debut of TK as one of our resident DJs.

In March, the Hump and a few other events got canceled for a week while the CSPC negotiated with an insurance carrier, though we were back online by the next week. During this month we also held a fundraiser to buy and replace the old futons.

In mid-June, there was some discussion about moving the Whump from third Wednesdays to first Wednesdays of the month. The push for this was that while the Whump was held in the RAW Dungeon, the monthly CSPC Board Meetings were being held in the Annex in approximately the same time slot. With a buffer of only 10 feet or so between these two spaces, music and noise would occasionally be heard during the meeting, so it was decided to move the Whump over to first Wednesdays starting in July.

In September, Cuddle Huddle was introduced as a regular feature during the cooler months of the year during the social on third Wednesdays. This event became very popular, bringing in 12-20 attendees wanting to experience and learn more about cuddling. Also included were discussions about touch, intimacy, consent, and boundaries.

By the end of the year, the Hump was scheduling fewer special features than it had in its previous two years. This was due partly to staff (and talent) exhaustion, but also the recognition that the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture (now the Pan Eros Foundation) was better suited for providing workshops and classes for the education of the membership in general. Cuddle Huddle continued, but special features became less frequent from now on.

On January 2nd, 2011 it was formally announced that the Hump had tied the Grind for the Members Choice Award for the 2010 Volunteer Awards. In the space of three years, the Hump had become a well-known fixture at the CSPC. Here are some of the compliments:

"I love the vibe and the people running and attending it."

"There are so many things I haven't tried yet. This party gives me and other new folks an opportunity to try new things in a safe place."

"Social time, good food, dancing, great music, great sex!"

"It's cool, laid back, sensual, conversational, intimate and not too kinky."

"I can actually hang out and talk because the music isn't too loud, but I can also play in the back. Nice having both a social and a play party together."

"Fresh, variety of themes. Excellent party hosts, first rate ambassadors, social and welcoming to everyone. The music is not overpowering. The variety of social-hour "mini workshops" on dance, community issues, etc. They have a better-than-a-cheese-plate food selection usually."

It took us three years to get there, but the Hump had managed to break all expectations in terms of attendance and partygoer experience. And 2011 was just getting started…

Until next time... :^)

The Frolic 2022: From Fantasy to Fulfillment - The Pathway to Yes

Save the date for The Frolic 2022, the CSPC’s members-only, weekend-long, kinky campout! We know it's getting close, and we promise tickets will go on sale soon. 

Due to popular demand, we’re holding two (that’s right, TWO) weekend campouts this summer on private property in Snohomish County, complete with meals, education, and kinky sexy play, each with their own unique flavor! Here's a little taste of what you have to look forward to… Anticipation makes everything so much yummier!

Weekend 1 - July 22-24th - Know Yourself

Wants, Needs, Cravings

  • Featuring classes on Needle Play 101, Dessert Topping, Rope Skill Share, Finding and Sharing Boundaries, Finding Intimacy with an Uncomfortable Body, Power Dynamics, Sexy Communication Skills and more! 

  • Activities include outdoor fun and games (Lube slip-n-slide, anyone?), Campfire, and the Talent Show featuring the BDSM Dating Game!

Weekend 2 - Aug 5-7th - Know the Game

Mind, Body, Energy 

  • Featuring classes on Digital Orgasm (fingers), the 3 Minute Game, Needles that Hurt, Impact, Stomping, Playing with Skin, A View From My Knees, and so much more!

  • Activities include outdoor games, Campfire, a Kinky Carnival, and a surprise Saturday entertainment!

Things to look forward to that are different from The Frolic 2021: meals are included and Friday check-in as early as 10 am.

COVID policies: Proof of vaccination is required; masks are optional at this outdoor event.

Want to volunteer? Email frolic@thecspc.org 

Want to perform? Email tk@thecspc.org 

Welcome to All In!

by Jadzia, All In! Co-Champion

All In is called the Pan Party 

As in Pansexual and Pan gendered. 

But I think of the party as a party for everyone. 

Because it is All In. 

What is your kink? 

What do you find sexy? 

What power dynamic gets you off? 

At this party it is All In. 

If it is allowed at the Center for Sex Positive Culture, it is All In. 

If you would enjoy doing it in public, it is All In. 

If it is something you have never done before but have always wanted to do, it is All In. 

If it is something you do at every party you have ever been to, it is All In. 

The party is only as sexy, as hot, as intense, as fun as you make it–so come make it All In and more! Want to socialize? Do impact play? Bondage? Show off your fetish finery? Find a play partner or mentor? Have sex? This is the place and time! Our lights are high enough to see the whips, our music low enough to hear the moans. We will have food and social areas, sex space, play stations, and hard points- everyone is included! Any play sanctioned by The CSPC is on the table for this party. If you’re going to get messy, bring a tarp and check in with the EC! Whether you are gay, straight, queer, bi, cis, trans, gender non-conforming, dominant, submissive, a switch, top, or bottom, this party is for you.

Get your tickets today! Attendance is limited to 120, and tickets must be purchased online. If you have questions, please email us at allin@thecspc.org! To stay up to date as well as discuss play plans, rides, scene ideas, or any other mischievous debauchery, check out and join our Fetlife Group!

Kinderkritters: Wired

Artist credits: Character silhouette by Riddlr. https://riddlr0w0.carrd.co/

Kinderkritters is the CSPC's answer to ageplay and petplay events. Kinderkritters: Wired is a virtual event catering towards those interested in petplay, ageplay, and age regression. Join us on Zoom from 8-11 p.m. Pacific Time on Saturday, May 28, to bond, bark, purr and play with us! Precious interactions abound at these events hosted for and by littles, middles, caregivers, pets, and handlers. Whether you're looking to learn more about ageplay or petplay, or just looking for new friends to have a playdate with, we welcome all who are curious or brave enough to scamper, toddle, or pounce into the event!

What can one expect from a virtual ageplay and petplay event?

⦁ Show and tell - for showing off drawings, outfits, stuffies, toys, gear, and everything else to be proud of.

⦁ Story time - for those who want to be read to, or want to tell their own stories.

⦁ Discussion groups - for making friends, sharing ideas, and learning from peers.

⦁ Jackbox games - party games which can be hosted virtually via a livestream and played on many devices with internet access.

⦁ Chill section - in case anyone becomes overwhelmed and needs to take a breather, there will be a calmer and less structured section.

Please be mindful

Due to the nature of age regression and the risk of encountering childhood trauma triggers with both ageplayers and regressors, we ask all attendees to be especially vigilant about respecting consent and boundaries during the event, and to be mindful about the needs of other attendees. Attendees are also encouraged to self-soothe as is necessary; this is one of the major reasons why there will be a chill section. Verbal trigger warnings before discussing certain heavier topics are highly encouraged.

Get your tickets here–we can’t wait to play with you!

Have party-specific questions? Feel free to contact us at kinderkritters@thecspc.org.

Leadership Spotlight: Meet Jadzia!

This is the nineteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our super-volunteer and Party Co-Champion of the All In! Pan Party (coming next Friday, May 27!) and LaQueer, Jadzia Quacks.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Jadzia Quacks

  • Pronouns:

    • She/They

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • Trans and Queer for gender and orientation. Kinkster is the best one word for my Kink and bdsm roles, though I am always exploring, always questioning. 

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • I became a member in 2018 

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • I had some experience with kink before before coming out as Trans and Queer, and before moving to Seattle, so I wanted to find play partners and community. More so I wanted to explore what sex, intimacy, and kink meant to me as a person who is Queer and Trans. I came to the Center for Sex Positive Culture because it advertised itself as a space that was body pody positive, sex positive, and inclusive of all gender expressions. I was not disappointed.

    • I enjoy impact play as a top or bottom. I like to push (firmly but slowly) at the edges of my comfort zone in regards to sex and intimacy. I also get off on helping others to explore their own understandings of those topics.

  • Email/title/role:

    • As Co-Champion of LaQueer and All In! I can be reached at LaQueer@thecspc.org or Allin@thecspc.org. I don’t have an official title with the Center, but I have at one time or another covered every position at an in-person event. Along with some others, I Champion LaQueer and the All In! Pan Party. I also co-host the Queer discussion group that meets online.

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • I started volunteering as a way to get into parties for free. It also gave me a reason to stand around and not feel awkward for standing around. I kept trying different roles as a way to push at the edges of my comfort zone and force myself to have some responsibility and accountability. When Sadie and Sakari were stepping back from hosting the All In! Pan Party, I took over co-Championing duties with another volunteer. Out of a need to secure an EC for that party, I took the steps to become certified for that role. Then when LaQueer was getting started again, people who were interested reached out to me and we made the party happen. Other than getting in for free, I like to volunteer because I like to help others have a space to explore as I did; and because I have never been the only Trans person at a CSPC party, I wanted to reinforce that visibility for myself and others. 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • LaQueer and All In! were my favorites before I became a lead in making them happen, and they still are. I love Fresh Meet because I am a Tasting Top there, and that party gives me the chance to help introduce new people to impact play as well as consent and negotiation. I have a lot of fun at Myself! and Power Play Mixed Tape as well. 

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • Video editing/graphic design.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • Try to spend time with friends, build community, hunt for pervertables, learn more about kinky stuff. 

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I live with two roommates and one cat, who occasionally lets me pet him.

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I was born 9 months and 1 day after my parents were married.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks:  

    • I love impact play, topping or bottoming. I find anyone who owns themselves to be sexy. I have only encountered a few things that squick me out, but I wonder if they will continue to do so over time.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • I just hope we keep the spreading the ideas of sex positivity, body positivity and consent culture, in whatever situation we find ourselves. 

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Spend some time deciding on what you want, and what is possible. Determine your boundaries and what zones of comfort exist around those boundaries. Don’t ever forget you have the ability to stop doing what you are doing. 

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • I think we need to define and maintain healthy boundaries, within ourselves and with others. I believe that doing that promotes healthy communities where we together or as individuals can be our true selves. 

Huge gratitude from the CSPC to Jadzia and our other volunteers! Interested in supporting your CSPC community by joining in the volunteer action? You can learn more and begin the volunteering process with the online orientation at https://thecspc.org/volunteering.

The Life of the Party

by Teeebone

What is the life expectancy of a given party at the CSPC? In my experience, parties typically last somewhere between two to three years. Historically, once a party got past its third year, it tended to become a fixture. If longer running parties did end up shutting down, they were remembered as classics.

But parties come and parties go. From a big picture perspective, each party has its own natural life cycle. As an event coordinator, champion or host, you help build a core team of like minded individuals who share a vision of what the party is about and give it purpose. You develop personal leadership skills to hold the crew together, and if somebody needs to step back for any reason you find folks who can take their place. Staffing the events and keeping the talent within the team are the greatest challenges team leaders face when running regularly scheduled parties, whether they are quarterly, monthly, or weekly. That’s why we at the CSPC always (and often) encourage folks to become volunteers.

The next most important thing to having a trusty and reliable staff is holding on to your audience. Even before the party actually happens, you have to plan things out. You have to ask yourself hard questions like what the target demographic is or if the event is financially viable. You plan and plot with your fellow champions, compose your pitch, and then present it to the Board. Once it gets approved, it’s game on!

Even when there’s an audience waiting to attend your party, you’ve got to do the heavy lifting of party promotion on FetLife, Discord, and other social media. Generating excitement and anticipation is crucial, especially if it's a new party, though I have seen success stories with rebrands and reboots too. Sometimes it’s necessary to change things up during a party's tenure to keep the attendees coming back for more.

As Host/EC/Champion of the Hump I saw and dealt with all these issues in one fashion or another. Each party has its own lifecycle based on team dynamics, community support, and the natural ebb and flow of something fading so that something new and exciting can take its place. When the team for every new party first gets together, they are filled with the drive, enthusiasm, and desire to “DO” that party. And then they make that party happen. People show up and everyone there has a booty-shakin’ good time. For one bright, shiny moment... They are all HAPPY.

All new parties typically enjoy a honeymoon period of six to twelve months, then attendance stabilizes and then declines over time. But that’s just part of the nature of things: parties come and go, they create great memories, and then inspire the next wave of party champions.

Because none of the CSPC’s parties can happen without volunteers first. If you are into some particular hotness or belong to a specific segment of our community, consider creating or working at a party that caters to what you are into. The CSPC makes it easy to volunteer! Just follow the magic footprints...

When Opposites Attract: Flexibility and Boundaries

by Eirikah Delaunay

In the CSPC New Member Orientation (and elsewhere), we talk about consent in terms of Yes and No, with Maybe also falling in the No camp. Your personal Yes and No are your boundaries in a given situation. Those boundaries keep you aligned with your own authentic desire and help you build relationships on a basis of clarity and consent. 
Sadly, knowing and communicating our boundaries have gotten a bad rap as being “mean” or “rigid,” when that is actually the key to true intimacy with ourselves and others. Check out what Intimacy Coach Veronica Puryear has to say about the beauties of flexibility and boundaries. Find her online at https://indelicatecoaching.com or @Indelicate_Coaching on IG.

Get Twitterpated at Fresh Meet!

Are you looking to feel twitterpated? 

Are you looking for new friends?

Are you looking for community and engagement?

Me too!

Spring is in the air and SEX is on my mind! Oh.. it's on your mind too? But after two years of hunkering down, how do you GET OUT to meet others?

Come to Fresh Meet this Friday, May 6th at 8 p.m.!

Wait... What is Fresh Meet?? 

Fresh Meet is an event dedicated to building community! Whether you are new to kink, new to the CSPC, or want to meet more kinky folks, Fresh Meet will have something for you! Join us at the gorgeous Gallery Erato where we will have sexy mingling, play space, and a few kink tastings.

Not a member of the CSPC yet? No worries! New Member Orientation (NMO) will be held immediately beforehand at 7 p.m. Purchase your tickets for the event including the New Member orientation if you are not a member, and for the event only if you are already a member.

NMO: https://thecspc.org/events/orientation-fresh-meet/2022/may

Members: https://thecspc.org/events/fresh-meet/2022/may

See you there!