Leadership Spotlight: Kelly

This is the seventh of our spotlights on community members who help out the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at Board Member and Programming Team Co-Lead, Kelly.

• Name and handle: 

  • Kelly (Jagged_Edge on FetLife)

• Pronouns: 

  • She / Her

• How do you identify? 

  • I am a cis-female and I present as quite feminine and have a very assertive personality. I am pan-sexual and while I have led and followed in relationships, I identify most as an s-type. I am highly primal and identify strongly as prey.

• How long have you been with the CSPC? 

  • I began volunteering in 2012. 

• What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest? 

  • I always thought there was something peculiar about my sexuality and the way I related to men in that realm. When I found BDSM in 2000, I realized that there were words that described me and that I was not alone. I found self-acceptance in learning about BDSM and the courage to be myself, and to let that authenticity be seen by others. 

  • I am here to help others learn about themselves and to develop the courage to live authentically, to the extent they are safe to do so. My passion lies with working with people newer to kink, or simply new to the Seattle kink scene. 

• CSPC e-mail address, roles, and areas you cover: 

  • My email is kelly@thecsp.corg. In addition to working on the board, I currently co-lead the Programming Team (programming@thecspc.org) and am the program manager for the Passport Program (cspc.passport@gmail.com). So, I am the appropriate person to contact if you are interested in starting any kind of programming at the CSPC or if you have any questions or are interested in attending Passport. I would also love to hear from you if you are interested in working on the programming team or volunteering in any way with the CSPC. 

• What was your path to your current position? 

  • The CSPC was the first place I’d ever undressed and played in public. Volunteering quickly allowed me to find a chosen family with whom I could finally, really be myself. I am outgoing and work well with others, so serving as an ambassador, a role we don’t currently utilize, was a natural fit for me. I then began monitoring and at about the same time, with a fellow volunteer I began co-leading the Passport Program, which helps newer community members acclimate to and learn more about the sex-positive culture. 

  • Soon after, I also began working with the Programming Team, evaluating the large number of parties we were running at the time, and then in 2014 I utilized my event planning skills to lead the team producing the Masquerade fundraiser. I went on to co-champion both Passport and OnRamp, an educational-based party. 

  • I started the newest version of the Programming Team in 2018 and continued managing Passport while championing two parties, Fresh Meet and PAINS. I was asked to join the board in April of this year. 

• Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

  • Unfair question… Passport is my baby and I very much enjoy serving our community as its program manager. My favorite party to attend was In Irons, which was one of our hardest S&M parties in our old space. It encouraged party-goers to really exude their internal experience while they played (the party tagline was “We like to hear you scream!”) I would like to bring it back, incidentally, so please let me know if you would like to champion the party.

• Career: 

  • I am in sales and sales management. 

• What do you like to do in your free time?

  • These days, I enjoy paddleboarding and I swim with a monofin and a mermaid tail. There is nothing like swimming swiftly through the water - it is so freeing. I also like softball, music and frisbee. 

• Living situation: 

  • I am poly and live in an intentionally-built poly household. I have three male partners and one female partner. We practice kitchen table poly, so I know my metamours, and my partners know one another. I have no pets, but am planning on getting a puppy when I can.

• Fun fact: 

  • I had to have much of my lower jaw removed and reconstructed due to aggressive tumors. I had amazing surgeons and am healthy now.

• Turn-ons and squicks: 

  • Oh, what a great question. As an auralist, I am turned on by sound, and have a thing for voices. I also appreciate subtle, confident dominance. I am undone by vulnerability and authenticity… and violence. Admitting what squicks me out offers way too much ammunition to my partners, so I will keep those to myself. I will say though, that I believe that an individual’s authentic sexual expression is a human right and I don’t align with the “my kink is fine but yours is not” mentality.  

• Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and the greater sex positive community: 

  • I would like for us to once again become the community center that I loved, only better. I assess that BIPOC are under-represented in our community and I want to ensure that we are creating a space for everyone. I hope we have a building of our own as soon as we can and begin creating parties and programming that serve us all. I want for us to have a home where we can all explore and be our authentic selves. I am concerned that people don’t have the opportunity to learn how to explore safely and intend to continue creating educational opportunities so we can continue to explore ourselves and invite collaborators.

• Advice for new members or volunteers: 

  • For new members: I know it can be scary to begin exploring a world that is new, not only are the people and many of the terms new, but you might be taking steps that force you to get to know yourself in different ways. I celebrate your decision to take those courageous steps. The best thing I did when I was in that space was to begin volunteering. I immersed myself in this subject matter and with people I could learn from and by whom I could be cared for. 

  • For new volunteers: Don’t be shy. Jump in. Be forthcoming with your abilities if you are open to utilizing them and share what you would like to learn so we can get you hooked up with the opportunity to contribute while you are learning. We need you more than you might even know. Please don’t assume you don’t know enough, if you are open to learning and showing up, we will be thrilled to have you. There is room for everyone.

• Is there an event or organization, outside of the CSPC, that you feel our community should know about? 

  • The Seattle community has changed a lot over the years and there are now so many venues to be explored and celebrated. Once we are able, I recommend exploring them. We all offer something a little different and you are bound to learn things about yourself or can at least count on making some new friends. For now, it is probably worth seeking out some of these organizations to see if they are offering programming during Covid.