by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake
Warm springtime greetings from our corner to you! We’ve been relishing the feel of some warm-ish breezes, the sight of perky daffodils swaying in those breezes, and the heady though short-lived scent of hyacinths. What a great time to talk about consent!
We recently came across a crossword puzzle clue that read something like: able to freely discuss one’s kinks. Our first thoughts were along the lines of: fortunate and open-minded. The answer that fit in the puzzle’s appropriate boxes was “sex positive” - quite an apropos definition, in our opinion.
In a consent discussion, each participant will ideally feel comfortable discussing their idiosyncrasies. These specific traits - or “kinks” in sex-related discussions - are what make each of us the unique and lovely beings that we are.
Since you’re reading this edition in the CSPC newsletter, you likely consider yourself to be sex-positive. But what does it mean to be sex-positive? If we asked 10 people to define the term, we’re likely to get 10 different answers. The answers would no doubt be similar in many ways, yet there would be subtle differences that reflect each individual’s ideas and experiences. And that’s a wonderful thing! Our differences are a cause for celebration.
Sharing information about how we personally define terms is an act of discovery to help make meaningful agreements. Understanding those differences is such an important part of a clear consent conversation to be able to uphold our own autonomy, and that of others.
The CSPC is embarking on a member-sourced sex-positive dictionary project that hopes to capture the nuances of our combined knowledge and experience. Please consider adding your voice as we learn and grow together.
Homework: ponder what “sex-positive” means to you, and jot down your thoughts so you’re ready to add them to the collective dictionary.
“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted
“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel