Important Changes for In-Person Events

As the CSPC returns to indoor events at the Gallery Erato, we have put some changes in place to help keep our members and volunteers safer during the ongoing pandemic.

First, we are requiring proof of COVID vaccination for all attendees and volunteers at in-person events. This will be checked at the registration desk. Please be sure to bring your vaccine card or state immunization record along with your ID.

Second, at our indoor parties we will be requiring masks for all party attendees and volunteers. The only times masks should be taken off are when it would be necessary to do so. Some examples are eating, drinking, or engaging in a scene with a partner. If you’re in a scene and need to leave it temporarily (e.g. to go to the restroom) please mask up first.

Third, we’re asking that all attendees give one another space. We find that people in the sex-positive community are already good about asking for consent regarding touch, and this will be increasingly important now after so long apart. Please be extra careful to ask before entering somebody’s personal space or touching them. It’s exciting to see all of our friends again, but not everybody will be comfortable going in for hugs just yet.

To make the transition a little easier, we’ve limited the size of the Myself! Party in September to 100 tickets, plus up to 18 volunteers to staff the party. This will keep us well below the Gallery’s maximum occupancy, and allow for more personal space. We’ll be monitoring this policy and revising as necessary for future events, to find the right mix of fun and safety.

Thank you all for being here with us. We’re very much looking forward to seeing you soon, in person and/or at our virtual events. Stay safe, and stay sexy!

Questions? Comments? Please write us at info@thecspc.org.

Consent Corner 1.27

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers!  Are you wondering what’s up with the world these days?  We’re with you.  We’re reminded that life is always changing.  Just when we think we’ve got something figured out, like masks or vaccines, life seems to toss us something new.

We’re reminded of a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke titled “Moving Forward”, translated by Robert Bly:

“The deep parts of my life pour onward, as if the river shores were opening out.  It seems that things are more like me now, that I can see farther into paintings.  I feel closer to what language can’t reach.  With my senses, as with birds, I climb into the windy heaven, out of the oak, in the ponds broken off from the sky my feeling sinks, as if standing on fishes.”

Of course poems are inherently mysterious and open to our own personal interpretations.  That image of standing on fishes resonates with us, as we hope it does with you.  It seems to capture a sense of life taking us this way and that, as fish dart here and there when currents and circumstances change.  

Until we can embrace you for real, up close and personal, we offer you virtual hugs.  And virtual floggings, bondage, spanks, whips - whatever your kinky heart consents to.  

Homework:  please share your thoughts on consent with us as we reimagine the next iteration of your favorite corner:  Consent Corner.  You can send questions, lavish praise, and tokens of appreciation to:  info@thecspc.org.  You know you want to!

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Reflections From The Frolic

by Skitty

This past weekend, just under fifty fully-vaccinated CSPC kinksters gathered at an idyllic ten-acre property in Snohomish for the inaugural Frolic camping weekend. It was a sensual, sensational success! Here are a variety of reflections sent to us by some of the attendees:

“After a year and a half of playing indoors, locked in the bedroom, trying to keep quiet so the kids don’t hear - it was liberating to scene outdoors, with proper dungeon equipment, and an appreciative audience.”

“Great venue - The grounds were fabulous. The outdoor hot water shower was much appreciated.”

“Relaxing and exciting at the same time. I felt like I was at a kinky retreat. I was able to unplug from my regular routine and reconnect with myself and my partner outside of our daily lives.”

“When I first arrived and saw one of my favorite fellow volunteers, we both dropped what we were carrying and ran to hug each other. The last time we hugged was to say goodbye at the start of quarantine. We thought it was for a few weeks or maybe a month or two. That was over 18 months ago! During the first day of Frolic, as I found each of my fellow volunteers, I almost cried. I was so happy to be with them again. Having a whole weekend with my chosen family was such a gift. I had finally made it home.”

“Friendly people. For the most part, people were friendly and inviting without being intrusive.”

“Safe. I felt free to be myself and wasn’t worried about creepers, non-vaxxers and other human hazards.”

“We will definitely try to come back in the future. Thanks for a wonderful event!”

“It was wonderful to feel freedom to do things outdoors, in a safe environment, that I wanted to do for years. Thank you for your help and support with that. It seemed like you wanted to find a way to make that happen for us - I really appreciated that.”

“The extended duration and privacy of the event contributed so much. Saturday was the first time in my adult life when I woke up and went to bed without a single moment during the day when I needed to mask the nature of my preferences and my relationship.”

“The depth of knowledge and care in craft and safety: sitting around the fire pit, after some discussion of fireplay, I asked a question for resources about branding. I learned so much more than I even would have hoped for from the discussion. Not only that what we’ve had in mind could really be done responsibly only by an experienced professional - but the ins and outs, whys and wherefores of that fact. All discussed with care and absent of judgment.”

“Seeing the community itself: sui generis. In the circle at the closing ceremony, I was touched by the memories shared of the woman [Allena Gabosch] who died. While I never myself met her (this was basically my first CSPC event), I could feel the community in that moment – not just in the memories that were shared, but more so by the looks of recognition from others around the circle who were listening to those shared memories.”

“One of my favorite moments was getting in a group of people and playing a variation of truth or dare. I was surprised at the amount of cartwheels I was dared to do, and happy I got my hair pulled.”

“There was a sense of community that I’ve been missing. I saw sharing of ideas, feelings and warmth.”

“It’s been a couple years since I’ve had space and time to dance with my whips. Getting out onto the field, with the music playing ambiently, and dancing was a highlight of my Frolic. Such an amazing thing to just be able to move and play and crack among people who appreciated it, in a place with a space.”

“It was a pretty chill weekend. It was good to be isolated from the outside world. Everyone was welcoming and accepting.”

“Being among so many people of like mind, the conversations were incredible. I met folx from all over and got to talk about our interests and deep connections. There’s someone I hope is going to message me and explore! Being there with people I knew had had vaccine cards checked, out of the city, with folx I knew I didn’t have to filter myself around the way I do with vanillas felt so safe and validating, especially after a year and a half of isolation.”

“The kinky card game was a great way to get to know people: who’s silly, who’s serious, who’s  playful, and who’s mischievous.”

“Making love on a mattress, in the shade of the trees with the breeze on bare skin, was such a treat.”

“At the VIP meals, the conversation was lively and interesting, constantly.”

“I got to meet my long distance girlfriend for the very first time. I won my first high quality paddle. On top of that, I got to spend a weekend with some of my favorite people in the entire world, meet some new favorite people and have an absolute blast!”

“The play was wonderful. I got to do a couple scenes and the high is still with me.”

“With the freedom to play at will over a full weekend surrounded by gorgeous scenery, it’s no wonder I have too many favorite moments to pick just one. Hard work and forethought showed in every detail. I’ve been waiting a long time for this kind of getaway.”

“My favorite moment was after the day's energies brought many of us together around the flame. Each coming from our own burnt embers of kinky energy to share in an enrichment. Being shown manipulations of fire and some participation in the same. The wisdom of an elder retelling stories to pass on his own passions. Coming together in one place, to share in community in the dark, comforted by lighting it up around the campfire.”

“I can sum up my favorite moment in two words: outdoor orgasm.”

Consent Corner 1.26

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers!  We hope you’re well and happy.

The Corner is currently busy soaking up the many pleasures that summer has to offer.  We sincerely hope you’re doing the same.

We’re doing it all for you, of course, so we can return refreshed and invigorated.  You’re most welcome!  

We wish you love and joy until we meet again…

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Consent Corner 1.25

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello again, sultry sexy readers!  We’re enjoying the special sultry weather that *is* summer in the Pacific Northwest, and hope you are as well.

We were thinking (uh oh!) about having the right and the responsibility to consider consent.  Unitarian Universalists say that we all have the right and responsibility to develop an understanding of religion/spirituality/higher power/whatever works for us.  It’s the same with consent.

You have the right to define consent in a way that works for you.  You have the right to change any aspect of consent as you grow and learn.  Something that was good before may cause you some concern now.  You might want to shake things up a bit and try something new.  It’s your life - fuck with it!  

We’d suggest as well that you have the responsibility to make consent an integral part of all you do.  Think about what’s okay for you and what’s not.  You get to decide what feels right for you.  How cool is that?!

Remember the model for consent that we laid out, with the main columns of Capacity, Information, Agreement, and Autonomy? Consider how you might use the model to make consent an even more fun part of your life.

And, it’s always a good time to practice gratitude.  We’re grateful for partners, friends, colleagues, and the many communities in which we have the privilege to participate.  We’re grateful for the careful editing of our column that makes us sound so much better than we would otherwise.  We’re grateful to you, dear reader, as well.  We couldn’t do it without you.

Homework:  Ask someone for their consent.  How do you feel?  What’s their response?  Notice when and how consent is requested and granted by people at a market or at an event.  Take a moment to stop and appreciate the consent around you.  

We’re grateful (in advance) for your fan mail at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel 

Consent Corner 1.24

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello lovely readers!  Can you believe that life seems to be heading to some variation of normal?  We’ve been enjoying hugs (and more!) that were deferred in the interest of good health.  Of course, we’re all the gatekeepers of what’s appropriate for our own health and safety.

In the prior newsletter we posed a question:  how do you know when it’s time to acknowledge a consent issue?  Remember that we’re not talking about clear steps over the line:  something done that was expressly banned, or not honoring safewords (prearranged signals to pause or stop activities).  We’re talking about when you have feelings that seem uncomfortable and you’re not clear on how to interpret them.  You know that something’s not quite right, but you don’t know what it is.  And, we’ve talked before about how unexpected feelings can come up in consensual activities.  

The good news is that we have an answer to that question.  Yay!  Our answer is that only you can make the call about what those nagging feelings represent.  You can bring in a friend or trusted advisor to get clarity.  You can meditate or take a walk if that helps.  You can Google it - we’re big fans of whatever works.

The better news is that the answer is simple, but admittedly not always easy.  Our advice is to make friends with those feelings, and gently inquire about what they’re trying to tell you.  Give those feelings a hug (if they’re huggable) and thank them for their service.  They’re showing up to help you.  They might be alerting you to something that needs a discussion with others.  They might be asking you to resolve an issue for yourself.  You’ll find the wisdom and strength to do what’s next for you.

Homework:  No homework!  Please let your sexy self enjoy this beautiful summer weather.

Please share your joy with us at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

Volunteer Position: Discord Server Moderator

The Center for Sex Positive Culture welcomes everyone and encourages our members who identify as BIPOC or LGBTQ/SGL to apply for this volunteer position.

Summary/Overview:

Moderate the Center for Sex Positive Culture (CSPC) Discord server on a regular, preferably daily, basis. This position works closely with the server Caretaker and reports to the Communications Director.

Responsibilities:

• Check out what’s happening on the server on either a daily basis or an agreed upon schedule

• Report any unusual, inflammatory, or discriminatory chats or activity

• Take appropriate action when members break server rules

• Answer or refer questions asked by members

• Engage with other members on the server, as you are comfortable

• Help make the server a fun, frisky, and inclusive place to hang out

• Suggest improvements and new possibilities

Qualifications:

• Member of the CSPC

• Completed a Volunteer Orientation (can be arranged before start date)

• Ability to objectively assess conflicts and draw evidence-based conclusions

• Acceptable social and conflict resolution skills

• Regular Discord user

• Willing to engage with others on Discord

• Comfortable having a Discord account associated with the CSPC server

Contact:

• Email volunteerliaison@thecspc.org to apply for this volunteer position.

The Center for Sex Positive Culture creates spaces to celebrate, develop, and explore sexuality and sensuality among a diverse, supportive community.

Consent Corner 1.23

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy, sassy readers!  We hope Pride was everything you hoped for and more.  

We’re very excited as we plan to bring you another version of Consent Corner in upcoming newsletters.  Be on the lookout for Version 2.0 and forward as your favorite corner transforms.  It’s kind of like Doctor Who, who changes into a different physical presence over his (or now her) life.  It’s a Time Lord thing - look it up if you’re unfamiliar with its intricacies.

We’d like to pose a question:  how do you know when it’s time to acknowledge a consent issue?  We’re not talking about clear steps over the line:  something done that was expressly banned or not honoring safewords (prearranged signals to pause or stop activities).  We’re talking about when you have feelings that seem uncomfortable and you’re not clear on how to interpret them.  You know that something’s not quite right, but you don’t know what it is.  

We’ve talked before about how unexpected feelings can come up in consensual activities.  You can get triggered into feeling scared or anxious.  Something might come up for you that you thought had been resolved.  And, there it is, right in front of you, shifting the experience from what you’d expected or consented to into something different.  It’s kind of like in Doctor Who, when the T.A.R.D.I.S. takes him or her and companion(s) to a different planet or time.  They’re experiencing an important event in Earth history, and then they’re in the future on another planet.  You might say, “Wait, how did I get here?”  

Stay tuned as we explore this idea of exploring our feelings.  In the meantime, there’s homework!

Homework:  Think about times in your experiences when you weren’t sure how to handle a consent issue, or if a consent issue actually represented a violation.  If you’re anything like us, you’ve got an ample supply.  

Extra Credit:  check out Gavin de Becker and his book “The Gift of Fear.”  Spoiler:  The gift is that sense you have that something’s not quite right.

Extra Extra Credit:  If you’re a fan of sci-fi, British TV, or if you’re just curious, look up Doctor Who.  We think you’ll be glad you did.  

You’ll be glad to give us praise at:  info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel

SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME...

by Teeebone

Have you ever wondered what the weekly event schedules were like back in the day when the CSPC was at Interbay? I dug up three examples to give you an idea of the length and breadth as well as the sheer enormity of just how much the Center had to offer. I often look back and wonder (as long-term volunteer) how I managed to survive such a crazy, busy time in my life. :3

First, here’s a weekly schedule from 2004. I had been a member for little over a year and the Center was often referred to as the “Wet Spot,” though back then its official name was the Sex Positive Community Center or SPCC. It consisted of only the Main Space in those days, and on-site parties/events typically happened 3-4 times a week.

MONDAY, July 5, 2004

Dom/Me Discussion Group..................... 7:30 PM to  9:00 PM

TUESDAY, July 6, 2004

Gor Discussion Group........................ 7:00 PM to  9:00 PM

WEDNESDAY, July 7, 2004

Drop-In Wednesday..................[MR/AG].. 4:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Pacific NW Sex Educators Forum

(OFFSITE at a home in Ballard).............. 7:30 PM to  9:00 PM

Red Hot Words and More.............[MR/AG].. 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM

THURSDAY, July 8, 2004

The Grind..........................[MR]..... 9:00 PM to  1:00 AM

FRIDAY, July 9, 2004

Polycamp

(see below for event description)

(OFFSITE at The Longhouse)

(Friday afternoon to Monday Noon)...........TIME INFO BELOW

Intro to Sex-Positive Culture............... 8:00 PM

Erotic City:

Iron Chef Live Sushi Night

(see below for event description)..[MR]..... 9:00 PM to  2:00 AM

SATURDAY, July 10, 2004

Polycamp

(see below for event description)

(OFFSITE at The Longhouse)

(Friday afternoon to Monday Noon)...........TIME INFO AT LEFT

Whip Enthusiasts Group...................... Noon    to  3:00 PM

Poly Potluck at Polycamp

(see below for event description)

(OFFSITE at The Longhouse).................. 5:00 PM to  8:00 PM

Poly Potluck................................ 5:00 PM to  8:00 PM

Pansexual BDSM Social..............[MR]..... 8:00 PM to  9:00 PM

Pansexual BDSM Night...............[MR]..... 9:00 PM to  3:00 AM

SUNDAY, July 11, 2004

Polycamp

(see below for event description)

(OFFSITE at The Longhouse)

(Friday afternoon to Monday Noon)...........TIME INFO AT LEFT

Kinky Brunch

(OFFSITE at Guppy's)........................11:00 AM to  2:00 PM

Massage Night

(doors close at 7:00 PM)...........[MR]..... 6:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Next up we have a schedule from 2009. At this point the SPCC had become the CSPC, and we had acquired the Annex, which allowed us to have 2 parties/events going on the same night. Accordingly, this greatly expanded our schedule list.

MONDAY, June 8, 2009

Kinky Crafters munch (in the Annex) 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Big Committee Meeting (in the Annex) 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM

Monday Madness! 7:00 PM to 12:00 AM

TUESDAY, June 9, 2009

Daytime Playtime 11:00 AM to 5:00 PM

Drop-In Tuesday (in the Annex) 4:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Owners & Slaves Discussion 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Volunteer Training Sessions 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

WEDNESDAY, June 10, 2009

Life Drawing (in the Annex) 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

The Hump--Booty-licious Butt music 8:00 PM to 12:00 AM

THURSDAY, June 11, 2009

FetLife Mid-Day Munch 2:00 PM to 6:00 PM

Thursday New Member Orientation 7:00 PM to 8:00 PM

Grind -- Party and Dance 9:00 PM to 1:00 AM

The Chill - In the Annex 9:00 PM to 1:00 AM

FRIDAY, June 12, 2009

New Member Orientation: Intro to Sex-Positive Culture 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM

Tie me up, Take me down... 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM

Partner's Party -- in the Annex 9:00 PM to 2:00 AM

SATURDAY, June 13, 2009

Whip Enthusiasts Group 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM

Gor Discussion Group 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM

Saturday New Member Orientation 6:30 PM to 7:30 PM

Pansexual BDSM Social 8:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Pansexual BDSM Experience: Whips, Mayhem & Metal 9:00 PM to 3:00 AM

Caribbean Groove presents "It’s Time for a Sacrifice!" 9:00 PM to 3:00 AM

SUNDAY, June 14, 2009

Sunday Morning Yoga 10:30 AM to 11:30 AM

Fem Domme Tea 12:00 PM to 5:00 PM

Volunteer Appreciation 10th Anniversary BBQ 2:00 PM to 8:00 PM

No Safeword Writers' Group (Sun) 1:00 PM to 3:00 PM

Massage Night  5:00 PM to 9:00 PM

And finally, we have a schedule from 2015. At this point, the CSPC had acquired the Raw Space, which greatly expanded the play space for events held in either the Main Space or the Annex. Also of note is that the Grind had switched from a weekly to a monthly party in the schedule, which allowed a bunch of other new events/parties to step into the available Thursday night slots.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Hump Social: 6:00pm - 8:00pm, Main Space

The Hump: 8:00pm - 12:00am, Main Space

Whump at the Hump!: 8:00pm - 12:00am, Raw Space

Thursday, July 2, 2015

New Member Orientation: 6:30pm-8pm, Main Space

Frolic on 15th (age limited): 9:00pm - 1:00am

The Chill: 9:00pm - 1:00am, Annex & Raw Space

Friday, July 3, 2015

Passport Meeting: 7:00pm - 8:00pm, Main Space

Asylum: 8:00pm - 2:00am, Annex

On the Market & After Party: 8pm - 2am, Main Space

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Morning Wood: 10:00am - 3:00pm, Main Space

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Bondage is the Point: 7pm - 12am, Main Space  

Monday, July 6, 2015

Monday Madness: 7:00pm - 12:00am, Main Space

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Daytime Playtime: 12:00pm-4:00pm, Main Space

New Member Orientation: 5pm-6:30pm, Main Space

On Ramp: 7:00pm - 12:00am, Main Space

So, there you have it. Just a few examples of how the CSPC strived to have something for everybody in the community. :3