Celebrating Black History Month, Sex Positive Style

As long as there have been Black people there have been Black LGBTQ people. In honor of Black History month, we at the CSPC wanted to share some amazing POC who made history in the LGBTQ community as artists, activists, and leaders.

Did you know that Gladys Bentley (1907-1960) was Harlem’s most famous lesbian? Gladys was a gifted queer blues performer who preferred a tux to a dress during the Harlem Renaissance. 

Stormé DeLarverie (1920-2014) was a professed biracial butch lesbian born in the Deep South of New Orleans. She joined the Ringling Brothers Circus as a young teenager, performed as the only drag king at the first integrated drag revue in North America, and is rumored to have thrown the first punch at the Stonewall Uprising in 1969.

Ron Oden (1950-present) became the first openly gay mayor of Palm Springs in 2003. 17 years after Oden’s election, Palm Springs became the home of America’s first all-LGBTQ city council.

Phill Wilson (1956-present) was appointed by former President Obama's Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS in 2010. Wilson founded the Black AIDS Institute in 1999 after the death of his partner and his own HIV diagnosis. His work led to the "Act Against AIDS" campaign, which you may know as "Let's Stop HIV Together.”

And for all of our dance lovers, did you know that the Father of Vogue was Willi Ninja (1961-2006)? NInja's dance style was made most famous by Madonna's song “Vogue” in 1990. 

Alphonso David (1970-present) is a lawyer and Human rights activist. He served as an attorney at Lambda Legal and was the first openly gay counsel for New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

Stay tuned for more tantalizing tidbits about Black sex positive pioneers throughout the month on the CSPC website and social media channels!

Consent Corner 2.7

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello stupendously sassy readers!  We’re glad you’re here with us as we explore the fascinating world of consent.

We’ve been talking about boundaries.  If you’re new to the CSPC and the newsletter, welcome!  You can review any of our other discussions in previous newsletters.  It’s not required reading, but it may answer some of your questions.

Any discussion of boundaries will necessarily involve a discussion of agreements.  And, as it happens, the concept of Agreements is one of the main pillars in the consent structure you’re building.  We’ll consider the topic here and in upcoming columns, so stay tuned! 

We’re big fans of using the term agreements rather than rules.  After all, rules are made to be broken, right?  And who are “they” to tell me what to do?  Do these questions remind you of thoughts that may have passed through your mind at any time?  We thought so.

When we make an agreement, however, we acknowledge that we’re going to hold ourselves accountable for abiding by it.  We’re giving our consent to the interaction as we’ve defined it of our own free will.  Who would ever say that agreements are made to be broken?  Probably not people you’d want to trust with your personal well-being. 

In all of your relationships you have the right - and the responsibility - to create agreements with your partners.  Here are some questions to ponder when considering consent agreements.

What will happen when you’re together?  How long will you be together?  What kind of contact will there be?  Will any implements be used?  (For those of us who enjoy impact play, the word “implements” gets us a little hot and bothered.  Moving on… ).  How will you know when you’re done?  

How will you communicate with each other - before, during, and after the interaction?  You’ll want to determine the safeword vocabulary you’ll use in your time together, which would ideally include both verbal and nonverbal signals.  You might also want to be in touch one or two days afterwards to make sure everyone’s okay.

What must not happen when you’re together?  These are the activities for which you do not give your consent, and they’re sometimes called “hard limits.”  It seems sensible to say that anything that threatens your life ought to be off-limits.  But what about things that might jeopardize your health, or your job, or your relations with others?  You have the right to specify what’s not acceptable for you 

Here’s a tip that might help:  try having the person listening summarize what they just heard.  For example, the listener might say “I heard you say that we’re going to cuddle, which could include kissing and hugging, and that clothing will remain on.”  The speaker can then confirm or correct the summary until there’s agreement and understanding.  

Small but important aside:  please think long and hard about the implications of having someone fail to honor one of your agreements.  Please include a trusted friend in your deliberations.  A breach of trust might indicate abuse, and that’s not okay.  

Homework:  Think about the agreements you’ve made with your partner(s) and talk to them about it.  Then, do some of the fun things you’ve been talking about!  

Questions about agreements?  We’re at info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel 

Paddlepalooza: The Gift that Keeps on Giving!

The paddle submission season is winding down, and the online silent charity auction is coming on February 1-5th! All paddles will be sold to the highest bidder, with the proceeds going to support the CSPC. The artists who designed the top three highest-bid items will also receive a prize.

The paddle gallery continues to grow as our gifted artists submit their wares. Join us for all the fun, support our artists and the CSPC community, and surprise your sweetie (or treat yourself!) to a fabulous new toy for Valentine’s Day!

Stay tuned to the Paddlepalooza page for more auction details!

Leadership Spotlight: Mina

This is the sixteenth of our spotlights on community members who volunteer with the CSPC in leadership positions. In this issue, we’ve asked some questions to get a deep and personal look at our new Captain of the Setup/Strike Team, Mina.

  • Name and/or scene name:

    • Mina 

  • Pronouns:

    • She/Her

  • How do you identify (this can include gender, sexual orientation, kink or BDSM roles, etc.)?

    • Cisgender Female - Bottom

  • How long have you been with the CSPC?

    • Less than a year.

  • What brought you here and what are your main areas of interest?

    • As a new resident to WA, I wanted to challenge myself to create a social circle that didn’t involve co-workers. I was fortunate to stumble across CSPC on Fetlife and the rest was history! Not only am I able to socialize, I’m given the opportunity of sexual exploration and discovery. 

  • CSPC e-mail address, title/role, reasons for contact/areas you cover:

    • Captain Setup/Strike Team, setupstrikecaptain@thecspc.org. Keeping things in order and ensuring that things run as smoothly as possible for an event brings me Zen. I'm looking to establish contact with Hosts/Champions/ECs for La Queer, Fresh Meet, Power Play Mix Tape, Femme Dominion, Myself!, and any other in-person events that are currently being hosted at the Gallery. I'm open to any advice or tips!

  • What was your path to your current position?

    • After a few setup/strike shifts, my natural curiosity for organization came butting out and Skitty caught a whiff of it. Now, here I am! 

  • Which CSPC event is your favorite and why? 

    • Currently, my favorite in-person event is Myself! so that I may indulge in my voyeurism kink. The blatant invitation to watch sexual activity in public with no inhibitions or reprecussions is titillating. I hope to attend a Power Play Mix Tape event in the future.

  • Career or day job (industry, position, or whatever you're comfortable sharing):

    • Patient Care Coordinator with a local clinic.

  • What do you like to do in your free time?

    • I am a homebody who loves to read a variety of romance novels as well as indulge in some quality streaming time. Pre-Covid, I enjoyed playing board games and card games with friends.

  • Living situation (partners, roommates, pets, plants):

    • I’ve found it to be more financially sound to be a part of a house sharing situation. So technically I have roommates, but we’re all in our own little world so much that we’re practically strangers. It feels like living alone until a common area snafu happens. 

  • Something no one would ever guess about you or a fun fact:

    • I’ve recently started a hoodie collection a couple months ago. It’s my goal to collect hoodies that have designs that show off some kind of quirky knowledge about myself or commemorate a traveling opportunity.

  • Turn-ons and/or squicks: 

    • Turn-On: Open communication, open affection, and sexual confidence. 

    • Squicks: Emotional manipulation and pauciloquents.

  • Hopes and concerns for the CSPC and/or the greater sex positive community:

    • My hope for CSPC is a space that we can call our own. I’m excited to expand the types of parties and scenes that we can have!

  • Advice for a new member or volunteer: 

    • Dive in with both feet! If you’re shy like me when it comes to socializing, then volunteering can give you a purpose to focus on while meeting new people..

  • How can we build up each other? How can we be here for one another?

    • I think CSPC does an amazing job at being present for their members. I look forward to the day when we are able to host in-person munches again. 

  • Anything else we should know?

    • I’m an open book. There’s no such thing as TMI or a dumb question. 

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Community Matters: Covid-Related Updates

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The in-person Fresh Meet event on 1/21 has been cancelled, and the Myself! Party is the only in-person event scheduled in February. The CSPC is committed to safe, consensual experiences for both event attendees and volunteers. The current levels of illness (Covid and otherwise) in our community have put tremendous pressure on our healthcare workers and systems, and have made staffing for our in-person events impossible to predict and fill. We anticipate going back to multiple in-person events per month beginning in March, as levels will hopefully reduce and there will be correspondingly less pressure on healthcare resources.

As a reminder, all CSPC events require full vaccination for all attendees and volunteers, and we require masks to be worn at all times except when it is necessary to remove them. Some examples of necessary times are eating, drinking, or using your mouth in a scene. We strongly recommend N95 or KN95 masks be used at this time. We have a limited supply available for use by volunteers and members. While rapid testing is not a substitute for vaccination as a requirement to attend in-person parties, you may consider rapid testing prior to attendance as another measure you can take to help prevent Covid spread in our community. Free rapid tests are now available for order at https://www.covidtests.gov.

Additionally, the Board has established temporary guidelines for eating and drinking at in-person events in order to minimize unmasked exposure. Hydration and nutrition needs will continue to be prioritized, especially during aftercare, but sipping and nibbling throughout the party will be discouraged. While this measure is in effect, canned drinks and pre-packaged snacks will be available at reception. We ask that, if possible, you take these outside. If they are needed for aftercare, they may be taken back into the playspace. Water will continue to be available at the water dispenser, and members may bring their own snacks as needed for personal health and comfort.

Yakity-Yak! Come Talk Back!

By Eirikah Delaunay


The CSPC’s online discussion groups help us maintain our community connections and indulge in kinkalicious conversations from the comfort of home! The CSPC’s Online Rules & Agreements help ensure that our online events are safe, comfortable, and confidential for all participants. 

Access to all discussion groups is included with your CSPC membership, with the option of offering a donation to help strengthen our community and provide greater access for our low-income members when you register for the event. Beginning in February 2022, these online events will be ticketed at $5 each for non-members. Registration is required for all attendees.

The event listings below are for the next meeting of each discussion group. Find the dates for future months on the event calendar, and be sure to register to receive the Zoom link!

More Amore: a Consensual Nonmonogamy Discussion

Sunday, January 9th from 3:00 pm to 5:00 pm

Explore the practicalities and possibilities of consensual nonmonogamy.

Below the Slash: submissive Discussion Group 

Tuesday, January 11th from 7 pm to 9 pm

Come talk about your subby side with fellows!

S/switch Discussion Group 

Tuesday, January 18th from 7 pm to 8 pm

Come discuss switchy-ness with switches!

The Neurodivergent Discussion Group

Tuesday, January 25th from 7:00 to 9:00 pm

Discuss topics in a neurodivergent-friendly forum.

Power Dynamics Discussion Group 

Thursday, January 27th from 7:30 pm to 9:30 pm

Discuss authority transfer relationships!

The Queer Discussion Group

Tuesday, February 1st from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm

A discussion group for and by Queers!


More Ways to Talk It Up!

The CSPC is on social media! Please like and engage with us on Instagram, Facebook, FetLife, and Discord. The conversation is happening day and night.

You can also share your thoughts during the public comment time at the CSPC Virtual Board Meeting held the second Wednesday of every month. The next meeting is Wednesday, January 12th from 7 pm to 9 pm.


If you’re not a member yet, there couldn’t be a better time to join! New Member Orientation happens before most in-person parties and online at least twice a month (typically first Thursday evening and third Sunday afternoon). Check out the event calendar to register for the time that works best for you!

Paddlepalooza: Paddles on Parade!

We are proud to parade the pervalicious paddles donated for the impending Paddlepalooza promotion! The priority deadline of January 15 is approaching posthaste, but there’s still time to participate!

Here is our artist entry form. For a $25 donation to the CSPC, you will get a plain pinewood paddle to make pretty or perilous–or both! Present it back to our Paddlepalooza personnel by January 15th, and we will have plenty of time to put its picture (and any artist info/links you provide) in our portfolio. Late submissions will be accepted until January 31st for the auction, but the sooner your paddle is proffered, the more prolonged the period of provocation and passionate pursuit.

Our Paddlepalooza artist prizes are primed to please! The paddles that pull in the most pay at auction will procure for their producers:

1st Prize – a week’s stay in Hawaii*, with a panoramic view of the powerful Pacific!

2nd Prize -- $100 to put in your pocket!

3rd Prize – A free year of CSPC membership!

*No holidays and subject to availability; airfare not included.

Peruse the paddle parade (more pictures pending!), plan your purchase, and join the pack of artists plying their provocative productions. 

Consent Corner 2.6

by Emma Atkinson and Rachel Drake

Hello sexy readers, and happy 2022!  We’re so glad you’re here with us in the coolest community ever:  Sex-Positive Kids! (™)

C’mon, really?  Of course we’re sex positive.  Who would ever argue that sex should be negative??  Not us, that’s for sure.

How were your holidays?  If it’s true that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, then we’re officially wonder women at this point.  Moving on…

Did the advice we offered last time help you navigate some of your relationships?  These are definitely trying times and add in the holidays- yeesh.  Remember that each day gives you the opportunity to do something - anything, really - a little better than you did it yesterday.  We like to say that what’s “better” is what enhances your body, mind, and spirit.  Your mileage may vary.  

Some days are more challenging than others - as are some whole months and years.  Here’s a resolution for 2022 that we suggest:  practice more gratitude.  Somehow, gratitude seems to soften us, and life feels a little easier.  

Thank volunteers at CSPC parties - they’re making all that fun you’re having possible.  Thank members of the CSPC online groups you attend - they’re giving you support, encouragement, and useful information to help you on your life’s journey.  Thank the people who are active on the Discord server - Fleur and Connie and their minions are doing great work building a thriving community.  Thank people you meet at munches for helping you meet wonderful people like them at munches.  Thank the Board for helping make stuff happen.  The CSPC is you and it’s us.  Members are doing everything for us - other members.  

It’s a funny thing - gratitude seems to be a win-win-win approach to just about any situation. The recipient feels good, you feel good, and life looks a little bit brighter.  And, do you know what makes life even brighter?  Volunteering.  Be the change you want to see in your world.  And meet great kinky people while you’re doing it!  

A friend of ours wrote a song called “It’s Hard to be Mad When You’re Singing.”  It’s true - you can sing and be mad, but it’s hard to do both at the same time.  We suggest that it’s hard to be mad when you’re grateful.  

Homework:  What if you expressed your gratitude 5% more than usual this month?  What could happen?  Please find out.

Would you like to share a discovery - Earth shattering or otherwise?  We’re at info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other” - Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other” - Emma and Rachel 

Community Matters

By Kelly McAllister

Why does the CSPC community matter to me, you ask?

Simply put, this community changed my life.

My community affords me the acceptance and space to live more authentically and to accept myself more readily. I strive to live without pretense in every realm of my life and in many ways, this is easy. Both my self concept and esteem are pretty solid and I know that folks see me through the lens of their perception (thanks to don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements).

However, I had a hard time not judging myself for the things I like, and honestly have liked as far back as my adolescence. Finding the community at the CSPC allowed me to see that not only am I not alone in my kinky predilections, but some of the people who like the same things I do are truly amazing human beings. 

I really don't have many vanilla friends now and those who are, aren't judgemental. This shift allowed me to be more authentic, more of the time. I don't have to separate my sexual life from the other aspects of myself, so it simply integrated, rather than feeling like an isolated part of me. While my sex/kink life is certainly a large part of me, it no longer feels so separate - so siloed. I am simply me, which feels beautiful.

Thank you to everyone in this community with whom I've crossed paths, either for a moment or continuously for years.

_______________________________________

Kelly sits on the CSPC’s working Board of Directors and serves as our HR Director. She welcomes conversations with damn near everyone, and is hard at work recruiting members/volunteers and helping those new to kink develop ways to explore their sexuality safely. She can be reached at kelly@thecspc.org.

Join our community today! Register for New Member Orientation or renew your membership on our Membership page.

Already a member, but want stronger connections through more involvement with the CSPC community? Join our team of volunteers! Both party and non-party volunteer roles are open now.