Consent Corner 23.6

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello lovely readers! It must be spring — robins seem to be everywhere, don’t they?  

Planned Parenthood developed the FRIES model of good consent that we’ve been pondering in recent editions of this amazing newsletter. It’s time to consider the final letter in the acronym, and that’s the letter S, and that stands for school, which rhymes with pool, and that’s big trouble! Oops, sorry for the inexplicable reference to The Music Man. Our S actually stands for Specific, which makes way more sense.  

Good consent is specific. All participants agree that x, y, and z will happen. As long as x, y, and z occur, all participants will likely have a wonderful experience. If at any point v happens, you’d be well advised to pause activities and get more information. Assuming good intentions, there’s lots of valid reasons that activity v could be brought into play. Who hasn’t been swept away in the heat of a moment to do things one later regrets? An ounce of conversation is so much better than a pound of regrets. Or, maybe it’s just me.  

Homework: please remember FRIES when embarking on consent conversations. And share your thoughts and experiences with us at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

More Than Kinky Parties

Don’t forget our monthly online discussion groups!

CSPC is so much more than just live parties. We have many online forums to connect, question, and discover. Not seeing what you want to talk about? Contact us at EventsDirector@thecspc.org and help us form a discussion group that is important to you!

All discussion groups run for one to two hours, and are FREE for members. Simply register within the membership portal. 

Below the Slash: submissive Discussion Group

When: second Tuesday

Time: 7 p.m.

What: Come talk about your subby side!

BIPOC Discussion Group

When: first Thursday

Time: 7 p.m.

What: A space for BIPOC folks across the kink, gender, sexuality, and neurodiversity spectrums!

Community Munch

When: second Thursday

Time: 8 p.m.

What: Connect and explore with others in the community while maintaining a safe distance. Tell a story, show and tell, ask questions!

Finding Your Way

When: second Monday

Time: 7 p.m.

What: Come talk over your experiences and find your path in the CSPC community!

More Amore: A Consensual Nonmonogamy Discussion

When: second Sunday

Time: 3 p.m.

What: Explore the practicalities and possibilities of consensual nonmonogamy with members of the community. Ask questions, share experiences, find resources, and develop new friendships.

Neurodivergent Discussion Group

When: first Sunday and fourth Tuesday

Time: 5 p.m. (Sunday) and 7 p.m. (Tuesday)

What: Using communication styles unique to the neurodivergent population, we’ll explore the world of kink in a comfortable and inclusive environment.

The Queer Discussion Group

When: first Tuesday

Time: 8 p.m.

What: A discussion group for and by Queers!

S/switch Discussion Group

When: third Tuesday

Time: 7 p.m.

What: Come talk about your S/switch-y side with fellow switches!

Wicked Wordplay

When: fourth Wednesday

What: Co-write erotica and read it aloud–or just come to listen and enjoy the hotness!

The Frolic is Back in 2023!

early bird tickets now on sale!

Click the link above to purchase!

What: The Frolic 2023

Where: Buckley, WA

When: August 15–20, 2023

Who: All humans 18+ welcome. You do not have to be a CSPC Member to attend.

Cost: see below for price structure*

*Tickets must be purchased online, there are no door sales. Please note: ticket sales for the Frolic are final; they are not refundable or transferable to other events.*

THE FROLIC 2023 IS BACK - bigger, better, and EPIC at our own private Field of Dreams in Buckley!

This year’s theme is Forge Your Fate - Choose Your Adventures! 

The Frolic is located on a 40-acre private property in Buckley, WA. The gates open Tuesday, August 15 at 10 a.m. and close Sunday, August 20 at 4 p.m.

Your ticket includes entertainment, many education classes including a featured presenter, skill shares, activities, a flea market/swap meet for campers, a place to camp, play equipment, access to fire pits, a community hot tub, meals, and more! The fee covers food, utilities, property and equipment upkeep, porta potty rentals, and all the minutiae involved in planning an event like this, as well as ongoing expenses keeping the CSPC open and kinky for all our members. Your ticket does not include: a shelter*, guaranteed play partners, or parking. (*Although a large meeting tent will have some non-private dorm space for those without tents. Email frolic@thecspc.org to let us know you need a space.)

Masking is optional and distancing is up to individuals, but we invite you to discuss safety protocols and comfort before approaching someone closely.

Please keep an eye on this space for more information as it becomes available!

All humans 18+ welcome. You do not have to be a CSPC Member to attend.

The address, rules, and other information to participate will be emailed to you shortly after you register. Please check your email’s spam and/or promotions folders if you don’t see it in your inbox. If you haven't received it within an hour of registering, contact us at registration@theCSPC.org.

TICKETS

Tickets go on sale April 10, 2023. 

The next tier goes on sale immediately after the previous one sells out. 

$250 per person Early Bird tickets for the first 30 people

$275 per person Second Tier tickets for the next 30 people

$300 per person Third Tier tickets until we are sold out

*There is limited free ticketing for volunteers working the entire event. You must obtain a registration code from your Lead.

ADDITIONAL FEES

$50 additional for an RV (hook-ups are not available)

$50 additional for a tent trailer (includes a parking pass for the vehicle towing the trailer)

$25 Parking Pass - Parking is limited and must be prepurchased. Your parking pass will be available at registration when you check in. 

$10 for a round-trip ride from the Sumner Sounder Station

ENTERTAINMENT AND EDUCATION

We’ve got tons to learn and do planned throughout the week! Presenters will be unveiled at the beginning of May. Stay tuned for more information!

COMMUNITY SERVICE

We are a community. We are people coming together to create something wonderful. To reflect that and to make sure what needs done gets done, we are asking everyone who comes to The Frolic to contribute to the running of the event. We do this through community service. We ask that everyone participate in one volunteer shift of about 2–3 hours during their time at The Frolic. When you register, you will be asked to prioritize the type of service you would prefer. We will be making a schedule that will be emailed out and posted at the event. We are glad you are part of the community and for all the special nuances you bring to our celebration. frolicvolunteers@thecspc.org

MEALS

We will provide a continental breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day. We will also have a hospitality area with snacks and drinks, but it is best to bring any additional meals or snacks you feel like you will want. Dietary restrictions will be accommodated. Please indicate your needs when purchasing your tickets, and feel free to email us at frolicmeals@thecspc.org.

VIP ROOMS

We have four yurts to auction! Imagine spending this Frolic warm and cozy inside at night with your plus-one in a beautifully decorated Mongolian yurt with a queen-size bed. Bidding begins at $200, but we fully expect this to go higher! These rooms normally rent for $150/night online and you get it for six days and five nights! Please keep in mind that your ticket to The Frolic is not included and must be purchased separately. Bidding is for the add-on VIP room only.

Auction Dates:

Yurt 1 (Heart Yurt) - Auction starts April 10 and ends May 1 (see images of the Heart Yurt below!)

Yurt 2 - Auction starts May 2 and ends May 23

Yurt 3 - Auction starts May 24 and ends June 14

Yurt 4 - Auction starts June 15 and ends July 7

Contacts

General Frolic@thecspc.org 

Education froliceducation@thecspc.org 

Entertainment frolicentertainment@thecspc.org

Security frolicsecurity@thecspc.org 

Volunteers frolicvolunteers@thecspc.org 

Meals frolicmeals@thecspc.org 

Parties from the Past: Rough-N-Tumble

By Teeebone

In this next series, I'd like to talk about the other parties from the CSPC's past, back in the days of Interbay. One party that stands out is one called Rough N' Tumble or RnT for short. This event was first conceived on FetLife, of all places. The champion posted a thread there on July 29, 2009 to get the ball rolling. And roll it did.

Interest was generated, and an in-person meeting was put together at the Free Tuesday Social that was held at the Center in early August. After that, the pitch for the party was made at the Big Committee Meeting later that month, where it got a tentative green light. At that time, the party had the working title "Tuesday Night Fights" with the focus being on takedowns, wrestling, boxing, sparring, and other contact sports. The core crew started gathering the necessary gear to make things happen: Boxing gloves, headgear with face protectors, chest protectors, karate gloves, footgear, assorted padded weapons, and rubber training knives, to name a few.

However, there was one problem. The Center did not have any mats, which would be required in order for this event to be more safely held. The estimated cost was $2,000. The CSPC provided the funding for this purchase, which was also supplemented by the Naked Women's Oil Wrestling fundraiser.

Another issue that came up was when the director asked that the name of the event not have the word "Fight" in it . . . And "We've got to figure out a way to describe it that involves sex or sexuality. That keeps it within our mission statement and won't (I hope) draw the attention of the state regarding fighting." After some discussion, it was decided that "The Tuesday Rough-N-Tumble" would be the name of the party.

And so, on November 17, 2009, the first Tuesday Rough-N-Tumble happened. Here's a quick review from an attendee: "Forty-plus people came to the party, which I thought was great for a first-time party. We had boxing, kickboxing, grappling, wrestling, pillow fights (which were adorable), and boffer fighting. Everyone was responsible and the party went extremely smooth for a first event. There was some instruction by an MMA practitioner on grappling and jiu-jitsu techniques. A Judo practitioner did some instruction and demonstrations on various throws. Some of the hottest action I saw was when they were teaching a new person (visiting from out of state) some moves and then of course a bit of wrestling for fun too . . ."

But in spite of an excellent opening night, the party was put on hold, due to some things that became apparent to the director afterward: "There are several logistic issues that need to be addressed before we can put this party on again. One deciding factor was that there were too many people in attendance for the space and we may have to move it to a different night or just a once-a-month event when we can use the RAW/Annex or the RAW/mainspace." Luckily, the wait was a short one. It was decided that the party would be scheduled for the fourth Monday of the month, in the Annex/RAW Dungeon and simply named "Rough-N-Tumble." On December 28, 2009, the party started all over again.

In August of 2010, the founder of RnT stepped down as host and chose a successor who would carry the party legacy. And carry on it did. So much so that in January of 2012, an additional RnT event called "The Dojo" was created, which focused on instruction and demos of fighting techniques, and it was scheduled on the second Monday of the month.

Both events ran until the Center closed at the Interbay location in 2016. The last Dojo was on August 8 and featured "The Art and Science of the Pillow Fight," while the last RnT was held on August 22 and featured an American Gladiators theme, complete with a photo shoot area for publicity, promotion, and posterity and a generous potluck dinner!

Rough-N-Tumble was an excellent party and remains a good example of consistent quality delivered to the community on a steady, reliable basis. Rumors abound that this event has even been rebooted yet again and is now being hosted at a different venue . . .

Consent Corner 23.5

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello again, you sexy thing! Can you believe it’s already April? Isn’t it the month that comes in like a lemur and goes out like an aphid? March has its animals (lion and lamb) and other months ought to have some too. Right?

Enough of the foreplay, let’s talk about consent! We’re exploring the Planned Parenthood model for good consent: FRIES. We’re up to the letter E, and you know what that means. You’re right, it stands for Enthusiastic! In good consent situations, all participants are super excited about what’s about to go down. Oops, I meant to say “super excited!!” Once you get started using exclamation points, it’s hard to stop!  Or, maybe it’s just me!

Any hint of hesitation among participants during consent conversations ought to be considered a good time to get more information. Plus, don’t you love it when you can put aside worries for a while and focus on the present moment? Worries might include: Did I lock the car door? What are my kids doing? Fill in your own worry here.

Interactions in which everyone’s excited to be there and knows that good times are ahead are super hot. Who doesn’t want to be part of that? You can make it happen by recalling that letter E when you’re in the middle of consent conversations. Oops, I mean “you can make it happen!!!” It couldn’t hurt to remember the other four letters in the FRIES model, too. Just saying. Enthusiasm probably = fun times. 

Homework: Does Enthusiasm actually = fun times? Check it out and let us know at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Flowers' Garden: Overcoming Intimidation

By Flowers

CSPC parties can be a fantastic opportunity to explore your sexual desires and connect with like-minded individuals. However, for many people, the prospect of playing with someone who is physically attractive or intimidating can be daunting. You can get lost in the idea of, “Oh my gosh this person is so attractive, how do I deal with this anxiety?” Well, I am here to help! 

Here are some tips to help you overcome your intimidation and play with someone you find attractive at a kink party:

1: Focus on your desires. Remember that you are at the party to explore your kinks and desires. Don't let the presence of an attractive person distract you from your goals. Focus on what you want to experience, and seek out partners who can help fulfill those desires.

2: Practice self-care. It's natural to feel nervous or anxious when playing with someone you find attractive, but it's important to take care of yourself. Take breaks if you need them, communicate your needs to your partner, and prioritize your own safety and comfort.

3: Remember, they are just people. My biggest tip is to remember that everyone at parties is just a human. The CSPC doesn’t pull them out from behind the bar as a master of sexiness. They eat dinner, they have dreams and aspirations, and they also have people they find cute and intimidating. 

In conclusion, don't let the presence of attractive people at a kink party intimidate you. Focus on your own desires, communicate clearly, prioritize consent, and practice self-care. With these tips in mind, you can have a fulfilling and enjoyable kink scene with anyone, regardless of their physical appearance.

What Does Sex Positivity Mean to You?

Sex positivity can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. As a sex positive community, there can be many different beliefs and ideas on what sex positivity looks like. This is why we posed this question to our wonderful community on Instagram, which you can follow @the.cspc. 

Here are some of the amazing responses!

“Having the kind of sex you want to have, not the kind you don’t.”

“Hearing about how other people organize their sex lives and having nothing but joy for them.”

“Exploring ‘sex’ through sensuality (I am an asexual/Demi) kink dynamics really help.” 

“No judgment for kinks, or anyone’s past or present situation.”

“Being open and honest with yourself about what you want for your sex life.”

“Being able to make risk-aware choices for your sexual pleasure without stigma or concern.”

Thank you all for your incredible and honest responses, and thank you for being such a wonderful community!

I Choose My Adventures! How Group Camping as an Adult Changes Your Life

By Turtle

I close my eyes to open my mental scrapbook, reminiscing about all the varied and sundry camps I've attended over my lifetime. Initially, my dad is the oldest of five kids, all of us camping together as a family of ten at Lost Lake. I went on to 4-H Camp, Astronomy Club, my HS track team, Girl's State through the VFW program. I've even camped in the pig tack room at Grays Harbor County Fairgrounds and under the grandstands at the Puyallup State Fair. We think of camp as a place for kids in the summer.

As an adult, I discovered spiritual retreats, church camps, large outdoor activity camps, personal growth conferences in the woods, even one where no one spoke for four days. I worked at Camp Easter Seal too. (Now the slip-n-slide we had there was epic!) Camp Easter Seal was distinctly different from the Oregon Country Fair, which had greenish smoke drifting like fog through the grounds, LMAO.

Then, I joined the CSPC in 2010 and attended Paradise. In 2011, I volunteered. By 2012–2014, I was the entertainment lead for some 400 campers with a crew of ten. Sadly, Paradise was lost. 

Next, The Gathering was organized. I volunteered out there as well. LOL, I'm not sure I know how NOT to volunteer! In my family everyone helps with everything. It's what we do. Why am I sharing all this with you? Because many of my best memories happened at a camp. Ask me about being chased by a freshwater-lake shark some time.

I've learned an incredible amount about the world, about new topics, and I've expanded topics I'm familiar with. I've experienced deep personal growth, challenged my principles, met lifelong friends, and adopted new family members.

At The Frolic, you'll get the chance to experience both lighthearted moments and times when the world stands still. There are those late-night fireside talks that lead to deep-seated camaraderie and inside jokes. You'll build intimacy, trust, and bonds in ways you didn't know existed. 

Our community is unique in that we aren't just acquaintances who happen to know each other. We become an extended family that co-creates inclusive, non-judgmental experiences. We promote exploration and sexploration. Your journey of self discovery and confidence is endless.You'll stretch your cognitive and creative muscles and break out of stagnant routines. 

The Frolic allows you to expand your perspective. Create scenes you'd never consider. Maybe even enjoy new sensations. We have opportunities to experiment.

New people step up and exhibit leadership. We discover each other's hidden talents. By getting to truly know each other and set aside assumptions, we learn to respect each other. You will also see everyone just being human. Funny things happen. Laughter happens. Hugs and snuggles happen. Healing happens. People tap into their deeper purpose and learn to live their best life. They become more authentic to their hearts. 

Adult group camping is also the best type of self care. Being in nature is critical to our health, resting our brain matter.

Refilling our energy. Refocusing our priorities. 

All this and camp includes food, a place to camp, showers, rocking education, and awesome entertainment, plus play time with fantastic friends!

You won't want to go home.

Broaden Your Mind 4.6.23

Other Community Events to Enjoy!

The CSPC throws amazing parties and hosts many important discussions on various topics. But luckily, we live in a place where there are many more options to dive into sex-positive culture. The list below is just a sampling of some great events coming up in the next month.

April 7

Seattle Pups and Handlers: Meet and Sniff Social (free | in person)

Come be social during SEA-PAH's monthly Meet & Sniff!

https://seapah.com/public/schedule/events/48843-sea-pah-meet-sniff-social

April 9

Quink Social Club ($125+ | in person)

Quink social club is the premier all people of color kink event in Seattle and Portland.

https://www.pan-eros.org/event/quink-social-club-associated-event-2/?instance_id=5475

April 12

Sex Trivia  ($10–$20 | in person)

Bring your friends, grab a drink, and see how much you know about sex!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sex-trivia-optimism-brewing-tickets-586214261637

April 15

Sex-Positive World: Gender Affirming Intimacy  (free–$25 | online)

Let's discuss multiple ways to add more gender-affirming strategies for your own unique sexual practices, relationships, and self-perception.

https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/event-details/gender-affirming-intimacy

April 16

Sex-Positive World: The Pleasure Talk (free–$25 | online)

A talk for forming more safe and pleasurable connections. Online with sliding-scale ticket pricing.

https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/event-details/the-pleasure-talk-1-2

April 16

North End Makerspace: Be Gay, Make Stuff (free | in person)

A gathering for queer crafters!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/be-gay-make-stuff-tickets-512080124437

April 17

Bloom Community: CNM Social Club ($5–$15 | online)

CNM folks unite! CNM Social Club is a place for polyamorous, swinger, open, relationship anarchist, and other Consensually Non-Monogamous (and CNM-curious!) folks to hang out and build community.

https://bl.ooo/m/cnm-seattle-apr-newsletter?r=eirikahdelaunay597

April 20

Consent Academy: Consent Basics (free–$25 | online)

Join for a conversation about the basics of consent, so you can start to practice consent more in your daily life. 

https://www.strangertickets.com/events/132427999/consent-basics

April 21–23

Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) ($20+ | in person)

Erotic art of every genre—visual, literary, performance, experiential—at Seattle Center’s Exhibition Hall. Join us for a smokin’ hot time!

Tickets: https://www.seattleerotic.org/the-festival/tickets/

Volunteer: https://www.seattleerotic.org/sponsors/get-involved/volunteer/

April 22 (ongoing)

Consent Academy: Consent in Leadership Series ($300–$500 | online)

An opportunity for leaders to deepen their understanding of consent, power, trauma, and accountability, consisting of 8 workshops and one optional lab, each exploring the knowledge, skills, and practices anyone who finds themselves in a position of influence or authority needs in order to foster a consensual space.

https://www.strangertickets.com/events/133352027/consent-and-leadership-series

April 22

Consent Academy: Sexuality, Boundaries, and Consent for Families ($25–$45 | online)

A two-hour class to prepare adults to talk about sexuality, boundaries, and consent with their kids.

https://www.strangertickets.com/events/136139132/sexuality-boundaries-and-consent-for-families

April 30

Consent Academy: Consent, Neurodiversity, & Kink ($20–$30 | online)

This discussion-focused workshop is designed to help folks of all neurotypes better understand and communicate with their neurodivergent partners and play partners.

https://www.strangertickets.com/events/134208918/consent-neurodiversity-kink-18