Consent Corner 23.14

Emma Atkinson

Hello, my dear ones! Yeesh, is it really November? Fred Meyer seems bent on forcing me to recognize that the holiday season has begun. Non-PNW (Pacific Northwest) readers: Fred Meyer is a store that sells everything from organic salad to tires — so, pretty much everything, including so much holiday stuff.

Ready to talk consent? We’re considering Bumbershoot’s C.O.N.S.E.N.T model, and we’re up to the letter “O.” What’s the “O” for, you ask? Open communication is key. “Yes” can change. Clever you, aren’t you glad you asked?

We’re all about open communication here in Consent Corner. You’ve no doubt come to recognize how important it is in so many ways. You’ve seen how it can make your life better. Now, as appropriate, you can make it hot too!

We’ve talked a bit about hot communication here in the Corner. I’ll be pondering it, and I’d love to hear about your experiences. The hottest stories will be included in an upcoming episode, so send yours in now!

Especially as the holiday season approaches, it’s good to keep the idea of “Open Communication” in mind. Keeping “Good Boundaries” in mind as well probably wouldn’t hurt.

Homework: ask a partner what their favorite name is for their private parts and use that name at a suitable opportunity. How did it go? Share your hot and steamy communications at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Corner 23.13

By Emma Atkinson

Hello lovely readers! Kisses and hugs all around, and all of them consensual, of course. I'm back from traveling to France and double air kissing many French folx, as they do — so much magnificent art to see and so little time. Count me convinced that seeing art live and in person is several orders of magnitude greater than seeing reproductions.

Bumbershoot Festival at Seattle Center this year featured a poster with the word "consent" written down the left side and an explanation of what each letter represents in the land of consent. It was kind of awesome to see consent reminders as one experienced the many wonders of the festival. And, we're going to consider how each consent concept affects our lives and our experiences.

So, let's start with the letter C, which means to check yourself and your friends before you wreck someone's night. Isn't there a line in a song with the advice to check yourself before you wreck yourself? Thich Nhat Hahn suggests that one might have on one's wall the question, "Are you sure?" I'm thinking that it can't hurt to stop whatever one is up to, especially at highly emotional times, and take a good look around.

Have you ever been swept up in some hysteria of the moment only to think, in hindsight, how you might have made better choices? Who of us hasn't let our better judgment take a back seat to the lure of something or someone? As an added benefit, when you stop to look around, you have the chance to express your gratitude, as needed.

Homework: At some random time, check out yourself and your friends. What did you find? Let us know at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Advocacy Training for Volunteers

We are excited to announce a new training opportunity! As part of our ongoing work to update and expand our consent policy and practice, we have partnered with Consent Academy to create an exclusive Consent Advocacy workshop, just for CSPC volunteers!

This two-part, six-hour course will cover:

• The expectations and basics of the Consent Advocate role

• Communication and active listening skills

• Working with trauma and people caught in acute trauma reactions

• Consent-Focused Psychological First Aid

• Bystander intervention and de-escalation skills

• Supporting those involved in a consent incident

Yours to keep:

• Consent Advocate handout and presentation slides

This workshop is intended for those currently volunteering in one or more of the following capacities: Event Coordinator, Monitor, Event Host or Champion, Orientation Leader, DG Host, Tech Host, Team Captain, Discord Mod, Tasting Top, or Board Member. It is a requirement for volunteers who wish to become part of the upcoming Consent Advocate Team. Click here for more information on becoming a Consent Advocate.

This workshop is being offered at a reduced rate. For the same price as attending a CSPC event, ($25-35), this workshop offers information and skills applicable in everyday life, opens the door to enriching volunteer opportunities, and entitles you to add this Consent Academy training to your résumé. There will be a limited number of scholarships available.

Who: active volunteers (max. 35 participants)

What: six-hour workshop

When: Saturday November 11th and 18th, 1-4pm (this is a two-part workshop)

Where: online

Why: to be considered for the Consent Advocate Team and/or to expand your understanding and ability to create and maintain consent culture within our community

How: registration information coming soon

If you have questions or are unavailable on these dates, contact Skitty at HRdirector@thecspc.org. The next opportunity for this training will be in early 2024.

Consent Corner 23.12

By Emma Atkinson

Hello hot and lovely readers! Since it’s August, aren’t we finding ourselves learning about all the ways that “hot” can manifest?

I’m just back from The Frolic, and I feel like that character in the Dr. Seuss book whose heart grew several times bigger at some point. Google has informed me that this happened to the Grinch and that his heart tripled in size.  

That Grinch reference gave me pause for thought: WTF? Is my heart so small? One tries mightily to be careful not to “yuck” someone else’s “yum.” 

Local treasure and gifted writer Tom Robbins says: “There are only two mantras, yum and yuck.  Mine is yum.” That’s what The Frolic was: a long stretch of yum.  

Consent was in the air throughout. Folx were talking about it, wondering about it, and so beautifully practicing it.  

My heart is several times bigger at The Frolic’s end than it was at the start. It was super yummy and I’m grateful to all for all. Stay tuned for lots more consent goodness!  

Homework: a gold star to you if you would like one, for being the lovely human that you are.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

“There are only two mantras, yuck and yum. Mine is yum.” —Tom Robbins

“Me too.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.11

By Emma Atkinson 

Greetings, lovely readers! Hopefully you’ve given your consent to the many gifts of summertime.

Did you know that other people aren’t the same as you? It’s something that one can know intellectually, yet struggle with in everyday life. We can show our love and affection in different ways. Even those words “love” and “affection” can mean different things to different people at different times.

Let’s remember to celebrate our differences. Let’s appreciate each other for the wondrous beings that we are, just as we are. Let’s remember that we can always learn and grow and do better. Let’s do what we can to strengthen the community that we’re creating in all we do, alone and together.

Homework: heck no, it’s August! It’s the perfect time to share your thoughts with us at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Corner 23.10

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello darlings! Who's in favor of continuing to celebrate Pride through July? Okay, let's do it!

Today might be a good day to consider and express your gratitude. Actually, you could probably say that on any given day. To whom have you given your consent, and for what? 

Melody Beattie notes that gratitude "can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." For me, when I can change my thought of "I have to do this" into "I get to do this," that's when the gates of paradise swing open. 

I'm grateful to you, reading this column and giving me the opportunity to explore the beauty of consent. There are many people behind the scenes who work tirelessly to make the newsletter happen. Please thank them when you get the chance.

Homework: It's July, who wants homework? Other than me, probably no one, so please enjoy the gifts of the season. Share your enjoyment with us at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Corner 23.9

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello sexy readers! We hope Pride Month 2023 is all you dreamed of and more! Please look for the CSPC’s presence in the parade and festivals. Join us if you can, or come by and say hi! 

Imagine an orange “Detour” sign with an arrow pointing you in a different direction. Let’s follow that arrow for a short detour in this edition.

There’s so much in our lives that we haven’t consented to. Pain of many kinds doesn’t ask for our consent before visiting us.

Thich Nhat Hahn, a widely respected Buddhist writer, suggests that we ought to be grateful for everything that comes to us in life. This seems far easier said than done, at least for us mere mortals.

Recent encounters with pain have forced yours truly to slow down. I’m from Philly—we walk fast and talk fast. Slow down? That’s for wimps.

As I slowly left my doctor’s office on crutches recently, I noticed a few things. Her office assistant had created a beautiful environment around her, and we noted our similar attraction to shiny things. And as I passed the examination room doors on the way out, I saw pictures of the cutest critters ever: the office staff’s beloved animal companions.

Peace of mind can come from looking around to find something to be grateful for in any situation. Sometimes it seems like I have to look really, really, really hard to find that thing to be grateful for, and often through my tears. Please know that it’s there, and you’re probably in the midst of what a friend lovingly terms “another f@$&ing opportunity for growth.” Yay, right?

Homework: Celebrate Pride! And, if you have the time, slow down a bit and appreciate what you see and hear around you. Please share your gratitude with us at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.8

By Emma Atkinson

Hello lovely readers! Yes, it’s Pride month, and it’s a great time to celebrate *you* in all of your splendor.

It’s a perfect time to put on your consent hat and show off those consent-related skills you’ve been strengthening. We know that when discussing consent, good times are highly likely to be in store. Let’s celebrate good times!

Homework: Please celebrate this entire month in ways that bring you joy. We’d love to hear about how you’re celebrating at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.7

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello super sexy readers! Happy May to you! It's the month that comes in like a marmoset and goes out like a mandrill. Of course, your mileage may vary.

I thought I’d use today’s newsletter to summarize the FRIES model of consent we’ve been considering. Planned Parenthood developed the acronym to help us remember what makes up a good consent agreement. Consent ought to be Freely given by all participants and is Reversible by any participant at any time. Ideally, all participants are knowledgeable enough to make Informed and Enthusiastic decisions about Specific activities.  

When you’re having consent-related discussions, can good times be far behind? While life holds few guarantees, taking the time to talk about consent will increase the likelihood that everyone will walk away from an experience with positive feelings. Don’t you want the odds to be in your favor? I thought so.  

Homework: Do you have an experience to share when you used the FRIES model for your benefit or forgot it and wished you had remembered it? Share it with us at: info@thecspc.org.  

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma