Consent Corner 24.01

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello lovely readers! Let’s plan to make 2024 the best year ever. I’m game if you are!

Returning to our consideration of the Bumbershoot C.O.N.S.E.N.T. model, we’re up to the letter “E” which suggests that you Express Yourself and Your Boundaries, and thus Have a Great Time.

The model promotes the idea that we should remember the connection between consent conversations and fun times. It’s a connection we’ve stressed often in this column. If you’re having a consent conversation, fun times are likely to be close at hand. Yay! 

Homework: got a great 2024 resolution or affirmation? Please share them with us at: info@thecspc.org. 

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.17

Emma Atkinson

Hello my lovelies, and warm holiday greetings to you and yours! Here’s hoping we all have the happiest and most consent-filled holiday season ever.

We’ve been considering the Bumbershoot model of C.O.N.S.E.N.T, conveniently using each letter of the word. Today’s letter is S. See something weird? Speak up. Reach out to venue staff for support.

At an event, you’ll probably encounter people, situations, and activities that are new for you. Yay you! You’ll probably have some questions, and event volunteers are glad to answer them. They’re there to help — that’s their job! Remember that they’re on duty and looking out for everyone’s well-being, including yours, so please be respectful of their time.

Weirdness often abounds when the community gathers, and one person’s label of “weird” is someone else’s lived experience. We try not to “yuck” someone else’s “yum” as much as possible.

We all need to look out for each other, though, so please speak up to someone official if you’re feeling uncomfortable. Let them put your mind at ease, knowing that event volunteers will take your concerns seriously. We all thank you for helping us make the community as safe and nurturing as possible.

Homework: Enjoy the holiday season, and get out there and practice your consent skills! Share your successes with us at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.16

bY Emma Atkinson

Hello, my lovelies! Warm wishes for a wonderfully consent-filled holiday season.

Awesome future volunteer opportunity alert: The CSPC is creating a new volunteer position for parties: the Consent Advocate. The Consent Academy offered an amazing course on Zoom over two weekends last month and taught us a lot about what a Consent Advocate does and doesn’t do to create a safer and supportive environment. Too cool!

Keep an eye out in 2024 for information on this position from our HR Director and consider becoming a Consent Advocate volunteer and support the loving community that we all want to be a part of. And, when you see a Consent Advocate at a party, please say hello and thank them for all they do for us!

Homework: It’s the holiday season, so please be as kind as possible to yourself and others. Remember to let your light shine. And, every day is a good day to express your gratitude — just saying.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.15

Emma Atkinson

Hello, lovely readers!

We’ve been considering the Bumbershoot Consent model, using each letter of the word C.O.N.S.E.N.T. We’re up to “N”: No means no. Don’t make them say it twice.

“No” is a complete sentence, though, “No, thank you” is more polite. It’s probably best to begin a negative response first with something like, “Thanks so much for asking me…” Then you can decline the invitation with something like, “I can’t do that.” No explanation is necessary — keep it simple. Then, consider suggesting an alternative, as in: “How about if we talk over a cup of coffee in the next few weeks?” Of course, your suggestions would be what you’re willing to consent to. It might not hurt to come up with a few phrases you can use when needed.

For many of us, it can be quite challenging to say or to hear the word “no.” Practice may make it easier — give it a try and see how it goes for you!

Homework: Practice saying and hearing a “No” and share your thoughts at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.14

Emma Atkinson

Hello, my dear ones! Yeesh, is it really November? Fred Meyer seems bent on forcing me to recognize that the holiday season has begun. Non-PNW (Pacific Northwest) readers: Fred Meyer is a store that sells everything from organic salad to tires — so, pretty much everything, including so much holiday stuff.

Ready to talk consent? We’re considering Bumbershoot’s C.O.N.S.E.N.T model, and we’re up to the letter “O.” What’s the “O” for, you ask? Open communication is key. “Yes” can change. Clever you, aren’t you glad you asked?

We’re all about open communication here in Consent Corner. You’ve no doubt come to recognize how important it is in so many ways. You’ve seen how it can make your life better. Now, as appropriate, you can make it hot too!

We’ve talked a bit about hot communication here in the Corner. I’ll be pondering it, and I’d love to hear about your experiences. The hottest stories will be included in an upcoming episode, so send yours in now!

Especially as the holiday season approaches, it’s good to keep the idea of “Open Communication” in mind. Keeping “Good Boundaries” in mind as well probably wouldn’t hurt.

Homework: ask a partner what their favorite name is for their private parts and use that name at a suitable opportunity. How did it go? Share your hot and steamy communications at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Corner 23.13

By Emma Atkinson

Hello lovely readers! Kisses and hugs all around, and all of them consensual, of course. I'm back from traveling to France and double air kissing many French folx, as they do — so much magnificent art to see and so little time. Count me convinced that seeing art live and in person is several orders of magnitude greater than seeing reproductions.

Bumbershoot Festival at Seattle Center this year featured a poster with the word "consent" written down the left side and an explanation of what each letter represents in the land of consent. It was kind of awesome to see consent reminders as one experienced the many wonders of the festival. And, we're going to consider how each consent concept affects our lives and our experiences.

So, let's start with the letter C, which means to check yourself and your friends before you wreck someone's night. Isn't there a line in a song with the advice to check yourself before you wreck yourself? Thich Nhat Hahn suggests that one might have on one's wall the question, "Are you sure?" I'm thinking that it can't hurt to stop whatever one is up to, especially at highly emotional times, and take a good look around.

Have you ever been swept up in some hysteria of the moment only to think, in hindsight, how you might have made better choices? Who of us hasn't let our better judgment take a back seat to the lure of something or someone? As an added benefit, when you stop to look around, you have the chance to express your gratitude, as needed.

Homework: At some random time, check out yourself and your friends. What did you find? Let us know at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

Consent Advocacy Training for Volunteers

We are excited to announce a new training opportunity! As part of our ongoing work to update and expand our consent policy and practice, we have partnered with Consent Academy to create an exclusive Consent Advocacy workshop, just for CSPC volunteers!

This two-part, six-hour course will cover:

• The expectations and basics of the Consent Advocate role

• Communication and active listening skills

• Working with trauma and people caught in acute trauma reactions

• Consent-Focused Psychological First Aid

• Bystander intervention and de-escalation skills

• Supporting those involved in a consent incident

Yours to keep:

• Consent Advocate handout and presentation slides

This workshop is intended for those currently volunteering in one or more of the following capacities: Event Coordinator, Monitor, Event Host or Champion, Orientation Leader, DG Host, Tech Host, Team Captain, Discord Mod, Tasting Top, or Board Member. It is a requirement for volunteers who wish to become part of the upcoming Consent Advocate Team. Click here for more information on becoming a Consent Advocate.

This workshop is being offered at a reduced rate. For the same price as attending a CSPC event, ($25-35), this workshop offers information and skills applicable in everyday life, opens the door to enriching volunteer opportunities, and entitles you to add this Consent Academy training to your résumé. There will be a limited number of scholarships available.

Who: active volunteers (max. 35 participants)

What: six-hour workshop

When: Saturday November 11th and 18th, 1-4pm (this is a two-part workshop)

Where: online

Why: to be considered for the Consent Advocate Team and/or to expand your understanding and ability to create and maintain consent culture within our community

How: registration information coming soon

If you have questions or are unavailable on these dates, contact Skitty at HRdirector@thecspc.org. The next opportunity for this training will be in early 2024.

Consent Corner 23.12

By Emma Atkinson

Hello hot and lovely readers! Since it’s August, aren’t we finding ourselves learning about all the ways that “hot” can manifest?

I’m just back from The Frolic, and I feel like that character in the Dr. Seuss book whose heart grew several times bigger at some point. Google has informed me that this happened to the Grinch and that his heart tripled in size.  

That Grinch reference gave me pause for thought: WTF? Is my heart so small? One tries mightily to be careful not to “yuck” someone else’s “yum.” 

Local treasure and gifted writer Tom Robbins says: “There are only two mantras, yum and yuck.  Mine is yum.” That’s what The Frolic was: a long stretch of yum.  

Consent was in the air throughout. Folx were talking about it, wondering about it, and so beautifully practicing it.  

My heart is several times bigger at The Frolic’s end than it was at the start. It was super yummy and I’m grateful to all for all. Stay tuned for lots more consent goodness!  

Homework: a gold star to you if you would like one, for being the lovely human that you are.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma

“There are only two mantras, yuck and yum. Mine is yum.” —Tom Robbins

“Me too.” —Emma

Consent Corner 23.11

By Emma Atkinson 

Greetings, lovely readers! Hopefully you’ve given your consent to the many gifts of summertime.

Did you know that other people aren’t the same as you? It’s something that one can know intellectually, yet struggle with in everyday life. We can show our love and affection in different ways. Even those words “love” and “affection” can mean different things to different people at different times.

Let’s remember to celebrate our differences. Let’s appreciate each other for the wondrous beings that we are, just as we are. Let’s remember that we can always learn and grow and do better. Let’s do what we can to strengthen the community that we’re creating in all we do, alone and together.

Homework: heck no, it’s August! It’s the perfect time to share your thoughts with us at: info@thecspc.org.

"Be excellent to each other." —Bill and Ted

"Be sexcellent to each other." —Emma