THE NEURODIVERGENT DISCUSSION GROUP IS MOVING!

By Teeebone


Hey folx! Your friendly tech host here to tell you all that starting this coming February, the ND D/G will be switching from the fourth Tuesday to the third Monday of the month from 7-9 p.m.! We will still be hosting the other meeting on the first Sunday from 5-7 p.m. as usual. Please make a note of it! And now a message from our sponsor...

Come join us on Sunday, February 4th from 5-7 p.m. for a very special ND D/G focusing on tips for neurodivergents seeking employment. Here’s a quick description from our special guest:

“The power of posting. Relearning the art of the job search. Looking for work as a neurodivergent can be hell. The good news is that it doesn't have to be! It turns out the system has changed and we haven't yet learned how it works in practice now. Brian is here to show you how you can unsuck the job search and finally have the system start working for you.”

Be sure to check it out! :^)


Community Call for Volunteers - Any Architects?

As many, but not all, of our community members may be aware, we rent the space where we host our in-person parties. Gallery Erato is a lovely space, but the CSPC once upon a time had our own building, and we hope to have one again!

In the continued search for a new building, we're wondering if there might be an architect within our community who would be interested in assisting with this process. If so, please contact Larry by sending an email to facilitiescoordinator@thecspc.org.

Important Policy Updates

Happy 2024 to each one of you in our beautiful community!

You have hopefully seen these notices in previous newsletters, but as we move into the actual new year, please take a moment to review these important updated policies taking effect in 2024. 

Updated Refund Policy (started January 1)

Updated Masking Policy (to start February 1)

Thank you all! Stay sexy!

Frolic 2024 Volunteers Wanted

By Turtle and Mina

As we end 2023, Mina and I (Co-Directors of The Frolic 2024) are looking ahead and planning for The Frolic 2024 event! In preparation for this, we are looking for amazing folx who can commit to Lead positions or help plan the event. It takes many hands, tons of smiles, and commitment to create this once-a-year event. You can set your hours to fit your schedule right now though it does get busy close to July and August.

Please email us if you would like to volunteer for The Frolic 2024 planning team. Let us know what areas you'd be interested in as well as a short list of your skill sets. 

Thank you again to all the 2023 Frolic volunteers! It wasn't without its hurdles but it was a great event in the end and we are looking forward to next year. 

Our first monthly virtual meeting will be on January 18th at 7:15pm

Please email frolicvolunteers@thecspc.org to join us today!

We look forward to hearing from you!

Consent Corner 24.01

By Emma Atkinson 

Hello lovely readers! Let’s plan to make 2024 the best year ever. I’m game if you are!

Returning to our consideration of the Bumbershoot C.O.N.S.E.N.T. model, we’re up to the letter “E” which suggests that you Express Yourself and Your Boundaries, and thus Have a Great Time.

The model promotes the idea that we should remember the connection between consent conversations and fun times. It’s a connection we’ve stressed often in this column. If you’re having a consent conversation, fun times are likely to be close at hand. Yay! 

Homework: got a great 2024 resolution or affirmation? Please share them with us at: info@thecspc.org

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma

Building a Bottoming Bag

by Turtle


Trigger Warning: mild mention of heavier fetishes


It's Saturday night and all the Tops have their huge bags of toys that they wheel in in giant suitcases and toolboxes. The fun is about to begin. I can't wait.

There are things people never told me though. I would show up in my fancy clothes and enjoy a hot and heavy scene fairly quickly. When I started practicing BDSM years ago, generally a scene was 30 minutes of flogging. Then, hot and sweaty, I’d collapse to the cold concrete floor, spaced out. 

When I began to recover, I had to pull the same clothes back on. Oh, and that’s a big NO to putting back on those four-inch heels! They were not comfortable. Parts of my body had swollen from the scene. My makeup smeared in tear marks down my face.

I'm altered from playing. I needed to recover, and I didn't bring anything to help myself do that.

I saw other bottoms change into pajamas and sweatshirts for the rest of the party. This seemed like the best idea ever to my scattered perception! So, I picked up a backpack and made myself an Aftercare Bag.

Initially, this had very basic items in it. It consisted of soft, loose clothing (including flat shoes) to change into, a water bottle, a snack, and a book. This works in a pinch but as you change how you play and what the activities are, you should expand your bag.

Collage of impact toys, cleaning items, knives, sheet plastic, and liquid latex.

I added first aid supplies like alcohol wipes, gauze, blood stop, an instant ice pack, and athletic tape as I got more into blood play. I started bringing my own tarp, my own sheet (not white), a towel, a garbage bag for wet items, a travel bottle of body wash, and a brush for when I played at other venues. I am pretty fanatical about making sure anything with blood on it goes home with me.

I started including a backup of one-day’s meds in case I stayed somewhere else. The harder I played, the more I required recovery items. It felt like I was limited in scene length.

I finally learned through experimentation that I could play a much longer scene if I used those recovery items during the scene. Drinking water, a tiny snack, an inhaler, and a better check in process meant my scene didn't go straight to Safeword.

I became a heavy bottom with time. Everyone will find their own set point. I realized that I was putting deep levels of trust in whomever I was playing with. Did I know whether their toys and rope were adequately sanitized for my use? Then, a wood toy got blood on it, and the Top gifted it to me as it was now fluid-bonded to me. I gradually obtained my own toys to be used on me by others, including items most likely to become fluid bonded (usually blood) in the process of playing. I now have quite a few paddles, knives, and machetes, and a few farm/kitchen implements in my bag. The Top should ask your consent as to which toys are on the menu for the evening, to be sure about how they are used and that you are up to it. Most people have that favorite implement that's so awesome but is so banging you can only use it sparingly.

As I get older, sometimes I deal with PTSD or being over-stimulated. I added headphones, earplugs, and a comfort item like a small blanket or stuffie. I also have a list of meds, conditions, allergies, etc. that I carry with me just in case an emergency occurs.

Don't forget your favorite lube, condoms, dental dams, and sex toys! I also bring a roll of saran wrap. You just never know what might happen for the fun of it! I have a small bag I call my Vagina Bag! Fun things for vagina owners just in case I decide to let my fingers do the walking and give some digital orgasms!

It may seem like I'm carrying a lot but it's all divided into specific bags that I take with me based on my planned activities for that evening. 

I cannot even begin to explain the comfort of a super soft throw blanket against my raw bruises. All of these items get used regularly and have greatly improved my scene experiences. I hope the idea of a Bottom Bag does the same for you!

Broaden Your Mind

Other Community Events to Enjoy!

The CSPC throws amazing parties and hosts many important discussions on various topics. But luckily, we live in a place where there are many more options to dive into sex- and body-positive culture. The list below is just a sampling of some great events coming up in the next month.

We include non-CSPC events in the first issue each month. If you have an event suggestion, please email Marissa at newsletter@thecspc.org and it might make it into our next issue!


January 5 (recurring Fridays)

Kremwerk: Hot Heels - RuPaul’s Drag Race Viewing Party (free | in person)

Rev up your engines for RuPaul's Drag Race season 16 with Seattle's preferred pick of poisons, the fabulously lethal Viper Fengz! 


January 9

Pan Eros Foundation: Erotic Movement After Trauma ($23 | in person)

Connecting to or finding the erotic self can be profound, especially after living through trauma. Trauma can pull us far away from this part of ourselves, and leave us yearning to feel connected to our bodies, but deeply afraid to traverse that work. This workshop is intended to help you find safe and supportive ways to connect to your erotic self in a professional and compassionate container.


January 10

The Papaya Project: Sex Trivia ($10–20 | in person)

Join us for a fun, educational night of sex trivia and to fundraise for comprehensive sexuality education! A portion of each ticket will be donated to ROOTS Young Adult Shelter. Founded in 1999, ROOTS (Rising out of the Shadows) was Seattle’s first overnight shelter designed to meet the unique needs of homeless young adults ages 18-25 years old.


January 13

Theatre Off Jackson: Sunday Night Shuga Shaq ($45–285 | in person)

The longest running and ONLY monthly ALL PEOPLE OF COLOR Burlesque Revue in the Pacific Northwest, The Sunday Night Shuga Shaq, is back!


January 16

The Papaya Project: Seattle Sexuality Professionals Meetup (free | in person)

Are you a Sexuality Educator, Counselor, Therapist, or other sexuality-related professional living in Seattle? Do you want to connect with other people in your field, brainstorm future collaborations, or just have a space to collectively decompress? Join us for this special meet-up, where we will discuss sexuality and spirituality.


January 18

The Consent Academy: Foundations of Consent (free | online)

We all need to be able to talk about consent and how to build consent culture. Most of us have learned that 'no means no' and 'yes means yes', but consent goes way beyond that. Join us for a conversation about the foundations of consent so you can practice consent more in all aspects of your daily life.


January 19

Sex Positive World: Naughty Playoffs ($0–20 | online)

Test your Naughty knowledge via our Trivia-Jeopardy special. Featuring questions on sexy interactions with Culture, Money, BDSM/Kink, Literature and Science, join us as we embark upon this journey through Sex Positivity.


January 20

SEA-PAH: A Capitol Hill Queer History Walking Tour ($10–15 | in person)

Are you a Seattle area transplant and interested in learning more about the City's queer history? Or are you a native and have a fascination with local knowledge? SEA-PAH presents a Capital Hill Queer History Walking Tour where we'll go around one of our favorite neighborhoods learning about its history.


January 21

Sex Positive World: Worldwide Orientation ($0–25 | online)

Come get oriented to more Sex Positive World in a fun, safe, and welcoming environment! You will be greeted by the leadership of Sex Positive World at the beginning of this meet up and also spend time with leadership supporting events in your own area of the world.


January 24 (through April 3)

The Consent Academy: Consent and Leadership Series ($300+ | online)

Consent and Leadership is a unique opportunity for leaders to deepen their understanding of consent, power, trauma, and accountability. It consists of 8 workshops and one optional lab, each exploring the knowledge, skills, and practices anyone who finds themselves in a position of influence or authority needs in order to foster a consensual space.


January 27

Pan Eros Foundation: Sounding 101 ($30 | in person)

This workshop will start off with a presentation highlighting the various aspects of male urethral sounding: materials, sterilization, techniques, sexual benefits, health risks to consider, and overall safety precautions. After the presentation there will be a live sounding demonstration. The demonstration will show methods for gradually increasing thicker sounds while simultaneously stimulating the penis edging the model closer to orgasm. Disclaimer: There will be full male nudity, live demonstration of urethral sounding that may involve ejaculation.


January 28

Sex Positive World: The Pleasure Talk ($0–25 | online)

Join us for an interactive workshop on creating safer sex and more pleasurable connections through awesome communication!

News from the Board: Masking Policy Changing February 1, 2024

Since the beginning of the COVID pandemic in 2020, the CSPC’s Board has been working to protect our community from the deadly impact of this virus while continuing to meet our mission to “create spaces to celebrate, develop, and explore sexuality and sensuality among a diverse, supportive community.”

We were among the first to close our doors at the beginning of the pandemic, and we are among the last to shift from mandatory to voluntary masking at in-person events. Throughout this time, we have carefully followed the data and advice from the scientific community and public health officials, making difficult choices in consultation with our membership and our organization’s value of inclusion, especially for marginalized communities.

In August 2022, we determined that mandatory N95/KN95 masking was a stronger preventive measure than requiring vaccination with a formula that had not kept pace with viral mutation, and we changed our policies accordingly, effective October 2022.

We heard from many—former, current, and potential members—that our masking policy prevented their volunteering and participation with the CSPC community. Folx raised valid concerns about mandatory masking: allergic responses to masking materials, increased incidence of asthma and panic attacks, difficulty with communication for hearing impaired folx who read lips, and for neurodivergent folx who need additional non-verbal social cues. Communication challenges also increase the risk of consent violations, as both clear negotiation and response to a safeword may be compromised. At that time, the Board determined that there were other community spaces to welcome those members, and we needed to maintain a space that was safer for our immunocompromised members who had no other options.

When the State of Washington announced that the last masking mandates would be lifted in April 2023, the Board revisited this policy once again. We conducted a month-long survey, hosted a town hall meeting, and reviewed the current data and public policy; the details of that stage of our process are here. The membership’s voice was split, and so was the Board’s vote: 4-3 in favor of keeping mandatory masking, with a statement that we would revisit the policy again in September 2023.

In September, the Board felt that we should wait and see how the fall virus season went before making any changes, and we agreed to reconsider the question in February 2024. While there was an expected spike in respiratory infections of multiple kinds this fall, vaccine boosters formulated to address the most current strain of mutated virus are widely available, rapid and PCR testing is widely available, and our growing knowledge about the virus and proven methods of taking care of ourselves and each other have helped dramatically reduce the intensity and mortality of infections. We also witnessed health care providers briefly reinstate mandatory masking at their facilities during this spike, then return to voluntary masking as the wave of infections diminished, which provided a useful model for potential future response to short-term higher risk conditions.

The Board has continued to hear from members and volunteers who are unhappy with the mandatory masking policy for the reasons shared above and others, including issues with being cast in the role of enforcer as a volunteer and with being interrupted and questioned about masking in-scene as an event attendee. The impossibility of equal enforcement by very different individual volunteers with respect to what constitutes a “scene” in the experience of very different individual members is another concern.

Consequently, the Board reconsidered the mandatory masking policy at the December 2023 Board meeting for potential implementation February 1, 2024. The motion below was shared in the newsletter, on the blog, and on Discord a week prior to the meeting to solicit additional feedback to be considered alongside all the other comments and data gathered to that point.

Motion on Masking Policy Changes:

I move that the CSPC transition from its policy of mandatory masking with a KN95 or equivalent mask except when actively eating, drinking, or using one's mouth in a scene to optional masking in keeping with each individual's risk profile. KN95 masks will continue to be provided for use as desired, but volunteers will no longer enforce the mandatory masking policy. This policy change will be effective as of February 1, 2024, to allow members to purchase tickets with full knowledge of and consent to the new policy prior to implementation; all events prior to that date will still be under the current mandatory masking policy.

This change is aligned with current public health measures in effect in the State of Washington. The Board reserves the right and responsibility to revisit this decision as changing public health conditions require. We continue to recommend vaccination, voluntary masking, and regular hand washing/sanitizing to reduce the spread of infectious diseases including COVID, flu, and RSV. The CSPC is also pursuing options to improve ventilation and air quality at Gallery Erato to further protect our community at our events.

Attendee comment was invited after the motion was made and before the vote took place. Eight members spoke against the motion; six spoke in favor of it at the meeting. Multiple Board members shared their reasoning as well. This motion passed 9-1 to make masking optional in keeping with each individual’s risk profile. The recording of the December 2023 Board meeting is available here. Members and volunteers were also encouraged to contact the Events Director at EventsDirector@theCSPC.org to discuss Championing events with mandatory masking as desired.

There is still a lot that all of us as individual members can do to improve safety and help take care of our community while respecting each others’ autonomy. As of February 1, 2024, the CSPC’s public health mitigation protocols include:

  • Highly encouraged: wearing N95/KN95 or equivalent masks at indoor events. Members must use their own risk assessment and consideration for the safety of our community in their decisions about masking. The CSPC will continue to provide N95/KN95 masks free of charge to help prevent the spread of airborne illness.

  • Highly encouraged: vaccination (including recent COVID booster, flu, RSV, Mpox, pneumonia, and any other vaccine appropriate for your age and health risks). 

  • Highly encouraged: self-screening before attending events (rapid COVID tests, check for fever or other symptoms). Free tests delivered to your home address are available here. We don’t have the space to conduct testing on site, so please test at home. 

  • If you aren’t feeling well, stay home or wear a mask even if your test is negative. We are still offering a coupon code for a future party for folx who stay home due to illness if you email us prior to the start of the event.

  • Ventilation that pulls fresh outdoor air through the entire venue, and multiple air purification devices (three per floor) that will fully circulate and filter the air in the space once an hour using HEPA filters that trap 99.97% of particles down to 0.1 microns, plus sanitizing UV-C light to further reduce airborne virus, bacteria, and mold spores.

  • Cap of 140 tickets sold per event, so that along with event volunteer staffing we stay well within an occupancy of 164, which is the fire code for the venue.

  • Laundry professionally washed and sanitized, equipment disinfectant available on site so members can clean equipment before and after use, and sheets required between naked skin and furniture to help prevent contact-spread illness.

  • Barrier-method safer sex supplies and lube provided free (and use encouraged!) to help prevent sexually transmitted infection.

  • Highly encouraged: exchange full information regarding risk factors during negotiation, so that everybody can consent to activities with the information they need to assess their comfort with the attendant risks. This is the “I” in F.R.I.E.S.

We hope that this will help us all do the right things and keep one another safe. We understand the disappointment and frustration of our immunocompromised members and those with immunocompromised loved ones, and we acknowledge that this change will impact the accessibility of CSPC events for you. We encourage you to work with the Board and our community to create spaces that will continue to meet your needs so that we can provide truly inclusive spaces for ALL our members. The Board cannot do this work alone; we count on our fellow members to create the events and services they would like to see, as we provide guidance and support for your efforts.

We continue to monitor public health conditions, and we will announce any future changes to our protocols before tickets where those protocols would be in force go on sale. It’s important to us that everyone makes their personal health-related decisions with all the information available. Informed consent matters!

With care, we can all help keep our community safer so that we can continue to meet together for sexy good times.

Stay safe, stay sexy,

--The CSPC Board

Consent Corner 23.17

Emma Atkinson

Hello my lovelies, and warm holiday greetings to you and yours! Here’s hoping we all have the happiest and most consent-filled holiday season ever.

We’ve been considering the Bumbershoot model of C.O.N.S.E.N.T, conveniently using each letter of the word. Today’s letter is S. See something weird? Speak up. Reach out to venue staff for support.

At an event, you’ll probably encounter people, situations, and activities that are new for you. Yay you! You’ll probably have some questions, and event volunteers are glad to answer them. They’re there to help — that’s their job! Remember that they’re on duty and looking out for everyone’s well-being, including yours, so please be respectful of their time.

Weirdness often abounds when the community gathers, and one person’s label of “weird” is someone else’s lived experience. We try not to “yuck” someone else’s “yum” as much as possible.

We all need to look out for each other, though, so please speak up to someone official if you’re feeling uncomfortable. Let them put your mind at ease, knowing that event volunteers will take your concerns seriously. We all thank you for helping us make the community as safe and nurturing as possible.

Homework: Enjoy the holiday season, and get out there and practice your consent skills! Share your successes with us at: info@thecspc.org.

“Be excellent to each other.” —Bill and Ted

“Be sexcellent to each other.” —Emma